So today at work the most disgusting thing happened while I was on stage. This dude pulls out his ATM card and reaches to swipe it on my vag.

So, Friday night I did my tryouts for Club Skin and what I heard was that Celeste, the girl who runs a majority of it, said that I was born to do this type of dancing and so I got the job on the spot. :]
It wasn't at all as bad as I thought it would be and I hardly got scared up there on the stage but boy, oh boy was it a work out. Let's just say by the end of the night, I could hardly walk and the next day it was worse, I had bruises on my knees from crawling around. But hey, it was totally worth it and I had a lot of fun and I'm going to contine to do this. Which means, I'm really hoping you guys, my friends will come visit me.
I work up at Club Skin, which used to be Cloud 9 in Warrensburg. :] My stage name, of course is Kittie. So show me some love sometime and show up just for me.
It's 6 dollars to get in. I don't care if you don't throw cash up, or tip me, I would just like some friendly support! <333

've decided that I'm just not making enough to support myself at this temp assed job at Sprint. So, I'm going to be working [hopefully] as an exotic dancer at Club Skin. To answer some questions, YES I've wanted this for longer than you've known. This isn't an implusive idea, and I did a lot of talking with the boss so I'm coming in Friday to "try out". I'm nervous as hell, but this would be BIG for me, and I'd be making big money. Seeing as I love dressing up, and feel absolutely comfortable naked around others, I feel I can do this.
Say what you want, but I'm doing what I want. I won't change my mind. I'm pretty positive on what I'm doing. And some might think wrong of me, but honestly, this is how I see it:: I enjoy a lot of things that go with being a stripper. And although I have no experience, I'll learn. Call me a dirty, skanky, filthy whore, but you don't understand and I'm not going to go into details because I don't owe anyone an explaination.
I just want to.
:|

Amazing. I got kicked out for good.
I'm living with a friend :| But according to me, I'm at ground 0 right now.

Heh, I got a stalker.

In other news, this weekend was quite eventful. Gretchen and I spent the majority of the time looking for places to live and we found some very nice ones! We stayed up for 24 hours, which is no sleep. I believe I will never again do that to myself. I was such a zombie. I thought that I was going to kill myself and Gretchen, whilst driving in the car.

And I also got 5 drunken messages on my phone from Lee, which were to die for. They made me LOLOLOL. So I left him 6 messages on his phone, to get back at him. :] I thought it was pretty fun.

Asside from all that I'm physically and mentally exhausted.

I would die for a neck and shoulder massage. D':

It's only been a million years since I was here. I'm back now.

Things that have happened:

- Lee came back and has apologized for being an ass about certain things.
- We're going to do couple's counseling.
- At this point, I'm trying to look for places to move to, because I'm more than sick of living at home.

I will regain myself again. Whoever I really am. For 4 years the only thing I knew was life with him. Nothing else. And now that I am freed [which I don't think is exactly the word I think is appropriate but eh..] of this, I'm at a loss of what I should do with myself.

Does this mean I really wasn't my own person?

I was so blinded by the very thought of him, and my feelings for him, that I really could not imagine a life without him. Now I am forced to shut out any thougts of him, if I am at all able to.

He was everything in the world to me. My best friend, my confidant. I thought, really thought we'd grow and move on together. Not apart.

I'm facing the cold hard truth. Maybe I am not capable of a healthy relationship, of something wonderful. All I seem to be able to do is complicate things, and get naked.

Everyday is a constant struggle with myself. At times I'm angry, at myself, at him. At everything. At times I want to be able to think positive, to be hopeful of what may or may not be in my life. Mostly, I'm confused and comfortable numb. I'm still a broken record, doing things I know I shouldn't but do them anyway. I'm not entirely sure if I can break away. I guess I need some closure. Some fullfillment. Some something...

Ah fuck. My ass itches. -scratch-

I thought it was enough to say my feet smelt.
And now my hands literally smell of cuntjuice.

:]

In other news, how is everyone?