I FINALLY APPLIED TO BE AN SG!!
I'm trying really hard not to hyperventilate right now, as I'm so damn excited and nervous and anxious and excited....
This is a huge step for me. I've struggled for a long long time with body image issues and I still have them, but I'm finally beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin. I realize that I am the only one holding myself back, and I'll be damned if the things I want in life are kept away from me because of my own insecurities.
SO! To celebrate, how about some titties?!
and underboob...
random photo of meself...
more photos of myself to come later!! Perhaps I can persuade my love to take some SG worthy photos for later ...
wish me luck guys!!
I'm trying really hard not to hyperventilate right now, as I'm so damn excited and nervous and anxious and excited....
This is a huge step for me. I've struggled for a long long time with body image issues and I still have them, but I'm finally beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin. I realize that I am the only one holding myself back, and I'll be damned if the things I want in life are kept away from me because of my own insecurities.
SO! To celebrate, how about some titties?!
and underboob...
random photo of meself...
more photos of myself to come later!! Perhaps I can persuade my love to take some SG worthy photos for later ...
wish me luck guys!!
Hot damn it's been a while!!
There hasn't really been a whole lot going on... perhaps why there's been no blog action lately. What can I say, I lead a relatively boring life....
The Munchkin turned two, and she's become even more hilarious and ridiculous. She is my go-to entertainment every day. Also Chief, our mastiff puppy. He's the size of an 8 month old lab but he's barely 4 months old. Those two love to team up and destroy everything around them. Mainly my house. This is my exciting life.
I kinda fell off the wagon with working out and even eating right.... for like the last 2 weeks. It may not seem like much but when you're losing weight and trying to keep it going 2 weeks is FOREVER. It's long enough for any flexibility gained through yoga to disappear, and long enough for your body to go into sloth mode and all motivation to go out the window. While working out today all I could do was keep shouting FUCK!! and BALLS!!! while trying to keep my tempo and stick with poses that were getting easy for me and now are difficult as hell to go through. I ended up in a heap on the floor at the end of it feeling like I was dying, sweating my ass off and feeling disgusting because I could barely get through what was becoming an easy routine for me. My ending thought is that hopefully my 2 year old wont start shouting BALLS!! or FUCK!! because thats what mommy does when she's frustrated....
Also... Dreadlocks. I want them. I have a few going just to test the waters.... I'm thinking I may continue them and just let loose my full on hippie rebel and have the dreads I always wanted. Dearest Damsel Suicide is totally my dread head crush, I wish to someday have dreads as beautiful as hers.... we shall see if it is indeed in the cards...
Dread Lust:
Other than that, life at the cabin has been the same ol' same ol' every day nonsense. Winter doesn't seem to want to go away here. We're still waiting for the snow to melt and the air to be warm and the ground to thaw. We're at 19 hours of daylight now and THERE'S STILL SNOW. *sigh* my dreams of doing a set outdoors are dashed. While I can handle some cold, I definitely don't want to do it at 30 or 40 degrees outside.
Until next time... and hopefully next time will have LOTS of pictures.... <3 <3
There hasn't really been a whole lot going on... perhaps why there's been no blog action lately. What can I say, I lead a relatively boring life....
The Munchkin turned two, and she's become even more hilarious and ridiculous. She is my go-to entertainment every day. Also Chief, our mastiff puppy. He's the size of an 8 month old lab but he's barely 4 months old. Those two love to team up and destroy everything around them. Mainly my house. This is my exciting life.
I kinda fell off the wagon with working out and even eating right.... for like the last 2 weeks. It may not seem like much but when you're losing weight and trying to keep it going 2 weeks is FOREVER. It's long enough for any flexibility gained through yoga to disappear, and long enough for your body to go into sloth mode and all motivation to go out the window. While working out today all I could do was keep shouting FUCK!! and BALLS!!! while trying to keep my tempo and stick with poses that were getting easy for me and now are difficult as hell to go through. I ended up in a heap on the floor at the end of it feeling like I was dying, sweating my ass off and feeling disgusting because I could barely get through what was becoming an easy routine for me. My ending thought is that hopefully my 2 year old wont start shouting BALLS!! or FUCK!! because thats what mommy does when she's frustrated....
