frylock

So I made this box to keep photos of Jesus in, but when I went to open it I got this giant fuckin splinter in my wrist. And I'm like 'holy shite, Im like Christ here, with my bleeding wrists! Like the 'passion!' And so I went on a hunt to find pics of the jeez to put in my box....but I couldnt find any,...
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Whats a dickfor?

I remember when someone told me, "There's a dickfor on your head." And I said, "What's a dickfor?" And then everyone laughed. That's when I got my gun.

Today I puked like a ninja. No..like a kitten wrapped in a ninja. NO ONE AT WORK WAS THE WISER! Beat that, Bond.

Man - long time no post. But let me say this....
If there were ever a person who should never be stabbed in the eye with a fork, it's me. And I know what you all are thinking, you're thinking, but goober, in yer pic you only show one eye anyway. And you look dead fuckin sexy! Yes, I know, but you see, my eyes...
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A male spider's reproductive organ is located at the end of one of his legs. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THAT MEANS? My god, my dream of simultaneously fucking a gal while booting her out of my apartment could be realized! That spider man has it all.

Skipping to my loo...

Alright, look; when I skip I do it like a man. Like a fuckin man! When you see me doing the gravity-defying curb-hop you better be saying to yourself "Goddamn, that MAN can SKIP! What a right sexy bastard he is!" Cause I am. Poetry in motion is the only way to define me. My leg extension: Perfect. Height: Outstanding. Distance:...
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So, apparently bathrooms still exist where you need a key to enter, and the little man on the door mocks you with his little round head and curved body as you quake like you gots the palsy cause you have to piss so bad. And by you, I mean me, today before a job interview. If my constant crossing and uncrossing of my legs cost...
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I have tried many times to tell this story to the National Enquirer, and have been stonewalled every time by their Nazi regime of fact checkers (Who are, by-the-way the best in the business.) who refused to publish the tale unless it involved our 'savior' being seen in a taco, burrito, or on the side of a barn. So I have decided to come to...
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Hrm...makin friends on this site is daunting. Perhaps if I can use my powers of dance....I need a web cam.

There is a horrible pain in my left mid-back. Were I a gay man (not that there is anything wrong with that) I would say that someone shoved a gerbil up my ass and it is currently eating away at one of my precious kidneys. Perhaps it comes from lifting weights, but the half-assed way I go about things like that make me doubt it...I...
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I have never been a part of a site that was so pink oriented. However, in the best interest of becoming a well rounded person....I shall embrace it. We doggie.