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the ex keeps bothering me. guilt trips to the right of me! guilt trips to the left! eh, i guess it comes with the territory.
okay, so......best sex EVERRRR last night!!!!!
jesus god almighty!
whooo.........
eeek eeek eeek eeek
evildoc:
well ... the question you have to answer is ... what unmet need was the ex fulfilling in your life?

Sometimes the answer to that question isn't always something great ... like maybe he fulfils a need to make your life less than you deserve, because you're not sure you're entitled to a great life?

so far the new one still sounds better than the old one.
christaylor:
I really have no advice, but best sex ever................ that I understand tongue biggrin
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ahem.....
so, he moved back down here today. the new one, not the old one. i don't know what the deal is with the old one. been ignoring his phone calls.
but the new one is here, in town. and we're going out with wendy tonite. it's funny. we both have ex-s we're trying to avoid. his hangs at the firehouse, mine at the soul...
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evildoc:
I still like the new one better than the old one! smile
foxfyre819:
yeah, well, what can i say? i can pick em. biggrin biggrin biggrin
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" and why are you constantly believing
that i, could ever give you what you're needing? baby, baby please don't put your faith in me
i don't know what to say
'cause it's all a dream to me anyway"

*uncomfortable sigh*
we talked last nite. he's getting attached. i keep telling him not to. that i can't........ that i can't give him what he needs...
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hellwood:
wow hard spot, its really hard to be there, i know, and really dont know what to tell you becuase we all do diferent things and need to do different things, no one can be the same, we make mistakes but hopefully only once then we learned our wrongs and dont do them again, but i have so cant really talk... i guess just try and follow your heart and be honest with yourself and everyone involed, that i have learned the hard way soo i bid you adieu......

elwood
lunna:
You are such a beautiful & wonderful girl. Who wouldn't fall for you? The best thing to do is exactly what elwoodwffw said.."try to follow your heart and be honest with yourself"

kiss love kiss love kiss
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so, i talked to dustin for like 500 hours last night. once on the phone, with his daughter in the background just'a playin' her little heart out! hee. and then he im-ed me and we talked for a few more hours.
he's awsome. i really like him. keeps telling me things......
keeps seeing things........ in me......
don't quite know what to make of it.
anyways,...
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evildoc:
wow -- i thought you were upset because you missed an apt with a dentist who was good in bed! smile

Sounds like too much food and not enough people, one of life's better problems. smile
lunna:
Yes you can be my pimp smile & what a lucky girl..good in bed-Yah! I finally posted my answer to my question if you want to check it out. kiss
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WOOHOO!
finally, i have added a girl to my friends!
see? i'm not a whore...... biggrin
surreal
lunna:
Thank you for your comments sweetie. kiss
Haha, guess what..I am a whore, does that still count then? haha
foxfyre819:
i suppose it would. shocked
biggrin kiss
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wendy told me that she told dustin i'm dangerous. apparently i make people fall in love with me and then squash thier hearts.
(bullshit.)
so, dustin's been calling me all over the place. he's coming back to town to drop off his daughter tuesday. we're gonna go to a movie.
i really do like him. i just hate this situation. my head's all in a...
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foxfyre819:
AHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!
(that would be a triumphant, gonna conquer the world kinda laugh)
went to court. the cop who arrested me didn't show up, so it got dismissed.
woohoo! one less thing for me to occupy mind space with!
escottie:
glad you like my kitties buster and booboo. they're both good buddies, and do something everyday to make me laugh.

just a quick note: here on SG i post in your journal and you reply in mine. that way if you post in the journals of 50 people, you don't have to go back to each to see who replied. they'll come to you.

you use my box; i use your box. so to speak. wink

i don't have time right now, but i'm going to come back and write later. some of the stuff in your profile really rocks me.

kiss love kiss
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so, it started day before yesterday. new year's day. i was sitting around all day waiting for wendy to call me so that she could take me to get my car. i waited and waited. finally, i got this call from her house. picked it up, and it wasn't wendy. it was dustin, the cutie i was flirting with all new years eve night. he...
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evildoc:
only thrice? you're getting old! Actually -- I'm really glad you hooked up hon. You need more men in your life who will worship you as the goddess that you are.
evildoc:
People who love us never hurt us intentionally. Relationships like that just rip me open deep inside the entire time we're together. When's it's over, the deep wound gets exposed and it takes a lot of healing. Lots of self-blame. Sounds melodramatic eh?

My bottom line is ... people who hurt me intentionally are out of my life forever. No second chances. I deserve to be around people who love and respect me. Actually ... I have no tolerance for anyone who hurts anyone intentionally. I'd rather be celibate than be with an asshole.

It sounds like you have something there that feels good right now. Give yourself permission to enjoy it. Forget your fears and go with how things feel. Be honest with him and yourself about your real needs.

I miss being 19 and being able to hammer for 48 hours straight before coming up for air. Sigh. frown I think that's a guy thing. Production is a measure of our manliness.
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oh what a nite. late december back in '63.
yeah, that too. man, i had me a nite! so, i get ready. i was supposed to meet wendy down at the soul bar at 11, but me being the perpetually late creature that i am, i got there at 11:30. anyways, countdown came, and i kissed her. but if i get sick it's all her...
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fancybear:
I love a good peice of work. And baby, you are one! An inspiration. Drunken reach... that's awesome!

I really appreciate your support. I can't say how neat and cool is has been to interact with you here on SG...
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dammit! just when i think i have a handle on things, i gotta start thinking again and mess it all up.
fuckin'...gaddammit.
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fancybear:
Yeah, I use my Hotmail and MSN Messenger. I was offline today... Got up late and went and bummed around with one of my bestest friends (god I love her... sigh).

I hope you have a good New Year. They have always been a bit of a let down for me, maybe this year...

smile
christaylor:
what the hell you do now?
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finally! i got the sense that i have some kind of control over my emotions. the whole kristopher thing was really throwing me for a loop, but just like someone flipped a switch in my head, i feel like i have some distance from it. now i can concentrate on my shit. all the stuff i wanna do. all the stuff i gotta do.
sigh...
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apologees:
legal stuff sucks frown

howd you get to do comm service at the cemetary? thats pretty neat.

world news: micheal jackson still likes little boys.
_v_:
ewww the mall seems nasty
i remember it being weird
and ghetto
it was the gi mall
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everybody: breathe easier now. christmas is ovah!
thank the goddesses!!!!!
it went really well at the foxfyre homestead. i finally got my christmas crap up like christmas eve. i was determined to make it nice for my aunt because both of my parents are in iraq and it's just her and me here. so, i did it all in a night, and she came over...
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twwly:
biggrin
fancybear:
I'm good... Things are always a bit wierd thru the holidays. They canceled a show I was going to work yesterday, the money would have been nice but I was happy to have the night off.

kiss
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woohoo! my mom called me today! haven't spoken to her since thanksgiving. i'm so happy i got to talk to her!!!!!!! miss my mom.
these days just keep getting better.
went to my probation appt. yesterday. all went really well. turns out that as long as i complete community service and pay the fines within a timely manner, i will get taken off supervised probation,...
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achterbahn:
Merry Christmas!!

smile
twwly:
kiss