Also... Dreadlocks. I want them. I have a few going just to test the waters.... I'm thinking I may continue them and just let loose my full on hippie rebel and have the dreads I always wanted. Dearest Damsel Suicide is totally my dread head crush, I wish to someday have dreads as beautiful as hers.... we shall see if it is indeed in the cards...
Dread Lust:
Other than that, life at the cabin has been the same ol' same ol' every day nonsense. Winter doesn't seem to want to go away here. We're still waiting for the snow to melt and the air to be warm and the ground to thaw. We're at 19 hours of daylight now and THERE'S STILL SNOW. *sigh* my dreams of doing a set outdoors are dashed. While I can handle some cold, I definitely don't want to do it at 30 or 40 degrees outside.
Until next time... and hopefully next time will have LOTS of pictures.... <3 <3
So I'm addicted to thigh highs, and it's mostly because of suicide girls...
aren't they just fucking adorable/sexy?
I found an awesome site online with fantastic styles and amazing prices and free shipping and I can't seem to stop myself from buying more and more of them...
and because they're so amazing I've decided I need a new wardrobe so I can incorporate them into my every day life. which means dresses and skirts. all the time. Which pretty much goes against my natural desire for shorts and a hoodie. But thats okay, because I also bought these, which are the most comfortable things I've ever owned...
particularly when layered with hot pink leggings and the LBD. It was barely 10 degrees outside and windy as fuck but I was still toasty warm.
Which made me smile alot.
I miss my purple hair. Alot. Thank goodness I didn't go back to black right away or I'd never be able to bleach it out again successfully. I should be able to wash out my wine colored hair easily enough to dye it back to my electric purple. Although I think I'm feeling more Blue/Green. We shall see.....
OH, and since I've done all this promoting of thigh highs and the awesome site I get them from, I suppose a link is necessary : Sock Dream
In other news, I'm continuing to work out every day and bust my ass, and I'm constantly sore, but its okay because I'm working closer and closer to my goal. Which means that by June, I'll have my first set, and will have put in for Hopeful status. Annouk will be proud of me =) I love that girl so much, and everyone else should too. Every day she tells me I'm pretty, loves my photos on instagram, and encourages me to pursue my desire to be an SG. I wish I wish I WISH we weren't in opposite hemispheres. She is where it is warm and sunny and fantastic and I am, sadly, freezing my ass off in Alaska. Maybe one day we'll meet and swoon over each other in person and have crazy good times. =)
aren't they just fucking adorable/sexy?
I found an awesome site online with fantastic styles and amazing prices and free shipping and I can't seem to stop myself from buying more and more of them...
and because they're so amazing I've decided I need a new wardrobe so I can incorporate them into my every day life. which means dresses and skirts. all the time. Which pretty much goes against my natural desire for shorts and a hoodie. But thats okay, because I also bought these, which are the most comfortable things I've ever owned...
particularly when layered with hot pink leggings and the LBD. It was barely 10 degrees outside and windy as fuck but I was still toasty warm.
Which made me smile alot.
I miss my purple hair. Alot. Thank goodness I didn't go back to black right away or I'd never be able to bleach it out again successfully. I should be able to wash out my wine colored hair easily enough to dye it back to my electric purple. Although I think I'm feeling more Blue/Green. We shall see.....
OH, and since I've done all this promoting of thigh highs and the awesome site I get them from, I suppose a link is necessary : Sock Dream
In other news, I'm continuing to work out every day and bust my ass, and I'm constantly sore, but its okay because I'm working closer and closer to my goal. Which means that by June, I'll have my first set, and will have put in for Hopeful status. Annouk will be proud of me =) I love that girl so much, and everyone else should too. Every day she tells me I'm pretty, loves my photos on instagram, and encourages me to pursue my desire to be an SG. I wish I wish I WISH we weren't in opposite hemispheres. She is where it is warm and sunny and fantastic and I am, sadly, freezing my ass off in Alaska. Maybe one day we'll meet and swoon over each other in person and have crazy good times. =)
There is a new man in my life 
His name is Chief and he is spectacular. He's a Bandog Mastiff, which means both his parents are mastiffs mixed with other mastiff versions. So he's going to be about the size of a pony with the appetite of a tapeworm. But its okay because he's got rolls and jowls and he snorts and he's amazing.
