Today, I feel as precarious as this:



I hope no one kicks the chair out from under me.

one. Wondering whether I should bother with the remastered Beatles albums coming out if I already have them on dusty old vinyl. And if so, whether I should go with the stereo or mono versions.

two. Obama's speech tonight was pretty amazing.

three. I need new sneakers.

i saw a former suicidegirl at a vintage clothing store today. she was so beautiful in person, and had such a sweet and pretty voice, too. i was all starry eyed inside. she made me swoon.

it is beautiful out, the warm sun making your lovely, light brown eyes squint, bringing a warm smile across your otherwise pouty lips. your cotton skirt billowing in the breeze over your tender, delicate legs; legs that once intertwined with mine. but no longer. now you are free, and light, and gliding across the freshly cut grass, gentile clouds decorating the breezy blue sky behind you. your flowing, black hair becoming one with them. and you are free. and beautiful. and you glow like never before. and i'm happy for you. because as much as i loved you, and love you, and will continue to love you, and know that we, the us we once were, i know it caused friction and tension and negative energy. and something happened to the perfect it we once were. and a shadow cast over our lingering dust. and the smiles vanished, grew tired, exhausted themselves. but no longer, for you are free. free to dance under this brilliant sun; to close your eyes and feel its warmth caress your entire being. and you are not alone. for i think of you often. and i'm happy of where you are inside. because i love you.

everything is alive, and everything is sort of adorable.

last night, i dreamed i dreamed. and i awoke three different times from within these dreamed dreams without actually waking up, but simply waking up into another layer of my dreams. and when i finally did wake up under my white covers and billowing curtains, i pinched my arm just to make sure. then the alarm went off and i hit snooze.

the news disgusts me to no end. it bothers me that i'm not in a position to help more. i turn off the tele, turn on the radio, surf the net, email friends, look at nekkid pictures of lovely suicide girls, get distracted by the everyday, forget about those suffering, forget about the big elephant in the middle of the room, forget about humanity, fall to minute selfishness of my own shit. and i'm ok with it. sort of.

so i was away from sg for quite a while. it's nice to see that some of my favorite models have new sets. how exciting.

photographs i wish i could add to my favorite pictures list:

it's funny when you go to a show, and you look down at the floor to find that every single person around you is wearing the same pair of sneakers you are. and you think, "we all have peter pan syndrome."