Haven't updated my blog in quite a long time. Not because I have nothing to say...I'm simply too scatterbrained these days. Feet on the ground, head in the clouds, mind in the gutter. I hope everyone here is doing well. I look forward to catching up on months and months of hotness.

Oh man...what to say? what to say? I've been away far too long. In short, new home, new job, new friends, new games, new books, new TV...same old grouchy cat. Though things could always be better healthwise and incomewise, I feel content.

Facta non verba. Words to live by. Always.

To whomever gave me a 3 month subscription to SG, thanks so much! I've been doing great these past months...finally employed again. I've taken a step back in order to take a step forward. It wasn't the way I expected things to work out, but I am up for the challenge, I guess. Anyway, I have to head out to work, but thanks again and I'll post properly when I get home. I can't wait to catch up on what I've missed!

Math being put to good use, I guess...

Well finally in my new place. It looks equal parts like the city dump and like I just robbed a Best Buy. Cat seems happy. My friend/landlord is giving me a sweet deal on rent since I'm laid off. I'm not one to ask for charity though, so I'm paying my way best as I can. Got a new project in the works and if it goes well I can sustain another 4 months while looking for a REAL job. Honestly, I haven't been stressed or upset over this lack of work thing lately. I'm in this very strange state of calm and contentment. I suppose it's a good thing, but sometimes I feel I SHOULD be stressed about it.

I can feel myself getting sick and hoping it's just a cold and not THE flu. My immune system is top notch though...regardless of what it is, I'll be over it in a few days.

So my landlady called yesterday to tell me she's bringing people into my apartment to show it off. So it's final now...I'm officially moved out. I've been in this place for two years and seeing it empty is somewhat depressing. It reminds me that we should appreciate everything when we have it, because we never know when the bubble will burst...ya know?

Once the gravity of all this sinks in, I'll be Emo-boy for at least a week. Stay away...FAR away.

Well, after much deliberation, I have decided that it's time to move out of San Francisco. I love it here, but I can't afford to live here until I'm secured with a new salaried gig. Doing independent consulting makes ends meet, but I'm way too stressed out by the constant hustle. I have learned a lot about myself in these past few months. I'm not a salesman by nature. I'm a dreamer. I'm an 'idea guy.' I'm a workhorse. I'm an executor. I'm a facilitator. ...but I'm not a seller.

I have 2 days of packing left before 'Phase 1'...and Phase 2 will be done later in the month with a Uhaul. Phase 3 is misc clean-up. The landlady is going to start showing my apartment after the 15th...by then my entire existence will be confined to a laptop, a lamp, a few books, a bowl, a pan, and hygiene products. No TV or home theater, so if I want entertainment, I'll have to play WoW or LOTRO. It'll be funny when people come in to look at the place. I developed a look I like to call 'Crackhouse Chic.'

My social life is a bit slow. Since my roommate moved out, I've lived in complete isolation, aside from the occasional 5am trip to Walgreen's to pick up supplies. I'm a hermit by nature and when I don't have friends around to draw me out, I naturally just shut myself off from the outside world. When I was working, I got all the social stuff out of my system, so coming home was a relief. Now it feels like a prison, but I don't have the desire or financial means to change it. Nothing like meeting the girl of my dreams in a bar and having to admit that I'm out of work.

Speaking of that, I've had to let my dreamgirl go. I don't know what happened. She just up and decided that I was too intense for her. We literally went from BFF's to her not even wanting to speak to me overnight. She blames herself, but I'm mature enough to know 'it takes two to Tango.' It still doesn't make sense or hurt any less.

WTF/E...

I never understood so-called anarchists. I agree with the so-called experts that say that anarchy would very soon be reduced to some sort of power-struggle between tribes as the 'leaders' and 'followers' find protection for themselves, and with the strongest of the tribes creating some sort of a despotism. It's human nature...it's been going on for thousands of years. Do we presume to think we've evolved beyond our instincts. Do we think we could last more than a week? Bullshit.

Not sure why this was in my head...I've been reading some things about order and chaos...and then saw some 15 year old with an anarchy symbol on their t-shirt. He'd probably be one of the first ones to go in his 'New World Order." Most people who promote anarchy are ill-prepared to deal with it.

Anyway, I've caught up on the last couple seasons of Heroes...meh...there was some cool stuff, but I got sick of all the 'kissyface' stuff with family and love interests. Maybe I'm just a bitter bastard. I'm ready to sit the frack down and shut the frack up for tonight's frackin episode of BSG!

Work stuff still sucks. When it comes, it's sweet...good money, but I'm still on the hustle and can't let my guard down. I need to move next month because I can no longer afford to live in SF alone and jobless. I'll miss this place.