He's such a sweetie. he's a great snuggler and he's so great with our munchkin.
I'm totally smitten. Twitterpated. Obsessed. <3
His name is Chief and he is spectacular. He's a Bandog Mastiff, which means both his parents are mastiffs mixed with other mastiff versions. So he's going to be about the size of a pony with the appetite of a tapeworm. But its okay because he's got rolls and jowls and he snorts and he's amazing.
He's such a sweetie.
he's a great snuggler and he's so great with our munchkin. I'm totally smitten. Twitterpated. Obsessed. <3
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!! Taxes came in last night!!!!
Which unfortunately only means that all our bills are paid, and so no cool stuff gets to be purchased, no tattoos done, and no new piercings either. LAME.
On the bright side...... I GET TO GO LOOK AT GIANT DROOLY PUPPIES TONIGHT!!! Mastiff/Am. Bully mix. Fuck Yes.
I need a giant drooly dog in my life. Other than my friends giant drooly monsters, Trilla and Bow who are always more than willing to slime all over me and wiggle and bring the same nasty drooly toy to my lap over and over and over again. =)
There's just something about giant drooly dogs that I love, maybe it's because they're so gentle, and goofy, and quirky, and squishy-faced. My boxer, Boss (RIP) used to sit on the couch like a human, with his ass on the sofa and his front legs on the ground. At 85 lbs he was a beast, but such a gentle giant with us and the munchkin... but... if you're a stranger coming into my house when no one is home..... you had better hope and pray for your life. I think I love that part alot too. Staying at home all day just me and munchkin, I always felt super safe with my giant home at my side, I always knew noone would touch us as long as he was around,
maybe if I beg and plead enough I can con the hubby into letting me get one. Doubtful though, as he reads my blogs on here and he'll know my plot to acquire a wiggly wrinkley ball of drool.
So how 'bout it baby? Can I have a wiggly wrinkley ball of drool? hahaha I promise sexual favors......
Which unfortunately only means that all our bills are paid, and so no cool stuff gets to be purchased, no tattoos done, and no new piercings either. LAME.
On the bright side...... I GET TO GO LOOK AT GIANT DROOLY PUPPIES TONIGHT!!! Mastiff/Am. Bully mix. Fuck Yes.
I need a giant drooly dog in my life. Other than my friends giant drooly monsters, Trilla and Bow who are always more than willing to slime all over me and wiggle and bring the same nasty drooly toy to my lap over and over and over again. =)
There's just something about giant drooly dogs that I love, maybe it's because they're so gentle, and goofy, and quirky, and squishy-faced. My boxer, Boss (RIP) used to sit on the couch like a human, with his ass on the sofa and his front legs on the ground. At 85 lbs he was a beast, but such a gentle giant with us and the munchkin... but... if you're a stranger coming into my house when no one is home..... you had better hope and pray for your life. I think I love that part alot too. Staying at home all day just me and munchkin, I always felt super safe with my giant home at my side, I always knew noone would touch us as long as he was around,
maybe if I beg and plead enough I can con the hubby into letting me get one. Doubtful though, as he reads my blogs on here and he'll know my plot to acquire a wiggly wrinkley ball of drool.
So how 'bout it baby? Can I have a wiggly wrinkley ball of drool? hahaha I promise sexual favors......
I noticed a bit ago that it's been YEARS since I've been tattooed. ALMOST SEVEN YEARS.
utter bullshit, I say. I have all these plans for tattoos I want but never can afford, I wish my hubby knew how to tattoo, so at the very least I could offer up an arm or a leg and bat my lashes at him and with the sweetest voice say "please, another tattoo?...." Unfortunately.... not gonna happen that way.
