My grandparents recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. We had a big party/reception for them and I believe that they had a great time. Of course, I needed to bring their first great-grandchild, nine month old Simon, to the celebration, which I was happy to do.

However, this celebration brought out a lot of people, most who were my age in the '50s and early '60s, and put them on a collision course with me. Some notable conversations happened, which I would like to share with all of you.

The one referenced in the title of this post was spoken by my great uncle Jerry, from Tennessee. I was sitting away from most of the other people, breastfeeding Simon. Jerry boiled over and said, "You're still feeding him from your...", gesturing uncomfortably at his chest, "...that's no way to raise a man!"
Somewhat shocked, I stuttered "...but he's a baby."
Jerry curtly replied "And he always will be thanks to you," and stormed off.

That was one of those moments where I wish I could be as clever as Doctor Who, defeating enemies by making them feel bad about what they are doing.

The next situations happened when I was carrying Simon in a sling. There's not a unique conversation that stands out in my mind, but here are some quotes:
"Why don't you just put him down?"
"He's never going to walk if you keep carrying him."
"You're spoiling him."
Wait, I was mistaken. One quote does stand out in my mind, again from uncle Jerry, "You should let him come to Tennessee with me. Give me a week and I'll make a man out of him."

Ok, one more and then you'll be free to tell me your thoughts. Cousins of my grandfather, who were mostly polite but obviously uncomfortable about my previous antics, asked me if Simon watched any kids shows. I started to say something about Baby Einstein and they nodded approvingly, saying that their grandchild now loved Vivaldi. I then broke rapport with them with this sentence: "He also likes Sesame Street - especially Elmo."
"Oh, you've got to be careful...

My grandparents recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. We had a big party/reception for them and I believe that they had a great time. Of course, I needed to bring their first great-grandchild, nine month old Simon, to the celebration, which I was happy to do.

However, this celebration brought out a lot of people, most who were my age in the '50s and early '60s, and put them on a collision course with me. Some notable conversations happened, which I would like to share with all of you.

The one referenced in the title of this post was spoken by my great uncle Jerry, from Tennessee. I was sitting away from most of the other people, breastfeeding Simon. Jerry boiled over and said, "You're still feeding him from your...", gesturing uncomfortably at his chest, "...that's no way to raise a man!"
Somewhat shocked, I stuttered "...but he's a baby."
Jerry curtly replied "And he always will be thanks to you," and stormed off.

That was one of those moments where I wish I could be as clever as Doctor Who, defeating enemies by making them feel bad about what they are doing.

The next situations happened when I was carrying Simon in a sling. There's not a unique conversation that stands out in my mind, but here are some quotes:
"Why don't you just put him down?"
"He's never going to walk if you keep carrying him."
"You're spoiling him."
Wait, I was mistaken. One quote does stand out in my mind, again from uncle Jerry, "You should let him come to Tennessee with me. Give me a week and I'll make a man out of him."

Ok, one more and then you'll be free to tell me your thoughts. Cousins of my grandfather, who were mostly polite but obviously uncomfortable about my previous antics, asked me if Simon watched any kids shows. I started to say something about Baby Einstein and they nodded approvingly, saying that their grandchild now loved Vivaldi. I then broke rapport with them with this sentence: "He also likes Sesame Street - especially Elmo."
"Oh, you've got to be careful with Sesame Street," he said, "their message is not always right." (emphasis his, not mine)
Again, I was not up to snuff in dealing out clever responses, so I said, "Uh....I guess you've got to be careful with anything..." and wandered off, muttering something about changing Simon's diaper.

So...are you laughing? Outraged? Think I'm whining? Tell me here or here !