Here is Better Than Nowhere
Let me tell you about my trip to Denver. Well, my trip almost to Denver.
I was supposed to be in Denver from the 20th through the 28th, visiting friends. It was gonna be awesome -- everyone that had left Denver was gonna be in town on basicaly the same dates. I was had been so psyched for it. In addition, on Christmas day, I was going up to Estes Park with my parents.
It all started at about 2:30am, Tuesday night. I had gone to bed at 1:30am, with my alarm set for 3:30am, to catch a flight that left from ERW (Newark Airport, for those of you not in the NYC area) at 7:30.
My phone rang, waking me up, at about 2:30 (I think). It was Orbitz calling (a recording) to tell me my flight was canceled, and thank you for using Orbitz.com. Huh?? Canceled? Whatever. I'll deal with it when I wake up.
3:45, I crawl out of bed. Well, I guess I'd better call United. Sat on hold for an hour-and-a-half. Listening to Rhapsody in Blue (the Gershwin tune United appropriated as their theme back when I was a kid), again and again and again and again and again and again and....
Indeed, my flight had been canceled, due to blizzard warnings in Denver. By now it was 5:45. There was a non-stop flight leaving from LGA at 8:00 that they could get me on if I could make it, or a flight that left the next afternoon and had two stops. Everything else was booked up. Fuck it, I said, grabbed my bags (forgetting to pack the power adapter for my powerbook), called a car, kissed my girlfriend, and ran out the door.
Made the flight, and everything was ok.
...Until about half-way, when I hear the captain announce that, due to a blizzard in Denver, they cannot land, and will be re-routing us to Chicago O'Hare.
Fuck. You've gotta be kidding me.
We all get off the plane, and are instructed to go speak with the Customer Service desk, located between gates C18 and C19. We walk out onto the concourse, and see the line. it stretched more than three gates down the concourse. A lady from my plane walked the length of it and counted: 150-some people in front of us. And it wasn't moving. After about an hour in that line (it never moved), the started making some announcements, and, craving a cigarette, decided that there was nothing I could do there that I couldn't do from the front desk, outside of security where I could go out to smoke.
I spent most of Wednesday in O'Hare. Waiting in lines, waiting on hold, waiting, waiting, waiting. Everything going into and out of DIA had been canceled for the day, and, at that point in time, they were saying that every flight to DIA was booked solid through the 27th. I was supposed to return the 28th. I got on standby for a flight the next day. Then that flight cot canceled. So I got on standby for another flight the next day. Then that flight got canceled.
At some point I called my parents, only to find out that my Dad was actually in Chicago on business, and was supposed to fly home the next day (Thursday). I eventually got in touch with him, and decided to crash at his hotel room for the night. (a nice room at a very nice Hilton, paid for by your (and my) tax dollars. Fuck Santa, thank YOU, Uncle Sam.)
I went to the hotel and was passed out by 9:00pm.
The next morning, it was clear that neither of us were flying that day. DIA was closed with no word when it would be opened. 5000 people were stranded at DIA, with who knows how many thousands stranded at other airports. (In a strange trick of nature, apparently Heathrow in London was also closed, due to fog, with thousands stranded there -- so many that they apparently had to set up tents outside the airport.) Denver had two feet of snow. Longmont, CO, (a little North of Denver), had gotten 36 inches in 24 hours. Estes Park, where I was supposed to go with my parents, had gotten 53 inches of snow in one day. You read that right: fifty-three fucking inches of snow in one day.
And it was still snowing.
So between hour-long hold times with United (Rhapsody in Blue again and again and again and...), my Dad and I had a pretty good day. Got some good food, got a power adapter for my powerbook, and spent the afternoon at the Art Institute of Chicago, which proved to be as good a museum as I had always heard.
By 7:00 (I think), after lots of calls, some research online, and looking into every possible option I could think of, I saw four options:
Option 1: United could get me on a flight to Denver on the 25th. That would mean three days in Chicago, in order to get only two days in Denver. Didn't sound like a good time.
Option 2: Standby. Well, I could fly standby, but knowing that all the flights until the 25th were booked solid, and that there were a few thousand other people considering flying standby, that didn't sound like a very realistic option.
