So we just saw David Fincher's Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Don't ask where.



WOW Right?

Now I've seen the swedish originals because subtitles don't scare me and the rest of the world makes good movies too, and I love them. LOVE them. Gritty, compelling, sexy, fucked, etc etc.

So when I heard they were being remade




Frankly I still don't know how I feel about it...

YES it had all of David Fincher's classics. Gritty scenery, fast pans, depravity.

YES Rooney Mara is amazing as lisbeth. She makes it all her own and you're too enthralled to compare.

YES Trent Reznor's music is awesome

YES the story is even a little sharper and tighter in like, 2 places.

YES I like Daniel Craig as Mikael

But with each passing thought all that is washed away by two problems so glaring, so annoying, so grating that I...cant....like...this movie....

When I tried to make myself FEEL better about finchers american version, I deduced it would be an american version. I figured to mimic the white sheen of sweden in winter, it would be set on some New England-esque, northeastern island. Where old money, prejudice and blanket snows really DO exist!

"A TRUE AMERICAN GOTHIC TALE" I rejoiced. All set in the world of fincher melodically plotted with Reznor. It gets to where I am almost excited. And then...

It's. Set. In. Sweden...


The movie is set in the exact same place as its namesake! EXCEPT instead of in swedish, as you would expect swedes to speak (hahahahahaiknowrightitssillytotally) Almost everyone is taking with a stupid, grating, gnawing, eye rollingly bad "swedish" accent!



WHY would you even bother doing it! WHY would you not guess that We would know that swedes probably don't all talk like gay robots. WHY put it in the same goddamn place to the same plot with the same characters just to listen to american actors all talk like shitty germans! The only one who doesn't even bother is Daniel Craig, who i'm sure was like, "Yeah fuck that you all sound stupid."

Fincher takes a perfect opportunity to make a uniquely american movie about our own dark past hiding behind the crumbling mansions of waning dynasties, and instead, idk, accidentally hires the originals location guy? Forgot what remake meant? WANTED the movie to cost more? No wonder the fucking thing cost 90 Million! Do you have Any idea what the dollar is worth overseas right now? You could have done that same movie in the states for 35 tops.

*SIGH* but I digress. (Especially since orginally american producers wanted it to be REALLY american and cast scarlett johanssen as lisbeth, have her be an antisocial biker chick on a harley, and call it the girl with the tribal tattoo. I'm not kidding. Even hearing me say it in my head makes me quiver and nauseous )

Ultimately accents and locale only go to aesthetic. Lets talk about story.


Oh yeah, SPOILERS or whatever.

Now in the original Martin Vangar is, on the surface, supportive of Mikael's hiring to find his sisters killer, but in reality, when he realizes Mikael is looking into other murders HE committed, he tries to maim/scare/kill Martin by taking a shot at him in the woods. When Mikael lives, Martin plays concerned and keeps pretending to be helpful, UNTIL Mikael finds evidence that will eventually lead to Martin, SO THATS when Martin DECIDES to kill Mikael in his basement of horrors. K? Good? Great.

Now for some reaason, Fincher finds this not confusing enough? So he "fixes" it.

In HIS version, Mikael finds out that Martin did it and goes to Martins house to snoop. Martin catches Mikael outside his house and MIkael is allSUP BUDDY!

But Martin is suspicious so he lures Mikael BACK in, pulls a gun and takes him to his basement of horrors, where he ADMITS to INTENTIONALLY missing Mikael when shooting at him.

Now watch this.

Mikael goes "WELL IT DIDN'T WORK, IM HERE" (thinking Martin shot at him to scare him away)

BUT THEN MARTIN GOES

"IT DID WORK. YOU'RE HERE."

.....wait......what?

If you wanted to lure him to your house to kill him this whole time, why not do it the other times he was over, or any of the times you could have just been like, "Hey dude comer over." Back when he totally trusted you? Also why admit to wanting to always kill him, if you just now found out he even knew anything about it? Why did you want to kill him at all? Thats never asked or explained. Just that Martin only kills girls, but is gonna kill Mikael, and he didnt intend to, but always meant to. Apparantly. Then IT GETS WORSE. Martin gets all crazy when he thinks Mikael found out who really killed his sister, Like he really DID want Mikael to find out who did it, but earlier asks Mikael why he didn't just go home! Like he not only never meant to kill him but then obviously NOT find out who killed his sister?

Like the earwig in Beastmaster, This entire portion of the film, will literally, EAT YOUR BRAIN ALIVE.

I am down to just enough gray matter to finish this post. By tomorrow I will no doubt be a drooling simpleton, all thanks to this goddamn movie.

In closing, Don't remake amazing, two year old foreign films. But if you absolutely must, then work harder at it. Otherwise just quit bitching and read the fucking subtitles.

hmmm what to do with this new year....

Fought a neo-nazi

bought a car

went to 3 film festivals

2 conventions

8 raves

4 roadtrips

more shows than I can count

met elvira

went to prb AND vlv

kissed nikki about 80,000 times

moved twice

and cut my hair just once.

fairly uneventful but not bad, lets see what the next year has in store. =)

SO it was my dear friends birthday and because its boring to just put Happy Birthday in a card, I wrote this.

