Drink drink drink
Drunk drunk Drnunke
Usually, but not always. Neko Case has a new album out. It would be lovely to take a few minutes, forget the rest of your life, and listen to what she has to sing. I think that would make a fantastic Sunday afternoon.
Drunk drunk Drnunke
Usually, but not always. Neko Case has a new album out. It would be lovely to take a few minutes, forget the rest of your life, and listen to what she has to sing. I think that would make a fantastic Sunday afternoon.
I could be getting wasted but I think I'd feel it more that way...
Disappear here
I don't know. I'm sick of hangovers. I get them too hard lately. I'm sick of hangups. They're too real right now. I hope this isn't going to be one of those long nights.
Me me me.
None of this should matter.
Pandora Radio is amazing, but I picked the wrong station. It's too familiar and I can't turn it off. I want to but I won't. I have every option to, but I won't. I can't. Does that make sense?
Disappear here
I don't know. I'm sick of hangovers. I get them too hard lately. I'm sick of hangups. They're too real right now. I hope this isn't going to be one of those long nights.
Me me me.
None of this should matter.
Pandora Radio is amazing, but I picked the wrong station. It's too familiar and I can't turn it off. I want to but I won't. I have every option to, but I won't. I can't. Does that make sense?
Oh, cat!
The places you go
The corners you slip into so dark
I can feel it
With my fingers...
Wisking your tail around
So callous, humanity can be so trivial
Humanity can be so dirty
Oh, kitten, missus let me hear you purr again
Your thoughts and your words have destroyed even the simplest notions of vanity,
We could never match your vanity,
We couldn't think to stop ourselves from mistakes,
And you wouldn't think to make them, never...
Oh my cat, my kitten
I've gone and been myself again,
I've gone and wandered into petting you backwards
I've gone and been an accident,
But kitten...
You shouldn't ask questions
The dark corners can't answer,
You shouldn't have notions
To wait for accidents, they'll happen
And when you dig your claws around my heart
And feel the deep breath of my pulse in fluid explosions on your whiskers
I've only myself to blame
For expelling my blood on your passionate teeth
The places you go
The corners you slip into so dark
I can feel it
With my fingers...
Wisking your tail around
So callous, humanity can be so trivial
Humanity can be so dirty
Oh, kitten, missus let me hear you purr again
Your thoughts and your words have destroyed even the simplest notions of vanity,
We could never match your vanity,
We couldn't think to stop ourselves from mistakes,
And you wouldn't think to make them, never...
Oh my cat, my kitten
I've gone and been myself again,
I've gone and wandered into petting you backwards
I've gone and been an accident,
But kitten...
You shouldn't ask questions
The dark corners can't answer,
You shouldn't have notions
To wait for accidents, they'll happen
And when you dig your claws around my heart
And feel the deep breath of my pulse in fluid explosions on your whiskers
I've only myself to blame
For expelling my blood on your passionate teeth
There's a big smile just beneath my face. And there's a buzz under my skin now that I'm not shaking like yesterday's paper floating down the street.
And sure, yes, in ways I guess it was wrong, but it happened just the right way. Perfect timing, exactly the way it was supposed to.
No complaints here, and no arguments. And I'm not afraid, not yet. I don't know though, should I be?
And sure, yes, in ways I guess it was wrong, but it happened just the right way. Perfect timing, exactly the way it was supposed to.
No complaints here, and no arguments. And I'm not afraid, not yet. I don't know though, should I be?
In a buttered baking pan place 3/4 inch thick slices of potatoes each on a basil leaf.
Chop one small onion into half circles, place in a mixing bowl and sprinkle with either white sugar, brown sugar, or a combination of both, very lightly. Mix to coat.
In a sauce pan combine either vegetable or beef stock and one cup heavy whipping cream. Heat to a simmer and reduce slightly. Grate in Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and continue simmering until cheese is melted in. Pour over potatoes in baking pan. Liquid should be about 1/4 inch deep (or slightly deeper depending on how much sauce you wish to yield) in the pan.
Sprinkle the potatoes with seasoning* enough to lightly coat and place whole crushed garlic cloves around the potatoes.
