Hey kids. Covenant: White. The first book in my fantasy/detective/horror series is in the final proof reading stage, i.e. as good as done. I'm tossing out per-release copies to friends because I'm looking for some honest opinions on the work related to its world wide sales. If any of you are interested in reading a .pdf pre-release let me know, but I'm only looking for people who are willing to read the book front to back and then give me their honest opinions. Also, I have an editor/proof reader. I'm not looking for more people to help me there, my editor will catch it all in the final PF don't worry about that, just sit back and enjoy the read. If you are interested message me an email address that I can send the .pdf to.
Thanks kids.
Thanks kids.
I walked down to the filling station. I put ten dollars down on the counter and I went outside to fill my can with 87 at the pump. I watched the yellow moon in the sky while i listened to fossil fuels fill up the can I'd brought along.
I walked home three gallons heavier than I left, but no one was home to mind the extra weight. I checked my phone before I left...no one called...nothing new there. I walked out back and I took a bath, no one was there to watch me light the match.
If a man self-immolates in his own back yard is there anyone there to listen to him scream? The answer is yes...always yes. Even the cockroaches noticed me tonight.
I burnt myself again, I rendered down to ash and yet here I stand.
I am an unbelievable achievement, I allow nothing but the best and therefore I am the worst in us all. I am a monster and I have the scars to prove it, I am a fighter and I have the kills tallied in pin pricks and bits of used up paper.
I've always been thankful for my health, even when I've had precious little else. Now I don't even have that. I'm thinking of buying a motorcycle, I haven't done any riding since I was a kid...since the accident, I haven't ridden since I was too young to have a license. I don't even know what the test entails in Cali.
I've got a finished book that's in editorial purgatory, I'm halfway through the second and I've got another five or so in the series...all sitting there and waiting to be finished up. But even if I do finish writing it all (and I will because writing is the one bitch who has never let me give up), I live with no guarantees. I had some guarantees...once, they're all gone, I got used to them...too used to them. That's why I spent that ten dollars, that's why I sat in the drive way and wondered if it was time.
It was...
I walked home three gallons heavier than I left, but no one was home to mind the extra weight. I checked my phone before I left...no one called...nothing new there. I walked out back and I took a bath, no one was there to watch me light the match.
If a man self-immolates in his own back yard is there anyone there to listen to him scream? The answer is yes...always yes. Even the cockroaches noticed me tonight.
I burnt myself again, I rendered down to ash and yet here I stand.
I am an unbelievable achievement, I allow nothing but the best and therefore I am the worst in us all. I am a monster and I have the scars to prove it, I am a fighter and I have the kills tallied in pin pricks and bits of used up paper.
I've always been thankful for my health, even when I've had precious little else. Now I don't even have that. I'm thinking of buying a motorcycle, I haven't done any riding since I was a kid...since the accident, I haven't ridden since I was too young to have a license. I don't even know what the test entails in Cali.
I've got a finished book that's in editorial purgatory, I'm halfway through the second and I've got another five or so in the series...all sitting there and waiting to be finished up. But even if I do finish writing it all (and I will because writing is the one bitch who has never let me give up), I live with no guarantees. I had some guarantees...once, they're all gone, I got used to them...too used to them. That's why I spent that ten dollars, that's why I sat in the drive way and wondered if it was time.
It was...
Excuse me...excuse me please...will the real fat baldy PLEASE STAND UP...?
Is this thing on?
So yeah my last blog was a big whiner let down and this one is...okay its a two part so suck along all three of you.
The relationship is back on, but just as open door as before, so hide your sisters and your fathers.
<---still on the market for pink parts.
She took the time she needed to sort through the issues from her childhood and things are better. The sex is still tragically vanilla and that is even more reason for us to stay in an open relationship.
Anyone need a good spanking? Maybe some hair pulling? Most certainly some time tied to something or another...yes?
Anyway. Home like is good, but she still needs to grow the fuck up and realize that working for money is more important that being an "artist" because she's about out of accident money and when she looks at me (she will in two weeks when the bills are due rest assured) Im going to have a good laugh and remind her that we are both adults capable of employment.
