fucking depression.

fucking loneliness. die loneliness!

oh my...just decided to cook for myself on a whim tonight...made some sort of shepherd's pie from scratch, but i had sauteed mushrooms and onions in it...anywaysss i'm so stuffed. ughhh i cooked enough for 4! at least i have leftovers.

calling it an early night..then i'm off on Thursday!

a lovely sunrise this morning from my porch... with coffee and cigarettes.

i'm baack...

and happy Fourth of July!

had two molars extracted on Thursday at a free clinic a local dentist does once a year... i'm quite proud of myself for going...i get so scared going to the doctor or dentist..i avoid it with my life...but it had gotten to the point where I could no longer eat anything without excruciating pain.. soo i rode my bicycle downtown(not the smartest transportation when about to have oral surgery)...waited in line for my choice of a: cleaning, filling, or extraction...i signed up for extraction...they took xrays...they novacained me..they pulled my tooth and the novacaine didn't quite do the trick, because goddamn it hurt! then he offered to pull the back one, which he said had to be taken out anyway and i was already numb..so i gurgled yes...and more pain...and 4 minutes later they sent me on my way with a prescription for Amoxycillen(sp?) and Vicodin. i've been good about taking the Amox, but i really only took the pain pills the first day..

ANYways. so i'm doing nothing for the Fourth...maybe i'll walk down and watch the fireworks alone... after all, it is Independence day...:p cheeeesy.

shouldn't have had that last Holy Grail last night...ughhh.