I welcome every men on the planet to run to his wardrobe, and burn these items.
(1) Death to the cargo pants / army pants. You don't need 25 pockets, it doesn't flatter you. The wide legs look terrible, even on David Beckham! If you find it in your wardrobe: BURN IT!
(2) Imagine you're walking on the beach; Ipanema, Carcavelos, doesn't matter. And you look at gentlemen in these small pieces of "lateral strings" (only 22,- on this webshop). Dude, shut the fuck up, you could even better wear some decent ol' Speedos... It won't work for Bobby Norris, and it won't work for anybody. If you find it in your wardrobe: BURN IT!
(3) I've never been sure what these things are made for. And chances are really small that these awful three quarter pants will suit you. Or that there's anyone on this planet who get away with it.
Unless you wear them for gardening, BURN IT!
(4) Another 'new' trend which makes me which I was never born, the Fedora. Fuck Harry Styles (ok, not really). Fuck Fedora. And if you really think you can get away with it, simply ask your friends how they think about it. Just because you can doff it to the side, doesn't mean you're Frank Sinatra.
In case you find this piece if bad taste in your wardrobe, unfriend me on facebook, and BURN IT!
(5) This stuff is designed for winter wear, not for indoor lounging. It looks depressing, and it makes me feel depressed too, just by looking at it. Knit caps...
Really, run to your wardrobe, take them and BURN IT!
(5) I realise it takes ages to wear off these old 501's. So maybe you bought them in the nineties. Or you bought them in the eighties... It's over dude, give them to your dad! Feed them to the alligators! BURN IT! Get rid off these dad's pants, in one word, they are fugly.