That might be the end of things and that will hurt a lot, but keeping our relationship going and keeping us both happy isn't worth me being a lone income wage slave raising an adult child. Heartbreaking as that realization has become.
Writing...I'm still doing it and the revised Covenant work is now 60 plus chapters and going strong. I haven't picked it up in a while, but I'm not giving up on writing something I love so much. Its all on deviant art for those who want to save the trouble of ordering at as a book...lol.
What is currently interrupting my writing is well...work. The unending public service hell that I call a job. Things are bad and getting worse and I may very well end up with a LOT OF FREE TIME soon because I'm likely as not going to cut my own throat and just quit.
I actually had my bosses boss tell me that my work is "horseshit". He called me a liar and informed me that if I didn't follow the inane and counter intuitive instructions of my boss I'd be "fast tracked out of my position".
I am a devoted and dedicated worker and I take my work very seriously, I take pride in my work and I know the real political and racial motivations for this issue. Logically I know that he is the one who is full of "Horseshit". Sadly my logic is faulty when my temper is up.
I just sat there and took his shit, called the union and had them bullshit me about how they can take my money but cant do much to help, and then I went to work and smeared his car in shit. Yeah its childish...no it didn't solve anything and no...it doesn't make me want to kill him any less.
But Ive since developed the cool demeanor of the "about to be fired". I know its coming and Im getting used to relaxing and letting it come.
I asked for a transfer, I've filed a grievance (if you have a union and they allow you to file grievances against your boss...don't do it...unless you really want to get let go). Now Im just waiting for the write ups and the final check.
I'm scrambling to find other work.
Its money...its always money. Money will kill my relationship, money has me worried about a job I stopped liking a year ago. Money...mmmmm.
Let the whining continue....
The good news...the milestone was the Covenant news...the rest is all just...variations on a theme.
Is this thing on?
So yeah my last blog was a big whiner let down and this one is...okay its a two part so suck along all three of you.
The relationship is back on, but just as open door as before, so hide your sisters and your fathers.
<---still on the market for pink parts.
She took the time she needed to sort through the issues from her childhood and things are better. The sex is still tragically vanilla and that is even more reason for us to stay in an open relationship.
Anyone need a good spanking? Maybe some hair pulling? Most certainly some time tied to something or another...yes?
Anyway. Home like is good, but she still needs to grow the fuck up and realize that working for money is more important that being an "artist" because she's about out of accident money and when she looks at me (she will in two weeks when the bills are due rest assured) Im going to have a good laugh and remind her that we are both adults capable of employment.
That might be the end of things and that will hurt a lot, but keeping our relationship going and keeping us both happy isn't worth me being a lone income wage slave raising an adult child. Heartbreaking as that realization has become.
Writing...I'm still doing it and the revised Covenant work is now 60 plus chapters and going strong. I haven't picked it up in a while, but I'm not giving up on writing something I love so much. Its all on deviant art for those who want to save the trouble of ordering at as a book...lol.
What is currently interrupting my writing is well...work. The unending public service hell that I call a job. Things are bad and getting worse and I may very well end up with a LOT OF FREE TIME soon because I'm likely as not going to cut my own throat and just quit.
I actually had my bosses boss tell me that my work is "horseshit". He called me a liar and informed me that if I didn't follow the inane and counter intuitive instructions of my boss I'd be "fast tracked out of my position".
I am a devoted and dedicated worker and I take my work very seriously, I take pride in my work and I know the real political and racial motivations for this issue. Logically I know that he is the one who is full of "Horseshit". Sadly my logic is faulty when my temper is up.
I just sat there and took his shit, called the union and had them bullshit me about how they can take my money but cant do much to help, and then I went to work and smeared his car in shit. Yeah its childish...no it didn't solve anything and no...it doesn't make me want to kill him any less.
But Ive since developed the cool demeanor of the "about to be fired". I know its coming and Im getting used to relaxing and letting it come.
I asked for a transfer, I've filed a grievance (if you have a union and they allow you to file grievances against your boss...don't do it...unless you really want to get let go). Now Im just waiting for the write ups and the final check.
