age: 38 (Jun 23, 1973)

MEMBER SINCE: February 2003

occupation: Liberal media conspirator

sign: stop

stats: Fucking Cartman

body mods: none that I regret

makes me sad: see crush

crush: Lives in Serbia

gets me hot: see vices, oral sex with a girl in a g-string, "petite" girls, control and lack there of, watching her read, fucking in the kitchen, panties, pain,

i lost my virginity: on the dining room floor...Mom told me she was glad to get rid of the stains when she changed the carpet

makes me happy: see vices

fantasy: see crush....

most humbling moment: striking out at the little league world series in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded...we lost...the series