So instead I told him that we aren't going to buy any more camping/fishing/hunting gear until I get another tattoo.
Which is like grabbing a man by the balls and twisting ever so slightly until I get what I want.
But I'm okay with that, because really I should have enough moolah to get my sleeve started in about 2 months. Since about every two weeks we drop near 200 bucks at the sporting goods store on camping and fishing and hunting gear. I don't know what else we could possibly need for the outdoors other than a tent, a sleeping bag, and a good sense of adventure but I'm sure we've acquired it by now.
In other news, I've lost another 12 lbs! I believe most of it was in my ass though, as it's gotten relatively flat. I'll have to do more squats and fire hydrants. Yuck. My boobs are still enormous so there's no loss there, still rockin the DD's. My belly is disappearing though and my thighs are getting thinner which is what I really wanted out of all this exercising and eating better. Since I know I'll never be able to give up meat entirely as I love it so, I decided to eat only raw organic fruits and veggies during the day, and at dinner when I have to cook a nice big meat filled dinner for the hubby I eat a small portion of meat and then more raw veggies. So far it's working out pretty well.
Since the snow is melting and everything is icing over as it does here in alaska for spring time, I do believe it's time I started taking bellydancing classes, I do enough of it it every day in my living room but I really want to take a class and get better at it. Hopefully the instructor wont notice that I'm stoned in dance class though. I find that I move better to the music when I'm high as a kite haha
thats all for now. =)
utter bullshit, I say. I have all these plans for tattoos I want but never can afford, I wish my hubby knew how to tattoo, so at the very least I could offer up an arm or a leg and bat my lashes at him and with the sweetest voice say "please, another tattoo?...." Unfortunately.... not gonna happen that way.
So instead I told him that we aren't going to buy any more camping/fishing/hunting gear until I get another tattoo.
Which is like grabbing a man by the balls and twisting ever so slightly until I get what I want.
But I'm okay with that, because really I should have enough moolah to get my sleeve started in about 2 months. Since about every two weeks we drop near 200 bucks at the sporting goods store on camping and fishing and hunting gear. I don't know what else we could possibly need for the outdoors other than a tent, a sleeping bag, and a good sense of adventure but I'm sure we've acquired it by now.
In other news, I've lost another 12 lbs! I believe most of it was in my ass though, as it's gotten relatively flat. I'll have to do more squats and fire hydrants. Yuck. My boobs are still enormous so there's no loss there, still rockin the DD's. My belly is disappearing though and my thighs are getting thinner which is what I really wanted out of all this exercising and eating better. Since I know I'll never be able to give up meat entirely as I love it so, I decided to eat only raw organic fruits and veggies during the day, and at dinner when I have to cook a nice big meat filled dinner for the hubby I eat a small portion of meat and then more raw veggies. So far it's working out pretty well.
Since the snow is melting and everything is icing over as it does here in alaska for spring time, I do believe it's time I started taking bellydancing classes, I do enough of it it every day in my living room but I really want to take a class and get better at it. Hopefully the instructor wont notice that I'm stoned in dance class though. I find that I move better to the music when I'm high as a kite haha
thats all for now. =)
Holy shit so much has happened this week. I always find it hard to believe how much can happen in such a short span of time. Where to begin?
I suppose good news first..
We got a new house!! And our landlord isn't the scum of the earth! And I'm pretty sure we're surrounded by college stoners... not bad eh? This house is so cozy and warm and so full of light. Yesterday I sat on my tile floor and basked in the sun like a lizard on a hot rock. It was glorious.
Its actually comfortable to be naked in my house now. No drafts no icy walls and no need for burrowing in the blankets or wearing multiple layers just to be comfy. We both walked around naked last night completely comfortable, and then had awesome couch sex.
Our friends came over the other night with pot candies and a fatty blunt to break in our new house. That blunt lasted forever!! It seemed like it just kept going and going. Then we all ate pot candies and just sort of melted into the couches. Those candies are so Rad, eat one and your whole body mellows out nicely and you're just so chill... eat two though and you're on your ass, not going anywhere, not doing anything except getting a great nights sleep. Haha Timmy actually started nesting in the corner of my couch, we were all so baked from the blunt, candies, and the bowl we smoked before they even came over.