Option 3: Rent a car and drive. Theoretically, the 18-ish hour drive could have gotten me into Denver the evening of the 23rd. Not a bad idea... I thought. Turned out that for some unknown reason, drop-off fees for rentals from Chicago to Denver right then were through the roof. I checked a bunch of different companies, and everything was about $66/day, but after the drop-off fee, totals ranged from $450-$550 -- just for the car. Ouch. So with that, plus gas and a hotel room for one night, I would have been looking at probably around $700 to get to Denver. In addition to the cost, all the highways in Colorado were closed, and Nebraska had been hit with a nasty ice storm, and, according to CNN, the whole state was pretty much a sheet of ice. So what should have been an 18-hour drive at 70-80mph could easily have become a 20-30 hour drive, going 30mph on icy roads in the middle of nowhere, Nebraska. Not my idea of a good time. So that was out.
Option 4: United could get me on a flight back to LGA the next morning.
Fuck.
The only option that made sense was to go home, which I really didn't want to do. I made a few phone calls, and reluctantly decided to go home.
(My dad, by the way, had arranged to drive home Saturday morning with his boss, who had driven a van out there to transport some supplies. Unfortunately, it was a government vehicle, and I was legally not allowed to be in the vehicle.)
Called United to change the ticket. After changing my ticket three times the day before, United suddenly tells me that they can't change it since I bought it through Orbitz, and I need to call Orbitz. So I call Orbitz. After holding for another hour with Orbitz, they tell me that they can't change my ticket, because United had already made changes to it. AARGH! I just want this to be OVER!!! The lady at Orbitz eventually comes back and says that she can "release" my ticket so that United can make changes. Whatever. Just do it.
Back on hold with United. Got on the flight. Then I got drunk. I met Mike. He runs a parking garage in Chicago. We talked about Harley Davidsons. He bought a girl a drink just to start shit with her boyfriend.
Flew home today without any issues. The flight was about 45 minutes late, but that was it.
So here I am. Back in Brooklyn, instead of being in Denver with all my friends. Instead, I'm gonna head down to PA tomorrow to spend Christmas with my girlfriend and her family. I get along fine with her parents and sister -- we'll see how it goes with the extended family. (I'm vegan. One of her uncles is an avid hunter. Could be interesting.)
So hey, here's to Denver. Here's to Chicago. Here's to everyone else whose holiday travel got fucked up. Here's to everyone buried in the snow in Colorado. And here's hoping that I actually get the half refund United says they'll give me.
Happy holidays, everyone.
Let me tell you about my trip to Denver. Well, my trip almost to Denver.
I was supposed to be in Denver from the 20th through the 28th, visiting friends. It was gonna be awesome -- everyone that had left Denver was gonna be in town on basicaly the same dates. I was had been so psyched for it. In addition, on Christmas day, I was going up to Estes Park with my parents.
It all started at about 2:30am, Tuesday night. I had gone to bed at 1:30am, with my alarm set for 3:30am, to catch a flight that left from ERW (Newark Airport, for those of you not in the NYC area) at 7:30.
My phone rang, waking me up, at about 2:30 (I think). It was Orbitz calling (a recording) to tell me my flight was canceled, and thank you for using Orbitz.com. Huh?? Canceled? Whatever. I'll deal with it when I wake up.
3:45, I crawl out of bed. Well, I guess I'd better call United. Sat on hold for an hour-and-a-half. Listening to Rhapsody in Blue (the Gershwin tune United appropriated as their theme back when I was a kid), again and again and again and again and again and again and....
Indeed, my flight had been canceled, due to blizzard warnings in Denver. By now it was 5:45. There was a non-stop flight leaving from LGA at 8:00 that they could get me on if I could make it, or a flight that left the next afternoon and had two stops. Everything else was booked up. Fuck it, I said, grabbed my bags (forgetting to pack the power adapter for my powerbook), called a car, kissed my girlfriend, and ran out the door.
Made the flight, and everything was ok.
...Until about half-way, when I hear the captain announce that, due to a blizzard in Denver, they cannot land, and will be re-routing us to Chicago O'Hare.
Fuck. You've gotta be kidding me.
We all get off the plane, and are instructed to go speak with the Customer Service desk, located between gates C18 and C19. We walk out onto the concourse, and see the line. it stretched more than three gates down the concourse. A lady from my plane walked the length of it and counted: 150-some people in front of us. And it wasn't moving. After about an hour in that line (it never moved), the started making some announcements, and, craving a cigarette, decided that there was nothing I could do there that I couldn't do from the front desk, outside of security where I could go out to smoke.
