There is a lot of research on the many pressures that keep women in abusive relationships. It is not those women who are perpetuating the violence, it is the men who abuse them. It may be frustrating to watch women stay in emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive relationships, but it is not because they are weak or too stubborn to leave. It is because of a lot of things that women are taught: that when we are abused it's "our" fault, that there is no such thing as emotional abuse, that dominant men are just "possesive", that we should give men another chance, that if they love us they'll change, and on and on and on.
On the outside it does seem like women in abusive relationships should just leave, that they are being weak. But it is not that easy and it's never that simple. A lot of women have to fear being killed if they leave. The legal system is not exactly supportive when it suggests only "restraining orders" for men who have hurt their girlfriends or wives. Restraining orders will not help. There is a cycle of violence and it may seem that it would be broken if only women would leave, but that wouldn't stop it. Men need to be taught that violence in a relationship is never okay. Men AND women need to be taught that. But I think you need to understand what is behind the fact that women will stay in abusive relationships. It's not them being weak...it's them following years of brainwashing.
And on the friends note, often a friend will be indignant, but telling your friend that her boyfriend is an asshole means losing your friend. Many women won't decide to say something until the abuse is pretty bad and often by then it's too late, the girl has already emmeshed herself in the relationship and will not leave at the advice of a friend. It WOULD be better if friends would point out early on abusive patterns, but, again, it's years of society keeping many women from doing so.
On the outside it does seem like women in abusive relationships should just leave, that they are being weak. But it is not that easy and it's never that simple. A lot of women have to fear being killed if they leave. The legal system is not exactly supportive when it suggests only "restraining orders" for men who have hurt their girlfriends or wives. Restraining orders will not help. There is a cycle of violence and it may seem that it would be broken if only women would leave, but that wouldn't stop it. Men need to be taught that violence in a relationship is never okay. Men AND women need to be taught that. But I think you need to understand what is behind the fact that women will stay in abusive relationships. It's not them being weak...it's them following years of brainwashing.
And on the friends note, often a friend will be indignant, but telling your friend that her boyfriend is an asshole means losing your friend. Many women won't decide to say something until the abuse is pretty bad and often by then it's too late, the girl has already emmeshed herself in the relationship and will not leave at the advice of a friend. It WOULD be better if friends would point out early on abusive patterns, but, again, it's years of society keeping many women from doing so.