My purple hair is gone.
it was just too much work! Manic panic does not stick to my hair at all, even washing my hair twice a week and rocking dry shampoo didn't help it to last. So instead its wine colored. Though it looks black until I'm in the sun, and then my whole head glows like its on fire. Pretty sweet
And now titties
Now for the bad news...
Our first night moving into our new house, my much loved dog Ollie ran off. He's a border collie and they can get sketched out pretty easily. New place, new smells, everything in chaos.so the first chance he saw to run he bolted out the door under our feet while carrying stuff inside. I went running after him, and then driving after him to try and find him but we never did. I called animal control the next day to see if anyone had turned him in... Ollie was hit hy a car and died shortly after. the receptionist told me that someone had taken him to the emergency vet to try and save.him but his chest had collapsed when he was hit. . I cried all day that day.
I suppose good news first..
We got a new house!! And our landlord isn't the scum of the earth! And I'm pretty sure we're surrounded by college stoners... not bad eh? This house is so cozy and warm and so full of light. Yesterday I sat on my tile floor and basked in the sun like a lizard on a hot rock. It was glorious.
Its actually comfortable to be naked in my house now. No drafts no icy walls and no need for burrowing in the blankets or wearing multiple layers just to be comfy. We both walked around naked last night completely comfortable, and then had awesome couch sex.
Our friends came over the other night with pot candies and a fatty blunt to break in our new house. That blunt lasted forever!! It seemed like it just kept going and going. Then we all ate pot candies and just sort of melted into the couches. Those candies are so Rad, eat one and your whole body mellows out nicely and you're just so chill... eat two though and you're on your ass, not going anywhere, not doing anything except getting a great nights sleep. Haha Timmy actually started nesting in the corner of my couch, we were all so baked from the blunt, candies, and the bowl we smoked before they even came over.
My purple hair is gone.
it was just too much work! Manic panic does not stick to my hair at all, even washing my hair twice a week and rocking dry shampoo didn't help it to last. So instead its wine colored. Though it looks black until I'm in the sun, and then my whole head glows like its on fire. Pretty sweet And now titties
Now for the bad news...
Our first night moving into our new house, my much loved dog Ollie ran off. He's a border collie and they can get sketched out pretty easily. New place, new smells, everything in chaos.so the first chance he saw to run he bolted out the door under our feet while carrying stuff inside. I went running after him, and then driving after him to try and find him but we never did. I called animal control the next day to see if anyone had turned him in... Ollie was hit hy a car and died shortly after.
the receptionist told me that someone had taken him to the emergency vet to try and save.him but his chest had collapsed when he was hit. . I cried all day that day. Topless Tuesday
Mostly just lounging around the house with no shirt today... drinking coffee, smoking pot, laying in the sun streaming through the window, and contemplating a photo shoot and whether or not I have the lady balls to become an SG .... :-/ Confidence is a tricky bitch once you've had a baby...
Mostly just lounging around the house with no shirt today... drinking coffee, smoking pot, laying in the sun streaming through the window, and contemplating a photo shoot and whether or not I have the lady balls to become an SG .... :-/ Confidence is a tricky bitch once you've had a baby...
I hate my car. Like really and truly. Since we bought the damn thing all its done is break. And always its expensive.
First time it broke, a mere 6 months after buying it, it was the power steering hoses that blew. Then the power steering pump. Then the breaks. Then the struts. And the tie rod ends.
Now its the transmission that's trying to take a shit.
Z
I hate my car. I think I should just blow it up and turn it into a bonfire celebration and we'll get fucked up and dance around it as it Burns.
First time it broke, a mere 6 months after buying it, it was the power steering hoses that blew. Then the power steering pump. Then the breaks. Then the struts. And the tie rod ends.
Now its the transmission that's trying to take a shit.
Z
I hate my car. I think I should just blow it up and turn it into a bonfire celebration and we'll get fucked up and dance around it as it Burns.
