Grrr... even though the salmon was delicious with the little mango salad on top -- I had a terrible time. Everywhere, everyone was a vaccuous black hole. Their very essences and trivialities were all completely offensive to my very existence.

So yes -- while I did try my best to smile, I know it was fake. Just the lone guy ordering dinner alone and having a sip of wine to himself. Nothing more. How I would have liked to believed that every single one was a beautiful soul and an elegant mind.

I'm sorry if you find my lack of faith terminal. It's nothing really -- just another down in the battle of averages. If I could just escape the limited universe of sensual pleasures for a moment, I could be back on my feet again in no time. Happy as a bee.

Alas there are those that we shall adore but never see. One of the many loves life has kept in reserve... supposed to have been kept secret until needed. She is my fancy, my ideal -- inescapable and never there. How I long to give myself unto her completely.

And I shall toil on and on until I am weary.. but never will she have me entirely.