Look at my new bathing suit! I've wanted it forever, and it's cheap enough for me to afford now! I think I'm meeting up with the girls tonight, I guess we're going shopping. I need jeans... I wish I had money for them. I think I'm gonna go up to Long Island next weekend. Sara's family is going up there, I think I'm gonna drive Jess and Willy up there... that would be fun. Memorial Day is dumb, Chris is gonna be on tour for the whole weekend, and he's in hawaii right now, and I want to cry. I miss the fuck out of him. AHH I EXPIRE IN A WEEK. DEATH. I want my car. And the shirt I ordered. And my bathing suit. And more Ultracet. I'm going to steal Katy tonight and make her cuddle with me.

Tired. Had a good weekend. Went to a show on Friday then Sara and Meg and I headed over to the graveyard for a midnight picnic. Came home and watched Buffy (the movie) and went to bed. We went to some yardsales and to Goodwill and then Meg went to her friend's prom and Jess came over and we went to a party. I drank half of the wine in a box, which made my night. And Austin shared a bottle of Pinot Grigio with me. I love wine. He wore my green disaster and ripped it, and I left it there by accident. Will and Chris stopped by and we went and stayed in Will's old house... it was creepy. We stayed up real late and made a sex fort and went exploring. I saw Mean Girls again today. I hate Sundays. They make me sick.

Pictures from my Friday are uploaded. I went to the beach with Steven, Sara and Jess and we walked in the water and took pictures... then we ate and took Steven home and went to Baltimore to see Sara's brother's experimental performance... it was in this warehouse near Mika and all these hipsters were there drinking 40s and taking bong hits. It was... crucial. We picked up two 12-packs and killed them before the night was over... it was fun... Matt's "band" wore masks, it was cute. They were incredible. As soon as they finished, it turned into a dance party... and I wanted to pee myself because it was so cool. The warehouse was up three flights of incredibly sketchy stairs... three flights doesn't produce the right mental picture though. They were higher and steeper than the escalator at the Chinatown Metro Station... the one by the zoo? Anyways... I think I'm STILL hungover... or something is wrong with me because I feel sick as shit right now. I went to Six Flags yesterday for Tara's birthday. It was so cute, we went to the zoo last year. I feel like a kid with her, it's fun. But... rollercoasters = not so good after three hours of sleep and a night of drinking. I went over to my friend Brandon's house that night and ended up staying up real late with everyone even though I made an honest attempt to be anti-social and sleep when I got there. This morning I wrestled with Brandon as usual and went in to wake Bryan up and stayed in bed being lazy with him for like 4 hours. The Postman is THE LAMEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. I want Chinese so badly. I love Roby so much. I can't stop sneezing. I want to sleep all day tomorrow, and I just might.

EDITED TO SAY: OH. MY. GOD. I forgot to mention the fact that Jess left her cell phone in Baltimore and I left my SUICIDE GIRLS SWEATSHIRT... The sentimental value of that sweatshirt is far greater than the value of a cell phone that can be replaced. Well, the sweatshirt can be replaced too... I want a black one. Haha.

FUCK CRAMPS I WANT TO THROW MYSELF OUT A FUCKING WINDOW. However, comma... my window is not very far from the ground so I'd prolly fall out in slow motion and like, break my thumb or something lame like that. I just woke up from a nap and I have a headache too. I think someone is at my house. I'm seeing spots. I spent in Middletown the night before last and slept in Jess's car while she was in school. I got drunk off my ass yesterday and jumped on Sara's trampoline... how cool is it that two of my best friends BOTH have trampolines? Pretty damn cool would be the correct answer. I uploaded some pictures from various PP gatherings. You should enjoy them. My boob hurts. It should stop hurting, wouldn't you say? Okay, time for a new profile picture. I WANT MORE SLEEP... I want more pills. I'm not allowed to sleep anymore, I have no cigarettes or ANYTHING, why should I stay awake? Give me inspiration. Or I will murder you. I'll cut out your heart and keep it forever.

Mmm, the show was really good. Darkest Hour was WAY better than Cursive though. Ahh, pure sex. Though Cursive is better on their albums than Darkest Hour.

Anyways, this is me pouting because I am poor and so I won't have my membership for very much longer. I'm not going to ask any strangers to pay for more time because... yeah, I don't know any of you. Welp, I have a few more weeks and I will ... survive.

I have mega-bad cramps right now. Periods = death, especially when they come out of nowhere. But I've been sitting in bed eating lots of ice cream and pasta because... I tell myself it makes the cramps better.

No cigarettes and no money. I spent it all this weekend on LAME shit. Sara, Jess and I had a girly sleepover and gave ourselves matching heart tattoos on our ankles. We played dress-up and Dread Matt wore a pretty unicorn shirt and Jess dressed like Bjork and I just... ran around in my underwear like I usually do... We went to Taco Bell and all hung out in the bathrooms, I tried to pee in the urinal but it was hard. It was like one big middle school party. Sara and I stayed up till 6:30 talking about... our lives. She's a really good listener. I'm used to competing with people for time to talk. But she just listened and asked questions, she's really cool. We went out around 5 and took a walk in the rain, it was so pretty. I like being comfortable with silence when I'm with people. But... you don't care so... I'm going check out the new sets that I missed this weekend.

AHH! Cursive tomorrow, I can't fucking wait. I'm missing the Black Dahlia Murder show tonight, not cool. However, I have ten dollars and no cigarettes and the show is $12... and cigarettes win this battle.

I'm so fucking... motivated right now... to do something, but right now I'm focusing all my energy on the computer... finally got my DSL line working, woop woop!

