First, there's this <3:
Normal---as far as I'm concerned, that's just a setting on a washing machine. I did try being normal once--no, twice. Hated it both times. I don't even know what normal actually is; who the fuck decides that anyway? And for that matter, who the fuck decides what fashion trends/colors are IN this year, and which ones are now OUT?
Speaking of normal, did you know there was actually a book for kids called "Are You Normal?"? It's not a psych book, but maybe it should be. Look, I have a sense of humor and I get that the book is actually supposed to be this fun statistics thing with which kids can "test their weirdness" based on how they answer questions posed in the book. Questions about your favorite ice cream flavor, where you sit on the bus, if you like asparagus, etc.
Apparently the closer your answers are to the majority, the more "normal" you are. That's cute and all, but what's wrong with NOT being like the majority? Normal and perfect and behaving like just another sheep in the herd is safe. And it's boring. And being the opposite of normal is why we are all here on this site, isn't it?
I've had people tell me I'm "not normal" for several reasons, many of which simply had to do with me not sharing their interests or activities. Some of these reasons are below--a fair warning--these may (not) be shocking or (hardly) offensive!
1) I don't eat chicken wings. I also don't eat white pork (but I eat ham and bacon)...as far as I'm concerned, the only white meat is a grilled chicken breast.
2) I hate the following movies: The Hangover (all of them), Super Troopers, Superbad, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Sound of Music, and anything with Will Ferrell.
3) I love the movie Mannequin.
4) I'm a Steelers fan.
5) I have tattoos.
6) I'm obsessed with hedgehogs.
7) I'm in love with old VW bugs...not the stupid new ones. The old ones that made the adorable lawnmower noises and may or may not have been able to travel over 60mph.
8) I run.
9) I'd rather eat sour patch kids than chocolate.
10) I hate summer. I'd rather be cold.
So...am I normal? Are YOU normal? That depends, how do you feel about asparagus?