Although I have been a public member here for over five years and a member of some kind for a good bit longer, this is my first public post. Mostly I have been an observer, a voyeur, really, commenting here and there in support of an aspiring hopeful or SG as they came across my radar. I was enticed here by the likes of Quinne and Rigel (SO glad shes back!), and I didnt really feel any urgency to explore the community aspect of this site. I was very unengaged, but this summer I decided to change that.
Im a recent law school graduate in a very tough market (as if you dont all know how hard it can be to find a job if youre looking, no matter what you want to do), so essentially Ive been unemployed since a part-time summer job ended. I had Bar study to occupy me for a while, but since the end of July Ive basically just been aggressively job hunting and dwelling on my prospects as my bank account shrank and shrank (shrinks and shrinks, rather). Many sad and self-involved days followed, but that funk has passed so I wont detail it. What matters is what got me out of it.
Over the last 18 months or so I have been gradually noticing the social potential of this site. For most of my tenure here I have felt a bit like someone who didnt really fit into a place for those who dont really fit the broader world. Recently, however, I found myself more invested in the interests of certain people here. The frustrating and noble SG pursuits of Ainslie and Pyke. The wonderful rise of Tovi to glorious SG. The continuous and unmitigated joy that is Bob, Such matters got me coming back more and more. As of this summer, I found myself in possession of more time to dig into SG and see what else I could do besides ogle beautiful women. Such a move flies in the face of my normal instincts, driven by a notable social anxiety disorder (some helpful therapy helped give me a push, too), but I started talking in groups and interacting more substantively with some of the SGs and hopefuls. Early on, this mostly took the form of brief exchanges about a set and it has not yet evolved nearly as far it can to genuine friendship and frank interaction, but it is improving. I found myself smiling each time I got a message and truly enjoying talking with such a diverse and colorful group of people.
Slowly, my job search anxiety has been mitigated by my progressively increased involvement with this community. Talking with others about their own struggles, sharing in their successes (whether its hitting the front page or starting school after a hiatus), and simply immersing myself in the goings on of others has been incredibly rewarding and highly therapeutic. You have all been in one way or another a great source of comfort and relief in a period of grief and uncertainty that was at times nigh unbearable. I aspire now to be a similar support for any and all of you as the need arises.
This, I suppose, is the ultimate point of this blog. Suicidegirls has ceased to simply be a place I come for a bit of fun and a peek at sultry and wonderful women. Suicidegirls has finally become a place where I feel involved, where I can support others in pursuit of their dreams (of whatever stripe) and where I can find assurances while I follow my own. I can talk books, philosophy, sex, and whatever else with enlightened and self-aware peers. I no longer just get a stupid wicked grin on my face when I think of turning here, but instead a genuine smile eager to see whats new in this little world. SG means so very much to me now, and I certainly hope it continues to be at least as special for each and all of you. It took me almost half a decade to really discover how wonderful SG can be. Id rather none of us wasted any more such time.
Not that there isnt a certain segment on here that brings an excess of bile and judgment to the plate. Some of the most darling and open people here have been hurt by goons taking glee in inflicting purposeless pain. Its horrible, but sadly a natural part of any community as large as this. The only remedy is to prop up one another when this nonsense occurs. None of you should be afraid to share because some judgmental ass decides to set his sights on you. For every pointed and hateful message you receive, there are a thousand warm and caring comments and messages you can look upon and know that the love here far outweighs the hate and there is ultimately nothing here to be afraid of as you open your heart more and more.
Ill close with this. Thank you all for being here, for being so generous with your compassion, humor, and beauty, and for embodying the best of what SG can and should be. For my part, Ill continue to try and open up more, even while persevering in my traditional support of the photosets so many of you lovely people have shared. Have a lovely weekend!
Im a recent law school graduate in a very tough market (as if you dont all know how hard it can be to find a job if youre looking, no matter what you want to do), so essentially Ive been unemployed since a part-time summer job ended. I had Bar study to occupy me for a while, but since the end of July Ive basically just been aggressively job hunting and dwelling on my prospects as my bank account shrank and shrank (shrinks and shrinks, rather). Many sad and self-involved days followed, but that funk has passed so I wont detail it. What matters is what got me out of it.
Over the last 18 months or so I have been gradually noticing the social potential of this site. For most of my tenure here I have felt a bit like someone who didnt really fit into a place for those who dont really fit the broader world. Recently, however, I found myself more invested in the interests of certain people here. The frustrating and noble SG pursuits of Ainslie and Pyke. The wonderful rise of Tovi to glorious SG. The continuous and unmitigated joy that is Bob, Such matters got me coming back more and more. As of this summer, I found myself in possession of more time to dig into SG and see what else I could do besides ogle beautiful women. Such a move flies in the face of my normal instincts, driven by a notable social anxiety disorder (some helpful therapy helped give me a push, too), but I started talking in groups and interacting more substantively with some of the SGs and hopefuls. Early on, this mostly took the form of brief exchanges about a set and it has not yet evolved nearly as far it can to genuine friendship and frank interaction, but it is improving. I found myself smiling each time I got a message and truly enjoying talking with such a diverse and colorful group of people.
Slowly, my job search anxiety has been mitigated by my progressively increased involvement with this community. Talking with others about their own struggles, sharing in their successes (whether its hitting the front page or starting school after a hiatus), and simply immersing myself in the goings on of others has been incredibly rewarding and highly therapeutic. You have all been in one way or another a great source of comfort and relief in a period of grief and uncertainty that was at times nigh unbearable. I aspire now to be a similar support for any and all of you as the need arises.
This, I suppose, is the ultimate point of this blog. Suicidegirls has ceased to simply be a place I come for a bit of fun and a peek at sultry and wonderful women. Suicidegirls has finally become a place where I feel involved, where I can support others in pursuit of their dreams (of whatever stripe) and where I can find assurances while I follow my own. I can talk books, philosophy, sex, and whatever else with enlightened and self-aware peers. I no longer just get a stupid wicked grin on my face when I think of turning here, but instead a genuine smile eager to see whats new in this little world. SG means so very much to me now, and I certainly hope it continues to be at least as special for each and all of you. It took me almost half a decade to really discover how wonderful SG can be. Id rather none of us wasted any more such time.
Not that there isnt a certain segment on here that brings an excess of bile and judgment to the plate. Some of the most darling and open people here have been hurt by goons taking glee in inflicting purposeless pain. Its horrible, but sadly a natural part of any community as large as this. The only remedy is to prop up one another when this nonsense occurs. None of you should be afraid to share because some judgmental ass decides to set his sights on you. For every pointed and hateful message you receive, there are a thousand warm and caring comments and messages you can look upon and know that the love here far outweighs the hate and there is ultimately nothing here to be afraid of as you open your heart more and more.
Ill close with this. Thank you all for being here, for being so generous with your compassion, humor, and beauty, and for embodying the best of what SG can and should be. For my part, Ill continue to try and open up more, even while persevering in my traditional support of the photosets so many of you lovely people have shared. Have a lovely weekend!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kelpie_:
<3
linna:
Thank you for comment my set this is always fun