I'm scrambling to find other work.
Its money...its always money. Money will kill my relationship, money has me worried about a job I stopped liking a year ago. Money...mmmmm.
Let the whining continue....
The good news...the milestone was the Covenant news...the rest is all just...variations on a theme.
Well I don't really know where to begin but here I go. The love of my life just got in her car and drove to Las Vegas. On Monday when she got home everything was over and there was no chance for the two of us. When she came home on Monday she'd been gone all weekend for group therapy and she'd finally come to terms with being raped when she was 14. She'd locked it away and never dealt with it and she was pretty sure she'd been Lesbian before the attack.
Running off that trauma and the issues involved she couldn't imagine continuing the life we'd spent the last two years building.
Two days later, two days of calling off work and talking and holding one another the best I've got to run with is that she's telling me she wants to keep in touch and that she wants to do everything she can to get healthy and find her way back to me and our relationship.
I know life doesn't come with any guarantees...and she's committed to getting a place of her own out there "for a little while" so there's all the chance in the world that she wont be coming back. But I've got hope...it isn't much but its enough to get me by.
I love her.
The saddest part other than me being an emo douchebag is that the folks I know on this site are the only people who are likely to having anything useful to say about all this. My "real world" friends are self absorbed assholes these days.
Running off that trauma and the issues involved she couldn't imagine continuing the life we'd spent the last two years building.
Two days later, two days of calling off work and talking and holding one another the best I've got to run with is that she's telling me she wants to keep in touch and that she wants to do everything she can to get healthy and find her way back to me and our relationship.
I know life doesn't come with any guarantees...and she's committed to getting a place of her own out there "for a little while" so there's all the chance in the world that she wont be coming back. But I've got hope...it isn't much but its enough to get me by.
I love her.
The saddest part other than me being an emo douchebag is that the folks I know on this site are the only people who are likely to having anything useful to say about all this. My "real world" friends are self absorbed assholes these days.
So I'm going out to the desert labor day weekend. Dressing up like a pirate and hitting people with sticks as per usual. Any of you ren faire/re-creationist kids feel like coming on out for an afternoon or for the weekend hit me up.
The link to my re creationist groups annual camping trip. Come along if you are interested in learning about piracy AFTER Johnny Depp! Oh and if you want to just come along and get wasted in the woods...that too.
So...
did you get your adventure pass?
Are you packing your tent and sleeping bags?
Are you planning meals consisting of lunch meats and granola bars?
Are you ready to kick my ass in penny poker?
Are you readying your abilities for playing Go Fish and other mindless
card/board games?
Are you ready to poop in a bucket and huddle around a propane heater?
I really need to learn to sell these camping trips better...I SWEAR!
http://www.fs.fed.us/r5/sanbernardino/ap/
Get an adventure pass for your car or suck cows in retrospect!!!
WHAT: Darksail Mountain Event 2010
WHO: You tell me...hit me up and let me know if you are coming please!
NO REALLY THIS MEANS YOU! Come on guys its the cost of an adventure pass plus
ten bucks for camp fee plus food and booze, it CAN'T get cheaper...not for any
of you and still none of you have r.s.v.p.ed.
WHEN: Saturday July 17th 10am to July 18th at Dusk.
WHY: Because well...its tradition.
WHERE: Jenks Lake Rd w, Angelus Oaks, CA 92305, United States
Type THAT into yahoo maps BITCH. You can actually find it now. BUT...the key is
get to the 38 and head up Jenks lake Road W head up Saturday as early as you can
so you don't miss the days fun and so you have time to put up a tent and find us
in the DAY LIGHT.
(if you get to Jenks Lake Rd E...and back to the highway double back because you
missed us)!!!
I'll put a small sign on the road at the site I've chosen when I head up that
morning. So call me so I can walk out to the road so you can find us. I'll also
check the mile marker on my car so I can tell you how long to go on Jenks Lake
Rd West from the Angelus Oaks restaurant turn off.
This will be our typical Mountain event. We'll sit and play dice and card and
board games, I'll try to head up a nature hike with cameras and all that good
shit.
