The past several weeks spent in the workplace have yielded a terribly ambiguous state of being in regards to my job security. On one hand I feel as though I am being put to the test, my bosses wondering if I'm in the right place to take a promotion as a sous chef; previous experiences with former associates, who are in the same circle of professional contacts as my current employers, have resulted in poor decisions and actions on my part and contributed to a certain degree toward my current ill repute. Still, at the best times I feel encouraged, supported, and driven by my chefs and co- workers. There is more responsibility, better pay, and the opportunity to be a part of a robustly thriving company in the fine dining arena should the possibility of my promotion be realized.
On the other hand I often get the sensation that I am genuinely hated by most of the staff, and on occasion by the very superiors who seek to bring me up, tolerated out of necessity, kept at arms reach so I can be terminated upon the hiring of a suitable replacement. My arrested-ly developed, fickle 23 year old mind feels as though it is constantly walking a very thin line between a bright future as a fine dining chef, a life of working my fingers to the bone for a taste of glory; or failure, a relapse into darkness, drugs, foul deeds, drama and inevitably, doom.
I've hit my usual three month slump. The duration of my having worked at Aziza I've been on a split schedule- my days off are Tuesdays, the day the restaurant is closed, and Thursdays. It's been easy enough, just banging it out Wednesdays to make it through, but it is tiring. Most other members of the kitchen are getting two consecutive days to live their lives, enjoy some time to themselves and return refreshed for a solid work week. So next week I've requested an extra day and have planned to take a short trip to LA. I'll be collecting material possessions and catching up with some old friends. I'm definitely looking forward to some time away from the hustle.
So time will tell. Perhaps my characteristically cruel and mischievous chefs are merely toying with me and I am exactly in the place I currently reside, work wise. Hopefully, I am being considered for financial compensation based on my performance and I will in turn get the hint to step up for a promotion. Or perhaps I'm about to be fucking shitcanned. Hell, that might even turn out to be a boon- for as neat as the food is that I'm preparing, it certainly ain't making my personal life any easier. I've been seriously considering picking up a scale and a ounce and making some real cash, trife style... But let's just hope it doesn't come to that.
On the other hand I often get the sensation that I am genuinely hated by most of the staff, and on occasion by the very superiors who seek to bring me up, tolerated out of necessity, kept at arms reach so I can be terminated upon the hiring of a suitable replacement. My arrested-ly developed, fickle 23 year old mind feels as though it is constantly walking a very thin line between a bright future as a fine dining chef, a life of working my fingers to the bone for a taste of glory; or failure, a relapse into darkness, drugs, foul deeds, drama and inevitably, doom.
I've hit my usual three month slump. The duration of my having worked at Aziza I've been on a split schedule- my days off are Tuesdays, the day the restaurant is closed, and Thursdays. It's been easy enough, just banging it out Wednesdays to make it through, but it is tiring. Most other members of the kitchen are getting two consecutive days to live their lives, enjoy some time to themselves and return refreshed for a solid work week. So next week I've requested an extra day and have planned to take a short trip to LA. I'll be collecting material possessions and catching up with some old friends. I'm definitely looking forward to some time away from the hustle.
So time will tell. Perhaps my characteristically cruel and mischievous chefs are merely toying with me and I am exactly in the place I currently reside, work wise. Hopefully, I am being considered for financial compensation based on my performance and I will in turn get the hint to step up for a promotion. Or perhaps I'm about to be fucking shitcanned. Hell, that might even turn out to be a boon- for as neat as the food is that I'm preparing, it certainly ain't making my personal life any easier. I've been seriously considering picking up a scale and a ounce and making some real cash, trife style... But let's just hope it doesn't come to that.