I need to go shopping really for real times ten to the fucking max... because I have nothing to wear tomorrow. Oh snap, I need money right now... we're buying vodka for the show, and I want to have money so I can get a pretty tee shirt or something...

Mmm, cereal makes me feel cool. Normal families buy cereal for their kids. We have cereal in the house. This must mean I'm normal, too. Apple Jacks! I just wanna mosh mosh mosh and scream my lungs out right now, I'm in such a good fucking mood. Might get my septum pierced next week.

I got pretty skirts yesterday... Hechts is starting to put censors on their stuff, which is not cool for poor people like me. It was cold today... but I slept up until an hour ago, curled up in my bed, so it didn't bother me until I went out to smoke. I'm so fucking tired it's unreal.

Mineral is a really pretty band. I'm listening to them for the first time... they remind me of someone else. I just found out that the Daughters/Sex Positions show is not until July. This is not good. There's shows every night this week that I want to go to, but I have money for none of them. Yesterday I went to the mall (again, what's wrong with me?) with Lisa and met the posse... we went to Dread Matt's and watched stand up and then I went to see my therapist. Matt proposed to me, it was cute. He gave me a Peachie-O ring. I will cherish it forever.

Thanks to everyone for the advice on my septum, I think it'd look better with a lip ring too, but I was thinking it'd be a good piercing because I could hide it from my dad, because he's a buttsmear and would most likely kick me out of the house if he saw it.

I'm so fucking stoned right now. Fuckin Haas came over this morning with some hydro... we smoked a bowl up in my room, came down and left and haas got down my street and realized he couldn't drive, turned to go back to my house and drove up a hill on the wrong side of the road as a car going the right way nearly crashed into us. Fucking buzzkill, dude. So we came inside and I put on some Zeppelin and he laid there for like, an hour and eventually called Fink for a ride. So, no way do I want to hang out with him today, I'm just staying home... I'll prolly go up to Towson because that's how I roll... That face is so cute, it says "EEK!" and that's cute.

This weekend was fun... I hung out with the posse... the Posh Posse, oh snap! Went to Sara's with Jess, Megan and Steven and watched Willy and Sara fuck... I hafta admit, my bitterness came strictly from jealousy... I played dress up and then went out in search of illegal substances and eventually back to Jess's for screwdriver-drinking, lolita-watching fun. And that it was. She, Meg and I went to Lakeforest the next day and then to 10 Car Pile Up to see the boys play. Jess and I went back to her house and Sara came over and we crawled under her house looking for marijuana because we know her mom grows it... I dressed up like Alex from Clockwork and wanted to show Roby, but no batteries for the camera. Oh boy.

My question for you is... Do you think I would look good with a septum piercing? I'm thinking about getting it done but I'm not sure it would suit my face. Damn my indecisiveness and need for approval.

I really need to go and get Josh to pierce my other nipple. He pierced like 8 girls' the other day, so I think he prolly knows how to do it a little bit better now... or at least make it a LEEEETLE less painful than the right one was. I just went shopping, being poor is so fucking nice when stores don't use sensors... because I got shit I never would have been able to afford normally. I need a bigger purse though... Dude, I'm going CAMPING tomorrow with my POSSE! I think that's the coolest thing ever. Partially because I can call them my posse now. AHH... I wanna go to the Daughters/Sex Positions show at the Ottobar next month SOOOO fucking badly, I could scream. Mmm, I can't wait for California. I can't wait to get the hell out of here for more than a few days. Check out this hot picture of the posse... We are so hot... .YOU LOVE IT. I enjoy that we're all completely distracted in the picture... I am doing major laundry today... There's a buttload of clothes all over the house and I sorted most of them and I just washed the most insane amount of undies... I have SO much fucking lingerie... it's ridiculous... But... picking some out tomorrow is going to be damn fun because they'll all be there to choose from. I mean, in case anyone was wondering. My hand has been insanely itchy/asleep for like 15 minutes. I think I'm going to go do something. I

Blah... it's fucking hot. And I'm fucking bored. I pierced my right nipple... I'm gonna do the left one in a few days, it hurt really bad... I feel lame. I wish it weren't a ring, it'd be 10 times hotter if it were a barbell... but... oh well. I'm kind of sad all of a sudden for no real reason, that's kind of annoying. I'm uploading a bunch of pictures from this one day me and Lisa got fucked up and ran around and took pictures... they're silly. I'll post the link when I'm finished. I went and got ice cream for breakfast today and it was real mushy, that made me kind of sad. Haircut tomorrow, 4/20 WOOP WOOP! Roby, when are we running away to California? I'm sick of being here. I wanna lay out in my bathing suit with Lisa and wear one of those cool metal-welding masks because we look so cute when we do that. I'm going SINK-SHOPPING tonight! Not having money is... not fun. Between cigarettes and donuts, I don't have any money for fun.

I hung out with Sean on Friday, we went to a cookout at this guy Will's house... I decorated his pool table outside with sidewalk chalk. We went over to Heaven's for a bit and spent the night at Kevin's girlfriend's house... then we walked to breakfast and stopped at Structure's for a minute... I went home and cooked and passed out for a while from Ultracet... then I watched From Dusk Till Dawn, best movie ever. I rented Nowhere but I didn't end up watching it... that's sad. We went to Baker Park for a bit on Sunday for the Earth Day show but I ended up just playing in the fountain and going back to Lisa's and making slutty clothes to run around in the sprinklers in. Anyways, I think the point was I don't know what's up with me and Sean... we're both really passive which kind of sucks... which is what sucks about all potentially awesome guys... I'm afraid he doesn't like me anymore but I read into things too much... so I might be overreacting. I wish I didn't care. I have some splinters in my foot.