I'll supply a two burner stove for cooking dinner...bring food to cook or go get
food down the hill either way...its up to you.
I'll bring some propane heaters and a tent to hang out in, as well as some basic
camp needs and a few buckets to poop in.
We'll wake up and play some more games and talk shit and then we'll pack up and
have dinner some place down the hill.
YOU WILL NEED:
A tent or car to sleep in, blankets and warm clothes, food, your own damn
beverages, bring all the games and things to distract yourself (AND OTHER
PEOPLE) with that you care to bring.
Don't be a creep, a baby, or a needy bitch, this is primitive camping and YES
THE DARKSAIL camp fee will be in place, I'll be buying the stove for cooking and
I'll be bringing other basic needs I'll need y'all to help me cover costs for
the event.
Bring BRAVE friends and extend the invitation to folks who are looking to come
out and play with Darksail this war season. (No better time to break them in
than some place where they can't run away).
Also, I would LOVE to bend your ears about our plans for the coming war
season...(you know Highland and Great western).
So sound off and let me know what time you'll be coming up Saturday the 17th of
July, what games/distractions you'll be bringing and hit me up if you have any
other questions.
No really I mean it, I know Jeff and Richard and Jenna and I will go, but we
could just sit at my place and hold a pow wow circle jerk, so why should the
four of us spend good money to do that? I mean COME ON!
Give the four of us a reason not to just chill at my pad playing rock band and
drinking with a flush toilet in the next room!
Wed Jun 30, 2010 1:30 am
Show Message Option
View Source
Use Fixed Width Font
Unwrap Lines
"Uriah Wolf" <captianeconnor@yahoo.com>
captianeconnor
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
Remove Author | Ban Author
Delete Message #400 of 402 < Prev | Next >
Expand Messages Author Sort by Date
Mountain Event July 17th/18th
So... did you get your adventure pass? Are you packing your tent and sleeping bags? Are you planning meals consisting of lunch meats and granola bars? Are you... Uriah Wolf
captianeconnor
Offline Send Email 1:34 am
< Prev Topic | Next Topic >
Message #
Search:
Advanced
Start Topic
SPONSOR RESULTS
Help Aid Wildlife Rescue
www.Facebook.com/DawnSavesWildlife - Learn How You Can Help Dawn® Save Wildlife From Recent Oil Spill.
Visa® - FIFA World Cupx2122;
YouTube.com/USAGoFans - Watch the Man Behind the Most Well-Known Goooal Shout.
How To Make a Clan in Halo
new-howto-guide.com - Complete How To Guide On This Topic and 1000s of Others for paid sub.
Copyright © 2010 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.
Privacy Policy - About Our Ads - Terms of Service - Copyright Policy - Guidelines - Help
So...
did you get your adventure pass?
Are you packing your tent and sleeping bags?
Are you planning meals consisting of lunch meats and granola bars?
Are you ready to kick my ass in penny poker?
Are you readying your abilities for playing Go Fish and other mindless
card/board games?
Are you ready to poop in a bucket and huddle around a propane heater?
I really need to learn to sell these camping trips better...I SWEAR!
http://www.fs.fed.us/r5/sanbernardino/ap/
Get an adventure pass for your car or suck cows in retrospect!!!
WHAT: Darksail Mountain Event 2010
WHO: You tell me...hit me up and let me know if you are coming please!
NO REALLY THIS MEANS YOU! Come on guys its the cost of an adventure pass plus
ten bucks for camp fee plus food and booze, it CAN'T get cheaper...not for any
of you and still none of you have r.s.v.p.ed.
WHEN: Saturday July 17th 10am to July 18th at Dusk.
WHY: Because well...its tradition.
WHERE: Jenks Lake Rd w, Angelus Oaks, CA 92305, United States
Type THAT into yahoo maps BITCH. You can actually find it now. BUT...the key is
get to the 38 and head up Jenks lake Road W head up Saturday as early as you can
so you don't miss the days fun and so you have time to put up a tent and find us
in the DAY LIGHT.
