If I throw a ball at the ground it will bounce back up for me to catch. I know this will happen. I may do it because I genuinely enjoy the activity but I may also be doing it because it is comfortable. I can predict every movement and in some way knowing the outcome is satisfying. While I want to throw the ball in a different direction what may happen next is scary. Maybe I will be hurt or I could lose my ball. Perhaps I could even hurt someone else.
I have to wonder though if I'm not already hurting myself by being self contained, finding joy in an activity that holds no risk to anyone including me.
Clearly the only choice is to close my eyes and throw as hard as I can.