Place onions on top of the seasoned potatoes and cook about 6 inches from the top of the oven on 350 F for about 45 minutes or until potatoes are fork tender.
It's absolutely beautiful, enjoy.
*Seasoning:
Equal parts salt, fennel seed, rosemary, half amount of ground black pepper.
Chop one small onion into half circles, place in a mixing bowl and sprinkle with either white sugar, brown sugar, or a combination of both, very lightly. Mix to coat.
In a sauce pan combine either vegetable or beef stock and one cup heavy whipping cream. Heat to a simmer and reduce slightly. Grate in Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and continue simmering until cheese is melted in. Pour over potatoes in baking pan. Liquid should be about 1/4 inch deep (or slightly deeper depending on how much sauce you wish to yield) in the pan.
Sprinkle the potatoes with seasoning* enough to lightly coat and place whole crushed garlic cloves around the potatoes.
Place onions on top of the seasoned potatoes and cook about 6 inches from the top of the oven on 350 F for about 45 minutes or until potatoes are fork tender.
It's absolutely beautiful, enjoy.
*Seasoning:
Equal parts salt, fennel seed, rosemary, half amount of ground black pepper.
Ah, the snow. Wish I could've been out to enjoy it during the daylight.
I laid on M's couch. Everything was in a deep dark purple inside with shadows from the yellow streetlight coming through making diagonal grids on the floor and walls. The snowflakes drifted in at a light angle, and the whole world in my head was laced with brilliant white. I sat near an imaginary fireplace, dreaming of absolutely nothing, basking in the stillness and swimming in calm.
That may've been my only moment today of a feeling of peace, but at least I admitted it.
Last year I hibernated (as much as I could) in my room. Erika was there a lot around then. It's a nice memory, sitting at my window blowing smoke out of a small crack at the top, doing my best not to make my room smell like cigarettes. Very few words spoken, but just knowing she was there.
*
I met a girl, which is interesting. I'm not terribly into her, but she seems like a nice person. Of course, she's crazy. I'm not attempting to begin a relationship. The thought of being someone's, especially her boyfriend is like a vague premise from a past life.
What's interesting is that everyone who knows her tells me in essence, that she's going to get attached to me. I'm quite sure though that she really isn't attracted to me at all. I'm simply a male who for the most part enjoys her company, which is why we hang out.
My theory is that since whenever she actually is into someone, they avoid her and therefore she pursues spending lots and LOTS of time with them. And since I don't avoid her, she isn't going to become attached.
I'm not sure if this is interesting to anyone else, but I certainly get a kick out of it.
And I certainly don't exclude the possibility of being wrong. I could easily be wrong. Personal experience can make all the difference. But my own instincts are that I'm in what is essentially a harmless place. So, you know, good times.
I laid on M's couch. Everything was in a deep dark purple inside with shadows from the yellow streetlight coming through making diagonal grids on the floor and walls. The snowflakes drifted in at a light angle, and the whole world in my head was laced with brilliant white. I sat near an imaginary fireplace, dreaming of absolutely nothing, basking in the stillness and swimming in calm.
That may've been my only moment today of a feeling of peace, but at least I admitted it.
Last year I hibernated (as much as I could) in my room. Erika was there a lot around then. It's a nice memory, sitting at my window blowing smoke out of a small crack at the top, doing my best not to make my room smell like cigarettes. Very few words spoken, but just knowing she was there.
*
I met a girl, which is interesting. I'm not terribly into her, but she seems like a nice person. Of course, she's crazy. I'm not attempting to begin a relationship. The thought of being someone's, especially her boyfriend is like a vague premise from a past life.
What's interesting is that everyone who knows her tells me in essence, that she's going to get attached to me. I'm quite sure though that she really isn't attracted to me at all. I'm simply a male who for the most part enjoys her company, which is why we hang out.
My theory is that since whenever she actually is into someone, they avoid her and therefore she pursues spending lots and LOTS of time with them. And since I don't avoid her, she isn't going to become attached.
I'm not sure if this is interesting to anyone else, but I certainly get a kick out of it.
And I certainly don't exclude the possibility of being wrong. I could easily be wrong. Personal experience can make all the difference. But my own instincts are that I'm in what is essentially a harmless place. So, you know, good times.