I spent most of Wednesday in O'Hare. Waiting in lines, waiting on hold, waiting, waiting, waiting. Everything going into and out of DIA had been canceled for the day, and, at that point in time, they were saying that every flight to DIA was booked solid through the 27th. I was supposed to return the 28th. I got on standby for a flight the next day. Then that flight cot canceled. So I got on standby for another flight the next day. Then that flight got canceled.
At some point I called my parents, only to find out that my Dad was actually in Chicago on business, and was supposed to fly home the next day (Thursday). I eventually got in touch with him, and decided to crash at his hotel room for the night. (a nice room at a very nice Hilton, paid for by your (and my) tax dollars. Fuck Santa, thank YOU, Uncle Sam.)
I went to the hotel and was passed out by 9:00pm.
The next morning, it was clear that neither of us were flying that day. DIA was closed with no word when it would be opened. 5000 people were stranded at DIA, with who knows how many thousands stranded at other airports. (In a strange trick of nature, apparently Heathrow in London was also closed, due to fog, with thousands stranded there -- so many that they apparently had to set up tents outside the airport.) Denver had two feet of snow. Longmont, CO, (a little North of Denver), had gotten 36 inches in 24 hours. Estes Park, where I was supposed to go with my parents, had gotten 53 inches of snow in one day. You read that right: fifty-three fucking inches of snow in one day.
And it was still snowing.
So between hour-long hold times with United (Rhapsody in Blue again and again and again and...), my Dad and I had a pretty good day. Got some good food, got a power adapter for my powerbook, and spent the afternoon at the Art Institute of Chicago, which proved to be as good a museum as I had always heard.
By 7:00 (I think), after lots of calls, some research online, and looking into every possible option I could think of, I saw four options:
Option 1: United could get me on a flight to Denver on the 25th. That would mean three days in Chicago, in order to get only two days in Denver. Didn't sound like a good time.
Option 2: Standby. Well, I could fly standby, but knowing that all the flights until the 25th were booked solid, and that there were a few thousand other people considering flying standby, that didn't sound like a very realistic option.
Option 3: Rent a car and drive. Theoretically, the 18-ish hour drive could have gotten me into Denver the evening of the 23rd. Not a bad idea... I thought. Turned out that for some unknown reason, drop-off fees for rentals from Chicago to Denver right then were through the roof. I checked a bunch of different companies, and everything was about $66/day, but after the drop-off fee, totals ranged from $450-$550 -- just for the car. Ouch. So with that, plus gas and a hotel room for one night, I would have been looking at probably around $700 to get to Denver. In addition to the cost, all the highways in Colorado were closed, and Nebraska had been hit with a nasty ice storm, and, according to CNN, the whole state was pretty much a sheet of ice. So what should have been an 18-hour drive at 70-80mph could easily have become a 20-30 hour drive, going 30mph on icy roads in the middle of nowhere, Nebraska. Not my idea of a good time. So that was out.
Option 4: United could get me on a flight back to LGA the next morning.
Fuck.
The only option that made sense was to go home, which I really didn't want to do. I made a few phone calls, and reluctantly decided to go home.
(My dad, by the way, had arranged to drive home Saturday morning with his boss, who had driven a van out there to transport some supplies. Unfortunately, it was a government vehicle, and I was legally not allowed to be in the vehicle.)
Called United to change the ticket. After changing my ticket three times the day before, United suddenly tells me that they can't change it since I bought it through Orbitz, and I need to call Orbitz. So I call Orbitz. After holding for another hour with Orbitz, they tell me that they can't change my ticket, because United had already made changes to it. AARGH! I just want this to be OVER!!! The lady at Orbitz eventually comes back and says that she can "release" my ticket so that United can make changes. Whatever. Just do it.
Back on hold with United. Got on the flight. Then I got drunk. I met Mike. He runs a parking garage in Chicago. We talked about Harley Davidsons. He bought a girl a drink just to start shit with her boyfriend.
Flew home today without any issues. The flight was about 45 minutes late, but that was it.
So here I am. Back in Brooklyn, instead of being in Denver with all my friends. Instead, I'm gonna head down to PA tomorrow to spend Christmas with my girlfriend and her family. I get along fine with her parents and sister -- we'll see how it goes with the extended family. (I'm vegan. One of her uncles is an avid hunter. Could be interesting.)
So hey, here's to Denver. Here's to Chicago. Here's to everyone else whose holiday travel got fucked up. Here's to everyone buried in the snow in Colorado. And here's hoping that I actually get the half refund United says they'll give me.
Happy holidays, everyone.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
Merry belated X-mas, tho.