age: 32 (May 04, 1979)
MEMBER SINCE: June 2005
occupation: bringer of childhood joys.
body mods: 2 tattoos & piercings that have a mind of their own
sign: snorty snort snort.
heroes: I'd like to thank mom, dad and sister, Hunter Thompson and Nikki Sixx for raising me right.
crush: blessedly, no one.
makes me sad: everything else
into: tattoos, drawing, the ocean and all the critters contained therein, cooking and candlelight and cozy, ugly clothing.
stats: fluffy
gets me hot: I don't want to frighten you. You'll have to just find out on your own.
most humbling moment: So far, when I insulted Vince Neil to someone else practically in front of him and he called me on it...kind of. I still feel awful about that. What a bitch.My MOST humbling moment has not yet, and I pray will never happen.
i lost my virginity: to a total fucking dork. I want it back.
I love him so much. Really. Truly. Deeply. My day doesn't feel complete if he's not in it in at least some small capacity. This man has convinced me to try harder to believe in myself and humanity and God and the goodness of the entire universe. I like the world better when I'm with him and being with him makes it easier to love myself.
We would travel the world together. We would spoon on Saturday mornings and get a dog. I'd take care of him when he's down and keep him going when he's up. He'd smile at all my harebrained whims at least, and the only ones he wouldn't outright support would be the ones so harebrianed they're dangerous. He'd write me songs while I'd dream up his cover art. And 100 years into the future, after kids and life, we'd still come down to the cliffs together to talk about important things and watch the blue waves break until 2 in the morning, and be the embodiement of that Death Cab for Cutie song, "I will Follow You into the Dark".
I want to be healthier, because I want to be around longer to enjoy him. I want to breathe him in. I want to wrap his voice around me like a blanket. He makes me purr.
I haven't told him any of this. I want to sooo badly, and I don't feel like I can. He's my neighbor. And my friend. And the girls I've seen him with or interested in are stick figures while I....I am definitely not.
"No great things was ever acheived with a guaranee of success." I think FDR said that.
If I pour out my soul, I risk losing one of the best men I've ever had in my life. I risk rendering my residence a very unsettling and akward place to live. I risk being rejected and having it reinfoced yet again, that I am just too fat to love.
If I hold it back, I risk never having the love of my life in exchange for a wonderful, yet not-completely-fulfilling friendship. I have...
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fridaymourning