Fuck me...
My application for unemployment has been denied.
The law states that you must be "available for employment" and "actively seeking employment" in order to be eligible for unemployment insurance. Of course, since I had/have two broken feet, I'm not available for employment.
I didn't put 2 & 2 together on that one, though. In the letter it sounded like (to paraphrase), "Okay, we totally realize you're not okay to work, we have determined that. And, as such, no cash for you." Which to me made no sense. If you can't work, isn't that expressly, specifically what unemployment is for? Apparently not. Apparently unemployment insurance is available to those who can work, but either choose not to (in certain cases), or are having trouble finding work. So my phone call to the unemployment line went something like this:
"Hello, I got a letter saying my unemployment claim was denied. I'm fine to appeal, but I don't exactly get what I'd be appealing."
Some information handling happens at this point, I'll spare you the details.
After plugging in my information, she says, "Well, it says here you're under your doctor's care."
"Yeah, exactly."
"Well, the law states that you must be 'available for employment'. Are you available for employment?"
"Well, no. I mean, I can't work at all 'cause I've got two broken feet!"
"And if your feet weren't broken, would your employer have work for you?"
"Definitely. You've gotta be on your feet all day, there's no way around it."
And then she delivers the fatal blow, "I'm sorry sir, you're not eligible for unemployment. It's not given out on a need basis, that's not how the law was written."
Fuck me...
I have no options. I am out of fucking options.
Fuck.
So what the fuck, what the FUCK does a person who can't work do? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN PAYING TAXES FOR? Who the fuck are these people, making decisions like this? I CAN'T work. I'm not fucking lazy. I can't work, there's a DIFFERENCE.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
UUUUUUUUUUU
CCCCCCCCCCC
KKKKKKKKKKKK
My application for unemployment has been denied.
The law states that you must be "available for employment" and "actively seeking employment" in order to be eligible for unemployment insurance. Of course, since I had/have two broken feet, I'm not available for employment.
I didn't put 2 & 2 together on that one, though. In the letter it sounded like (to paraphrase), "Okay, we totally realize you're not okay to work, we have determined that. And, as such, no cash for you." Which to me made no sense. If you can't work, isn't that expressly, specifically what unemployment is for? Apparently not. Apparently unemployment insurance is available to those who can work, but either choose not to (in certain cases), or are having trouble finding work. So my phone call to the unemployment line went something like this:
"Hello, I got a letter saying my unemployment claim was denied. I'm fine to appeal, but I don't exactly get what I'd be appealing."
Some information handling happens at this point, I'll spare you the details.
After plugging in my information, she says, "Well, it says here you're under your doctor's care."
"Yeah, exactly."
"Well, the law states that you must be 'available for employment'. Are you available for employment?"
"Well, no. I mean, I can't work at all 'cause I've got two broken feet!"
"And if your feet weren't broken, would your employer have work for you?"
"Definitely. You've gotta be on your feet all day, there's no way around it."
And then she delivers the fatal blow, "I'm sorry sir, you're not eligible for unemployment. It's not given out on a need basis, that's not how the law was written."
Fuck me...
I have no options. I am out of fucking options.
Fuck.
So what the fuck, what the FUCK does a person who can't work do? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN PAYING TAXES FOR? Who the fuck are these people, making decisions like this? I CAN'T work. I'm not fucking lazy. I can't work, there's a DIFFERENCE.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
UUUUUUUUUUU
CCCCCCCCCCC
KKKKKKKKKKKK
*Chirp chirp*
My feet are attached to my legs with wobbly ankle muscles that make moving from point A to point B or points beyond slow and somewhat cumbersome.
My heart is attached to the world with wobbly emotions that make moving from point A to point B or points beyond slow, and somewhat cynical.
I'm terrified of rejection.
And now you know a little more about me.
My feet are attached to my legs with wobbly ankle muscles that make moving from point A to point B or points beyond slow and somewhat cumbersome.
My heart is attached to the world with wobbly emotions that make moving from point A to point B or points beyond slow, and somewhat cynical.
I'm terrified of rejection.
And now you know a little more about me.
JUNE 2009
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MAY 2009
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APRIL 2009
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MARCH 2009