(if you get to Jenks Lake Rd E...and back to the highway double back because you
missed us)!!!
I'll put a small sign on the road at the site I've chosen when I head up that
morning. So call me so I can walk out to the road so you can find us. I'll also
check the mile marker on my car so I can tell you how long to go on Jenks Lake
Rd West from the Angelus Oaks restaurant turn off.
This will be our typical Mountain event. We'll sit and play dice and card and
board games, I'll try to head up a nature hike with cameras and all that good
shit.
I'll supply a two burner stove for cooking dinner...bring food to cook or go get
food down the hill either way...its up to you.
I'll bring some propane heaters and a tent to hang out in, as well as some basic
camp needs and a few buckets to poop in.
We'll wake up and play some more games and talk shit and then we'll pack up and
have dinner some place down the hill.
YOU WILL NEED:
A tent or car to sleep in, blankets and warm clothes, food, your own damn
beverages, bring all the games and things to distract yourself (AND OTHER
PEOPLE) with that you care to bring.
Don't be a creep, a baby, or a needy bitch, this is primitive camping and YES
THE DARKSAIL camp fee will be in place, I'll be buying the stove for cooking and
I'll be bringing other basic needs I'll need y'all to help me cover costs for
the event.
Bring BRAVE friends and extend the invitation to folks who are looking to come
out and play with Darksail this war season. (No better time to break them in
than some place where they can't run away).
Also, I would LOVE to bend your ears about our plans for the coming war
season...(you know Highland and Great western).
So sound off and let me know what time you'll be coming up Saturday the 17th of
July, what games/distractions you'll be bringing and hit me up if you have any
other questions.
No really I mean it, I know Jeff and Richard and Jenna and I will go, but we
could just sit at my place and hold a pow wow circle jerk, so why should the
four of us spend good money to do that? I mean COME ON!
Give the four of us a reason not to just chill at my pad playing rock band and
drinking with a flush toilet in the next room!
Wed Jun 30, 2010 1:30 am
Show Message Option
View Source
Use Fixed Width Font
Unwrap Lines
"Uriah Wolf" <captianeconnor@yahoo.com>
captianeconnor
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
Remove Author | Ban Author
Delete Message #400 of 402 < Prev | Next >
Expand Messages Author Sort by Date
Mountain Event July 17th/18th
So... did you get your adventure pass? Are you packing your tent and sleeping bags? Are you planning meals consisting of lunch meats and granola bars? Are you... Uriah Wolf
captianeconnor
Offline Send Email 1:34 am
< Prev Topic | Next Topic >
Message #
Search:
Advanced
Start Topic
SPONSOR RESULTS
Help Aid Wildlife Rescue
www.Facebook.com/DawnSavesWildlife - Learn How You Can Help Dawn® Save Wildlife From Recent Oil Spill.
Visa® - FIFA World Cupx2122;
YouTube.com/USAGoFans - Watch the Man Behind the Most Well-Known Goooal Shout.
How To Make a Clan in Halo
new-howto-guide.com - Complete How To Guide On This Topic and 1000s of Others for paid sub.
Copyright © 2010 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.
Privacy Policy - About Our Ads - Terms of Service - Copyright Policy - Guidelines - Help
So...
then there was the vasectomy.
I walked in to my local planned parenthood (past the hypocrites and the lost little children in big kid clothes who still cling to the crooked crutch of filthy religion) and waited around for three hours with a host of nervous looking men. Turned out it was mothafuckin' vasectomy give away day or something.
They went out before me and came out before me; one was nearly in tears, a few stiff chinned it, and one dude strutted out like it was a weekly routine he did just to make sure.
I was stuck thinking "well shit man, I've always had a high thresh hold of pain, this will be easy and I'll walk out strutting like that dude...fer sure".
They called my name and I wondered into the room of testicular mutilation. Granted...at the time I was pumped up and ready and no one showed me the bright neon green sign that clearly stated "We're here to handle your nuts like they owed us an even 10K from a year ago".
They give me a few minutes to get naked and cover my self with a thin paper napkin sheet.
