i just joined the twits. Goatfingers if any of yous care. my guess is, you dont.

i decieded to stay home today and look at sexy ladies on the internet. this is the high life.

also deiceded i want to have relations with Zooey Deschanel.

for some reason i feel the need to post only once a year. Updates as as follows:

i did get my job back at UPS but i didn't get the back pay that i was expecting. i only got 20 hrs a week for the time i had off which was 16 weeks. i was still a decent check and with the money i made while roofing, it wasn't such a bad deal. the problem i have now is that after i got my job back i don't want it. that time i had ff made me realize that i not doing what i really want to in life. i kinda wish i would have stayed fired so i could go back to school. it is what it is though. if i can get my shit together maybe ill go back soon. we"ll see what next year's post has to say about that.

i

i have been recently fired from UPS and have taken a job as a roofer. this means that i am required to be drunk and/or do meth. these things being done will allow me to steal from my fellow roofers without nearly as much, if any, guilt.
the possible plus is that if the union gets my job back, i will be paid 45hrs a week for every week ive been off. ive been off since Aug. 26th. heres the shittyier part, i may not get my job back until Jan.25th. but goddamn that will be a fat check!

i Guess its time for my yearly post.

these Are the answers to my most commonly asked question i get at work As a UPS man. take note

Is it hot enough for ya? Answer: Not until my skin is blistering and turning a golden brown.

What is it? Answer : Its a box dumb ass.

Do you only make right turns? Answer: Yes. i drive in big circles while i try on your panties from Victoria's secret.

I can i race the Truck? Answer: Only on foot.

Do you know Dale Jarrett? Answer : Biblically

this is a post for all the people who don't know me, which is all of you.

i am : Brother
uncle
Metal head
UPS man
Dork
Bad speler
college drop out
good kisser
hater of religion
lover animals
smart ass
ninja in training
good cook
funny when i'm drunk
afraid of getting rabies
roller coaster riding fool
not Asian or Mexican
over-all bad ass

just in case anyone was wondering.

this is a post only for the sheer fact that it has been over a year since the last one. nothing has changed. but that is good. sometimes change isn't always a good or wanted.

i remember a time when we had seasons in tennessee. all four were very well represented. nice cool days in the spring. hot summer pool time and popcicles from the ice cream man faded into crisp chilly evenings around a fire outside drinking my friend's father's jim beam and puking on frost bit grass. snow days and skipping school so we could do 360s in my beat-up datsun hatchback. those seem like not so long ago for now the season are very different. we have warm to hot springs with a 8 months of of skin melting summer. afterwards we have a few chilly weeks then a boiling fall into a sudden ice storm. the ice is melted by a solar flare which brings us back to spring. good things all those envorMENTAList were just making up all that shit about global warming otherwise i might be a tad worried.

well i sold my car. it hurts... it was a 337 vw gti. if you know what that is you understand. some good came out of it though, i bought a house to rent out. i think that means i am an adult now. i hope not. i don't like being an adult, except that i can buy liquior and watch porn without my mom busting in my room.

yeah. i ate to much again. thank you mr turkey and dressing!