So today I walked the greatest hike of my life. Considering the fact that this was my second hike ever and the only other one I have to compare it to was Jew-camp ten years ago which consisted of a bunch of Woody Allen-esque teenagers bitching about having to wake up to early, being lactose intolerant and being allergic to every possible thing in nature. All that considered, the only requisite I sought after was the absence of complaint, and lo and behold, without it, the hike was pretty sweet (despite the fact I missed out on some key financial advice, I'm sure). But this hike was particularly cool because I didn't have to finish it and I still got a good story out of it.
Ten of us met at the train station on the west side of town at 6am, and considering that the busses weren't running, this meant I had to take a taxi to get there. There's just something strange about catching an early morning taxi anywhere you go. The car just reeks of more interesting events and people headed to important and fun locations. To catch that car on the tail end of its shift, when you're not up to anything exciting yourself, is a bit of a letdown. But due to a prior commitment (more on that to follow) I sucked it up and just took the taxi to the other side of town to meet the others. Once there, I bought my ticket and scoured the station trying to find a bite to eat. I forgot to tell the host family of mine that I was taking off for the day, and hence, there was no lunch packed for me. But it's just as well considering the fact that my lunches usually consist of prison bread and shitty cheese coupled with unfiltered water that I've been filling up in the same water bottle for the last week. I'm really shaving away the pounds over here. Alex better be on warning by the time I get back, I'll be back to introducing him as the 'less attractive version of me' in no time.
So I board the train with ten of my new found friends and upon arrival we start a little city tour. You know,...

So today I walked the greatest hike of my life. Considering the fact that this was my second hike ever and the only other one I have to compare it to was Jew-camp ten years ago which consisted of a bunch of Woody Allen-esque teenagers bitching about having to wake up to early, being lactose intolerant and being allergic to every possible thing in nature. All that considered, the only requisite I sought after was the absence of complaint, and lo and behold, without it, the hike was pretty sweet (despite the fact I missed out on some key financial advice, I'm sure). But this hike was particularly cool because I didn't have to finish it and I still got a good story out of it.
Ten of us met at the train station on the west side of town at 6am, and considering that the busses weren't running, this meant I had to take a taxi to get there. There's just something strange about catching an early morning taxi anywhere you go. The car just reeks of more interesting events and people headed to important and fun locations. To catch that car on the tail end of its shift, when you're not up to anything exciting yourself, is a bit of a letdown. But due to a prior commitment (more on that to follow) I sucked it up and just took the taxi to the other side of town to meet the others. Once there, I bought my ticket and scoured the station trying to find a bite to eat. I forgot to tell the host family of mine that I was taking off for the day, and hence, there was no lunch packed for me. But it's just as well considering the fact that my lunches usually consist of prison bread and shitty cheese coupled with unfiltered water that I've been filling up in the same water bottle for the last week. I'm really shaving away the pounds over here. Alex better be on warning by the time I get back, I'll be back to introducing him as the 'less attractive version of me' in no time.
So I board the train with ten of my new found friends and upon arrival we start a little city tour. You know, the usual orthodox church (turns out the incense/smoke thing the pass around at Catholic churches smells really good), followed by super old monasteries which are cool when you're there, but when you try to tell other people about it, you can just see their eyes glaze over with boredom as well as all the other excitement that occurs when visiting a new city. (The, 'oh look at that tree,' conversation happened more than once). After a few hours of just trolling around the city I started thinking to myself 'you know, this is pretty cool, this is far less a hike than I expected and I'm still in civilization, I'm really glad this wasn't one of those sweat-fest hikes that leave me wanting to kill myself the morning after.' AND THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR THINKING! It was just at that very instant of self-reflection that our leader (one of our language teachers) led us to literally, the steepest incline in all of Europe. After checking Wikipedia, I'm convinced that the incline of Niagra Falls isn't at as steep of slope as this mountain side in the middle of nowhere Romania. After 30 minutes of walking in the same incline as the 'yodeler' on the old Price is Right game show I find myself short of breath and wanting to slit my wrists faster than Owen Wilson in the Royal Tannenbaums. It was then that I found out I only had another 11km to walk before reaching the summit. F*** ME!!!!! I found myself talking to myself like my dad after taking a bad-beat at the poker tables…'stupid, dumbsh*t, mother F***ckers, stupid lousy chicken fu**ers, how could I be so stupid?' I guess I'm the one to blame for not doing even the slightest bit of investigative work prior to this hike. But it was just when my lungs were about to explode and heart begin to fail that I was saved. I had heard (and not believed) that there is still quite a bit of wildlife on Romanian hiking trails. That, for some reason, to this day, there are still exotic animals whom just kind of hang out in hiking trails and steal picnic baskets as if they were auditioning for a live version of yogi bear. And it was into the third mile or so of our hike that we ran into two baby cubs and a HUGE mama bear. We were walking just around the bend of the Romanian Everest when this three bears came from seemingly out of nowhere, galloping down the side of the hill, directly in our direction. To be fair, the Romanian National Police tried to stop us from going up the vertical hill, warning us of multiple bears present on the trail. But being the arrogant Americans we are, we spouted some half-hearted 'manifest destiny' spiel and decided to go forge ahead. To be honest, I wasn't the first to see the bear. But you can bet your ass, I was the first one down that G-d damn hill! It's weird that the faster you try to outrun a bear, the quicker they chase after you. I kept pretending in my head that there was a big batch of honey in my backpack, and I took off like Carl Lewis. I think the only time in my entire life I've ever ran faster was the day I found out Taco Bell had 39 cent taco's when I was 12…man, I hauled ass. After the bear scare, things calmed down a bit, and we all stopped to pick up some food and eat for a bit. In Romania they sell three liter beers in plastic bottles, my friend and I went through two of them together. At that point we needed anything to calm down the fear that was racing inside of my head after almost getting eaten alive by a family of bears. It would've been one thing to be eaten by a large black bear…but to be eaten by a cub…that's not the way I want to go out. It's like the difference between the guy who sprains his ankle rollerblading as opposed to the guy who sprains his ankle while in the middle of the bar fight…I just didn't want to have to admit to rollerblading. But there's more to update on than getting eaten by bears in Romania.
I'm not fluent yet, and I don't like it. I feel as though I've been living these past weeks as a more attractive and more capable Helen Keller. It's weird to live life as a mute. Your thoughts don't count and you're nowhere near as important as you once were, or thought you were for that matter. The language is coming along quite quickly, but then again, I've only been taking it for a week. I try to flirt with girls, but it's nearly impossible for two reasons. One, I'm in bed by 9:30 every night so I can get to school in time as I have a two mile walk in the morning. We all know that standards drop considerably the later on in the nights it gets. I just dare the layman to try to pick a girl up in the daylight, it's impossible! Secondly, nobody in this country smiles! It's amazing, I'm not just talking about women being unimpressed with me (believe me, I know that look all too well) I'm talking about a nearly universal frown planted on the mugs of every woman in the greater Ploiesti metropolitan area. I just don't know what to do.
The school aspect has some promise for the weeks to come. We get new teachers next week and rumor has it my teacher next week is infinitely nicer than the one I just spent the last week with. Which wouldn't really be hard to top…the only requisite would be to have a pulse and she'll be more compassionate than the teacher I had this last week. I have to tip my hat though, it's really impressive the progress we've all made in just a week. I'm speaking more and more to unsmiling strangers and they're able to understand my accent, which is nice.
But I have to be honest, it's 8:45 on a Sunday, and I'm exhausted…I need to get to sleep…seeing as how I've already escaped bears, I guess lions and tigers are next. Much love!