Things are good this weekend. For a while I was kind of depressed and lonely every weekend. I'm not sure what happened that could contribute to my feeling normal again. Perhaps I am just psyched about moving out, and simultaneously distracted with papers I need to be writing. Had a bit of an encounter with the ex on Facebook, it kind of wrecked my whole...
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I was pretty pissed off this week. My therapist asked me to write about what I found valuable or positive about my own body. Now, my initial emotional reaction was to feel uneasy and conflicted about such a prospect. But, it launched me into investigating the layers upon layers of historical and social antecedents that has lead me to feel the way I do about...
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I am finally breaking out of this rut I've been in. I've been journaling like crazy and getting some real psychological results. Sure, sometimes I'm kind of bitchy for some days after I spill my feelings out on the page and get down to my deep and dark emotions, but a few days afterwords I feel better. I have also been doing some of the...
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Busy, busy, busy. I really haven't had any time to reflect on my feelings or my ex, perhaps I also had little time to feel sad as well. This could be a good thing, but I'm not sure yet. I started TAing a moral philosophy course this week. Things are pretty rough going. I had no idea that students entering University really know so little...
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In the movie "The Visitor", near the beginning of the movie the central character seems lost. He is smart, and intelligent, but the character that is presented reflects a deep lacking in a close human connection. He is trudging through life, sitting alone at the dinner table in the cafeteria, distant in meetings, and tries but fails to learn how to play piano. His heart...
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marysa:
thanks 
mr.... your lines made me feel sad
i hope you can get better, i've always thought that we all do, we all get better from breakups eventually, i did.
sending you lots of love and hugs
mr.... your lines made me feel sad
i hope you can get better, i've always thought that we all do, we all get better from breakups eventually, i did.sending you lots of love and hugs
It is the end of the week again! I had a wonderful counseling session on Monday where I recounted some of the emotional abuse in my past relationship. It was difficult, but still confirming that a mental health professional could identify my pain, sadness and anger. After I had left I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The next day, however,...
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It is new years eve and I have just returned from a short Christmas vacation that I spent with family. I am trying not to dwell on the fact that I am doing nothing this new years but sitting at home, watching movies and reading. I have no idea why such things would bother me internally, but it does for some reason. I have never...
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I am feeling isolated again this weekend. It is not as if I am alone, my parents hang around and I suppose I could ask them if they want to go and hang out, but I am self conscious about that. I ask myself, "Is this what I am left with now? Hanging out with my parents?" Perhaps it is, as pathetic as that is....
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sunspun:
You will find love again. And you will learn ways to fulfill your hearts's desires in the myriad relationships available to you. Don't get caught up in what love has to look like, just be available. Show up. Go places. This is how things happen differently- by doing things differently. It will get better.
And for what it's worth, I love going out with my mom. We can close down a bar like no one's business
And for what it's worth, I love going out with my mom. We can close down a bar like no one's business
I thought about the ex today and all this week after she messaged me on facebook to let me know she blocked me on skype. Why the fuck did that bother me so much? I don't know. I suppose because that is the only way that we stay in touch. Perhaps I have some latent codependency issues I still need to work through. Perhaps on...
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violently:
it bothered you because it was pointless and irrational on her part. why would anyone block someone on one site, only to contact them on another to point out that fact? it's like she's trying to provoke a reaction out of you. how can you be expected to move on if she uses any excuse to contact you to manipulate you and exert her perceived authority over you?
I can't wait to move out! For my entire past I have been living at home, trying to save money as I go to school and minimize student loans. It was a smart idea at the time, but it's beginning to wear thin. I have a job now, and I am planning on getting my own apartment. Who knows how long I will have that...
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I deleted my past blog posts. These are my past, and I am a new man. I had expressed some of my emotions that I wanted to get out about my break up and love in a private setting, at the time it was wonderfully therapeutic but I am looking forward now and have decided to put the past behind me. Indeed, deleting blog posts...
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marysa:
i love this blog ♥
I'll keep you posted, i'm excited/nervous/worried i hope as always, this only brings the best out of me again.