The Dr. was cool as FUCK I'll give him that, professional and cool as a cucumber.
The two nurses handled my junk like pro's (wait that didn't come out right...they handled my junk like disinterested pro's...no wait...they acted like nurses yeah...that's it).
The Mexican nurse and I talked about my time working for a coroners office and the black nurse and I talked about the virtues of old country music and the relative evils of modern country.
The Dr. lifted my little white napkin sheet and said to the room at large "Those are some large testicles".
I shit you not kids.
The nurses looked over and nodded. Then they got down to business.
I took six shots of lidocaine. It took twenty minutes of pure testicular mutilation. It was glorious. The Dr. didn't mind me putting a pillow behind me so I could lean up and see the action.
He found fatty tissue around my cords...its not unique but now I can literally tell chicks to "Come on over and suck on my PHAT balls". (Except I'm not big on Ball Sucking...so nevermind...scratch that one ladies).
In the after math of my "Procedure". I've gotten to know an Ice pack or two more than anyone should ever get to know an Ice pack. But the pain was nothing...minimal...a few hours of that just post kicked in the crotch gut pain and I was off and running.
Five days later and I'm feeling just fine and I'll never look back.
(Those of you who know me well know my long and ugly story about the trouble my dick has gotten me into in the past and you'll understand and support how fucking THRILLED I am about never having to worry about that shit ever again).
So yeah...guys...if you don't want kids...DO IT. It's Empty tested and Empty Approved.
P.S. For those of you (all two of you) who have wondered why I don't post Covenant here anymore. Check me out here.
http://avantepunk.deviantart.com/
then there was the vasectomy.
I walked in to my local planned parenthood (past the hypocrites and the lost little children in big kid clothes who still cling to the crooked crutch of filthy religion) and waited around for three hours with a host of nervous looking men. Turned out it was mothafuckin' vasectomy give away day or something.
They went out before me and came out before me; one was nearly in tears, a few stiff chinned it, and one dude strutted out like it was a weekly routine he did just to make sure.
I was stuck thinking "well shit man, I've always had a high thresh hold of pain, this will be easy and I'll walk out strutting like that dude...fer sure".
They called my name and I wondered into the room of testicular mutilation. Granted...at the time I was pumped up and ready and no one showed me the bright neon green sign that clearly stated "We're here to handle your nuts like they owed us an even 10K from a year ago".
They give me a few minutes to get naked and cover my self with a thin paper napkin sheet.
The Dr. was cool as FUCK I'll give him that, professional and cool as a cucumber.
The two nurses handled my junk like pro's (wait that didn't come out right...they handled my junk like disinterested pro's...no wait...they acted like nurses yeah...that's it).
The Mexican nurse and I talked about my time working for a coroners office and the black nurse and I talked about the virtues of old country music and the relative evils of modern country.
The Dr. lifted my little white napkin sheet and said to the room at large "Those are some large testicles".
I shit you not kids.
The nurses looked over and nodded. Then they got down to business.
I took six shots of lidocaine. It took twenty minutes of pure testicular mutilation. It was glorious. The Dr. didn't mind me putting a pillow behind me so I could lean up and see the action.
He found fatty tissue around my cords...its not unique but now I can literally tell chicks to "Come on over and suck on my PHAT balls". (Except I'm not big on Ball Sucking...so nevermind...scratch that one ladies).
In the after math of my "Procedure". I've gotten to know an Ice pack or two more than anyone should ever get to know an Ice pack. But the pain was nothing...minimal...a few hours of that just post kicked in the crotch gut pain and I was off and running.
Five days later and I'm feeling just fine and I'll never look back.
(Those of you who know me well know my long and ugly story about the trouble my dick has gotten me into in the past and you'll understand and support how fucking THRILLED I am about never having to worry about that shit ever again).
So yeah...guys...if you don't want kids...DO IT. It's Empty tested and Empty Approved.
P.S. For those of you (all two of you) who have wondered why I don't post Covenant here anymore. Check me out here.
http://avantepunk.deviantart.com/
JUNE 2012
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
MAY 2012
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
APRIL 2012
MARCH 2012
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31