Moving on from something that worked is so hard to do. everything in me wants to fix things, but it isn't going down that way this time.

Must move forward. Must keep busy.

Might the smoke and flames of the crash be the requisite combustion to forge the stronger, tempered, version of myself that will rise above the carnage like the Phoenix?

This is what keeps me going these days...the fire inside.

***

look inside your chest.

the pitch of night surrounds you. find: wood, leaves, dried brush. clear the surrounding area. look ferverishly for a spark.

you are lucky, it crackles to life. even then, a passing wind can blow it out. smoldering embers, their fading glow will not last long.

more wood, more kindling...fanning coals fast. if they go out, you perish with them.

flames jump! but small, only you can see. laboring alone with meager hues of yellow and orange, you repeat.

wood. kindling.

burning. brighter.

hoping flames extend beyond the walls of your chest.

wishing others have use for what you built that burns inside.

knowing one day everyone will wonder where this inferno came from, seemingly from nowhere.

smiling, for you knew it was there all along.

burn so bright there's no choice but to see the light.

i will touch the sun...i will die trying.

***

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I just felt like screaming.
have a nice day please.

who knew marty mcfly and the doc had something going on with all that time travelin'?

brokeback to the future

i think my last entry had twelve comments...a personal best. so i hesitated making a new one but you must all see this.

mr. pibb and red vines equals crazy delicious

if that doesnt work, it is also a free video download on the front page of itunes music store.

it is by far the funniest thing saturday night live has done in a very very long time. rapping about google mapping and cupcakes and the chronic-what-cles of narnia...priceless.

You ever get that feeling that you have the wrong job, wrong friends, wrong family...wrong life?

It's subtle, but it gently nibbles away at the enjoyment level of certain days.

"Well, you either get busy livin', or get busy dyin'."

last night i went to MOCA and looked at the frenetic works of mr. basquiat. i think he has good penmanship.

JFK is a good movie. the research behind it is stunning.

i dont know why but i have been feeling very political lately. so much frustration with everything that i want to make it better. i feel like this cool little country we have is run by an unstoppable machine that takes no prisoners and grinds people up who stand in its way.

america=freedom=free enterprise=capitalism=money?

we aren't even the most free country in the world, we are just the most free to make money.

so why does i surprise us that top officials are motivated by what our country does best? make moooooney.

i think 2,000 americans have died so far in iraq. how many iraqis? 100,000?

Did you know that in one night america firebombed tokyo, killing 100,000 and destroying pretty much the whole city? america fire bombed every major city in japan, killing waaaaay more people than the two big bombs did.

watch the fog of war.

then watch the JFK movie. see what happens in your brain after digesting all that madness.

and for the documentary that I have been making in the last month, the most potent information has come from people who lived through the depression and WWII, and they ALL despise what this country is doing these days.

hmmm...

So if anyone read my last journal entry, I was very excited to see the city of New Orleans. I was lucky enough to enjoy it one week before its destruction. It was a beautiful place that I hope can one day regain that charm that I had never felt anywhere else.

This is underwater now.

I have been a busy little boy, furiously spewing words to finish up some writing and producing a documentary on the 'Greatest Generation.' Interviewing older folk and hearing some of their stories from WWII and the Great Depression make me feel downright spoiled for what I have had, and what I have not had to experience.

The Constant Gardener is good. I also saw Midnight Cowboy again, and man does that one still stand up and rock.

Trying to tie up a bajillion loose ends before leaving for a long trip up to the bay area for a close friend's premier at the sonoma wine country film festival (Angelfilme Entertainment), and then straight off on a cross country voyage to florida.

2 day stop in n'awlins of course.

its gonna fly right by. and the moment i get back, production starts on a documentary i am producing which will probably eat all my time until october crawls around.

i guess you either get busy livin' or get busy dyin.'

i just watched the doc "The kid stays in the picture" about the rise fall rise of robert evans. a must for anyone wanting to work in this industry

SGSgsg,

So different and so much more than I expected from this place.

Gotta say thanks to sean getting me on here. werd.

I also have to say what's up to all the ninja ducks out there. represent.

in unrelated news, smoking out and seeing the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the mann Chinese was an awesome experience. highly recommend it.

Quote of the day - "I wish I had four hands, so I could give you four thumbs down!" dave chappelle.