age: 38 (May 12, 1975)

MEMBER SINCE: February 2005

occupation: Minister of Information formerly Grand Marshal of the Blackberry Parade

stats: Fat Fuck

sign: CH3NO2

heroes: Rev. Marlon G. Loftis

into: Inked chicks, culinary foreplay, actual foreplay, takin' pitchers, rollin' in my RV

most humbling moment: Every time I look in a mirror

makes me happy: Exit row seats, bourbon on ice, Little Wing, Sky Mall, October in Amsterdam, road trips, I love the smell of Nitro in the morning

gets me hot: I have a fairly serious obsession with pocket-sized women. Unfortunately they never return the favor.

i lost my virginity: To a lovely young lady who was later considered a person of interest in a murder case. God I miss her.

makes me sad: hangovers, carpal tunnel, GOP

fantasy: Happily ever after