There once was a girl named Nakita
With a naughty tattoo of a cheetah
I asked, "I wanna see!"
They said, "well that's easy!"
"Just buy her a third Margarita!"


Needless to say, her boyfriend was displeased. XD


Well this time I am going to try my very best to not ignore this place. Time flies when things happen. Moving, strokes, death, new jobs, plans, changing of those plans because life can be an asshole like that, adventures, and truths. The one thing I have learned since this summer is to never settle, or lose yourself for the approval of others, and letting things go is totally worth it. <3

Love and Rockets,

Sir Davey Von Sockrocker III Esq.

My mom used to tell me, "be nice to the neighbor girl Lindsey, because one day she will be gorgeous." To wit, I replied, "eeewwwwwww, shes gross and annoying!" All these years later, after last night, I am kicking myseeeeellf. For the record, she started it when she chased me around the block with dog poo on a stick. I mean seriously, wtf?! The worst part is admitting my mom was ever right. -_O~

Whats going on hmmmmmm...

Lots of packing and selling and shit.

I saw toy story 3 yesterday. No wonder the care bears refused to be in it. That lotso bear is a fucking asshole.

i just realized my birthday is in two weeks. I dont know if im excited or that sucks.

my crush on an SG has grown. I should tell her before i leave?

thats all. ^_^

SIX THINGS YOU WILL FIND IN YOUR ROOM:
1. mirrors
2. mirrors
3. large clock
4. eek the cat stuffed toy
5. shoes
6. a trapper keeper
7. more mirrors.

SIX RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS:
1. Do you like anyone? quite
2. Does someone like you? many people love me
3. Last kiss? that's not a question. i don't even know how to answer that.
4. Been lead on? umm idk
5. Been cheated on? yea
6. Want a relationship? yea but not with like someone lame, like umm reese witherspoon. she seems like a snob.
7. Wanna get married? eehh

SIX THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:
1. air
2. water
3. food
4. books
5. music
6. my penis

SEVEN THINGS ON YOUR MIND:
1. i need money
2. the house i want costs too much
3. why the fuck does sf have to cost so fucking much.
4. fucking housing boom ruined everything
5. god i hate those condo building fuckers, they are ruining the city.
6. I should do something to make it easier for people to live
7. my hair looks nice

SEVEN OTHER THINGS - DO YOU:
1. Believe in God? i believe in lots of gods. I'm not picky.
2. Had a dream come true? yes
3. Read the newspaper? eeh a digital newspaper...
4. Pray? i always get my hands wrong. APPARENTLY god doesn't like gang signs.
5. Have a best friend? several who fight for my attention...in a cage...TO THE DEATH!!
6. Play guitar? no i play drums.
7. Wish on stars? hard to see stars under city lights.

SEVEN HAVE YOU EVERS:
1. Fallen in love? sure
2. Kissed someone of the same sex? does davey havok's poster count? and by kissing do you mean dry hump for an hour? If so then yes. MULTIPLE times.
3. Hooked up with someone who had a gf/bf? she didn't tell me until after. i was annoyed.
4. Been to a Bonfire? several
5. Ran away from home? twice.
6. Played strip poker? yes.
7. Pulled an all nighter? many times.

SEVEN THINGS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU:
1. Cried? no
2. Had fun? yes
3. Been kissed? yes
4. Felt stupid? no
5.Talked to an ex? yes
6. Missed someone? everyday for a little while now
7. Had Sex? ooooh look at the time, goodnight!

In all of my recent hecticnastosity i finally saw alice in wonderland and let me just say, it was a piece of shit. As much as i appreciate public domain laws, i equally despise them because then crap gets made where a sequel is produced to an amazing piece of nonsense fiction thats nothing more than boring political garbage. BUT some good came out of it. So pissed was I by that pile, I dwelved into some carroll so as to wash the stink of that movie off and I just decided to write a piece of nonsense poetry myself. Unfortunately because, I guess im not crazy and somewhat of a pervert? What came out what this limerick. So, saddened as I was by the fact that im not mad, I still enjoyed what i did make. I hope you do too.

There is a story that I now am wanting to reflect
about a time when i decided not to genuflect

there was a gorgeous woman who demanded this of me
I stood defiant and said plainly it was not to be

she was aghast by this bold news and cursed my obtuse will
but me being the cad I am, I stayed perfectly still

I said, "you're not a princess, duchess, nor are you a queen",
"Why would I pay you the respect deemed just for royalty?"

She replied, "for I'm a lady and you should treat me just",
"and if you want to share my bed, well then, do this you must."

I thought a bit and figured that the trade was more than fair
until I took her home and found that shes a boy down there!

I thought of the first two lines while bored driving and it reminded me of like Coleridge and other romantic movement stuff. So I wrote while driving til I liked it. Alright I'm late for punk speed trials at Gilman. <3



avast ye mateys, listen well
for the oceans break with a mighty swell

the waves, they twist from the forceful tide
as did before when brave men died

tis' treacherous, dark and sure to kill
but i shall venture on it still

cuz no matter what, tis' where ill be
for the open sea, does call to me.