I just read an article about how the traditional concept of dating is obsolete, and everyone is all up in arms about it and I feel like I’m the only one sitting here thinking that it’s a good thing.
Most first dates are awkward. I can usually tell whether or not I’m going to vibe with someone within the first four seconds but by then it’s already too late, unless you have no shame and have no problem with just being like “uhhhhhhhhhh BYE” and running back onto the bus before it leaves.
I think the article is depressing because so many people want love, and love tends to look like nice fancy French restaurants and jewelry and “Iloveyouuuuu” but, because of financial and logistical constraints, my entire generation is barred from taking on a serious relationship as a... thing... they can do.
It’s not that people are afraid to love. It’s that we sort of can’t afford to date so the metaphorical relationship airplane can’t even take off.

I broke up with my boyfriend of eight years in September. I am 23 years old. I’m in a strange limbo between reveling in my succulent independence and reeling from the loss of having someone pressed up against me at night, who may not love me the way I want him to but loved me at all. Part of me misses that, and the other part of me likes getting fingered in public. So I’m at an odds.

I’ve had a problem with dating. Mainly because my original concept of dating was crafted by a generation of people who could afford dinner for two, while my generation can barely afford dinner for one. So I felt really fucking cheap when I could barely get a guy to take me out in public. But I think I sort of get it now, really. We’re all flailing. We all have no idea what we’re doing and we kind of think we want someone here but we’re freaked out about relationships because love seldom lasts forever and most relationships end and I am not a unique snowflake and my relationship is no different than your relationship or their...

I just read an article about how the traditional concept of dating is obsolete, and everyone is all up in arms about it and I feel like I’m the only one sitting here thinking that it’s a good thing.
Most first dates are awkward. I can usually tell whether or not I’m going to vibe with someone within the first four seconds but by then it’s already too late, unless you have no shame and have no problem with just being like “uhhhhhhhhhh BYE” and running back onto the bus before it leaves.
I think the article is depressing because so many people want love, and love tends to look like nice fancy French restaurants and jewelry and “Iloveyouuuuu” but, because of financial and logistical constraints, my entire generation is barred from taking on a serious relationship as a... thing... they can do.
It’s not that people are afraid to love. It’s that we sort of can’t afford to date so the metaphorical relationship airplane can’t even take off.

I broke up with my boyfriend of eight years in September. I am 23 years old. I’m in a strange limbo between reveling in my succulent independence and reeling from the loss of having someone pressed up against me at night, who may not love me the way I want him to but loved me at all. Part of me misses that, and the other part of me likes getting fingered in public. So I’m at an odds.

I’ve had a problem with dating. Mainly because my original concept of dating was crafted by a generation of people who could afford dinner for two, while my generation can barely afford dinner for one. So I felt really fucking cheap when I could barely get a guy to take me out in public. But I think I sort of get it now, really. We’re all flailing. We all have no idea what we’re doing and we kind of think we want someone here but we’re freaked out about relationships because love seldom lasts forever and most relationships end and I am not a unique snowflake and my relationship is no different than your relationship or their relationship even though we talk about film and art and they talk about what happened on Teen Mom last week (is that even still on?)

I’m wondering why I want love. I’m wondering why I feel like I require someone to want me around. Shouldn’t I be whole, alone? I feel like when my Mother’s first marriage ended, when she was in her late 20s, she was broken and confused and lost and didn’t know where to go or how to handle herself and all she thought was that if she ever has a daughter, she would never put herself in a situation in which she was ever alone with herself and had to face that she didn’t know who she was, or how to deal. And I was there. I am there. I have little personal identity, but I’m working on it. My Mother eventually picked herself up by her boot straps and gained independence and found happiness on her own. She was happy.
And then she met my Father. They were at a party and everyone was doing coke, and they were the only people who didn’t like coke. It was snowing outside so they decided to take a walk in it. They didn’t even notice the narrative quality of this until I pointed it out to them. Nevertheless, they fell in love, after they had found themselves. And I think that I’m willing to work on myself for as long as I need to, to make having anyone even want to be around me, a possibility. Because I feel like the only people I attract now are people who just want to fuck me, and people who just want anyone and they think I’ll save them.
I want a love like my parents. But I know that the universe does not owe me love or companionship or any of those things. And I’m starting to think that’s okay. It’s initially depressing, of course. Like waking up for work at 3 AM. Your alarm goes off and you go "uuuUUGHHHHhhhhhh" and then you just accept it and put your makeup on and get on the fucking bus because you have to go to fucking work. You just accept it.
I’m not dismissing the possibility, but I’m accepting the reality that it’s not promised to me.

Okay thanks for listening.