age: 37 (May 17, 1975)

MEMBER SINCE: December 2003

occupation: Student

fantasy: Changing room, in public sorta stuff. I is dull!

stats: 6 feet 5, 14 stones

body mods: Not one. Unless you count my lack of a right big toenail.

sign: Taur-arse

i lost my virginity: At 23. With a dirty Christian girl. I went to her wedding a couple of years later (not to me).

makes me happy: Early mornings, coffee, books, unhurried contemplation, traumatic movies, crying so hard you're reborn and coming out calm and clear.

crush: Everyone!

gets me hot: Italians. Boobies. Good hair. Youth.

most humbling moment: Excessive alcohol at a friend's engagement party. I passed out on the (ladies) toilet. They had to break the door down to get me out, exposing my johnson to the world. Then I collapsed in the street and they had to call an ambulance. The paramedic asked me how much I'd drunk...I said 768 pints. So many apologies from that night, so many people who saw me frothing at the mouth..

makes me sad: Everything in winter. Getting old and getting scared.