I've been doing a bit of soul searching of late. Trying to figure out where I stand spiritually and if my beliefs can be nicely packaged into some religion. I always used to fall back to Paganism but then my view on what that really is seems to be a lot different to what most Pagans believe. Or at least that's what I can tell from the flakey rubbish I've read over the years.

I went to a Pagan festival in Washington last year with my significant other and a handful of her friends who were all involved. And although it was a nice retreat away from society, it really didn't have me convinced that these people knew what they were talking about. And the more I thought about the festival over the following months, the more annoyed I got with the whole experience. A group of LARPers going around dressed as wizards taking part in sex workshops, and sex rituals and laughing workshops and token making workshops. Yet nothing on agriculture. Or alternative living. Or trying to live in some sort of balance with the Earth. At one stage I was half part of a conversation that started when one of the church's members said she didn't understand vegetarians. It's one thing not to be one (and that's ok) but to not understand why some people choose this diet and then call themselves a Pagan was pretty hypercritical in my opinion. And then to keep prices down and to go along with their half-assed co-op living ideals, the kitchen was operated on a turn based system. Everyone at the festival had to put in an hour of work. Which resulted in a lot of under-cooked chicken and under prepared meals. I later found out that two years previous 20 festival goers suffered food poisoning. Yet the co-op kitchen continues.

In the end I just decided to leave it alone and think nothing more of it then another Pacific North-West twist on foreign culture. And in fairness, yes, I'm being a little more bitter about it then I could be but it still bugs me.

Moving on tho, I've slowly come around to quantum...

I've been doing a bit of soul searching of late. Trying to figure out where I stand spiritually and if my beliefs can be nicely packaged into some religion. I always used to fall back to Paganism but then my view on what that really is seems to be a lot different to what most Pagans believe. Or at least that's what I can tell from the flakey rubbish I've read over the years.

I went to a Pagan festival in Washington last year with my significant other and a handful of her friends who were all involved. And although it was a nice retreat away from society, it really didn't have me convinced that these people knew what they were talking about. And the more I thought about the festival over the following months, the more annoyed I got with the whole experience. A group of LARPers going around dressed as wizards taking part in sex workshops, and sex rituals and laughing workshops and token making workshops. Yet nothing on agriculture. Or alternative living. Or trying to live in some sort of balance with the Earth. At one stage I was half part of a conversation that started when one of the church's members said she didn't understand vegetarians. It's one thing not to be one (and that's ok) but to not understand why some people choose this diet and then call themselves a Pagan was pretty hypercritical in my opinion. And then to keep prices down and to go along with their half-assed co-op living ideals, the kitchen was operated on a turn based system. Everyone at the festival had to put in an hour of work. Which resulted in a lot of under-cooked chicken and under prepared meals. I later found out that two years previous 20 festival goers suffered food poisoning. Yet the co-op kitchen continues.

In the end I just decided to leave it alone and think nothing more of it then another Pacific North-West twist on foreign culture. And in fairness, yes, I'm being a little more bitter about it then I could be but it still bugs me.

Moving on tho, I've slowly come around to quantum mechanics. And only slowly because it's taking a long time to get my head around things like string theory.. which I still don't really get. But I'm happy with the way it's going. Just from my own experiences I know that there is something greater then what we can understand and I think it's a connection to this that we come around to calling it spirituality. And I guess I find comfort in knowing that if anything, it will be science that will make the links. Because I don't think I could accept anything else.





In other news I'll be leaving for Vancouver in 9 days. I can't believe it's actually happening. Something I've been looking forward to and planning for almost a year. There's still a lot of uncertainty with what I'll be doing in the near future. I'll just have to see how the next few weeks roll.