age: 29 (Dec 23, 1982)

MEMBER SINCE: September 2004

occupation: I'm a soap salesman at Lush.

stats: I'm a wee 5'5'' but I've got a lot o' lovin' to give.

sign: Technically, Capricorn but I don't b'lieve that shit.

makes me happy: Empire Strikes Back

i lost my virginity: very serendipitously.

crush: Everyone!

most humbling moment: When I was in kindergarden, I was talking to my crush on the playground when suddenly I sneezed, and subsequently shit my pants.

gets me hot: The notion of slithering around with a willing femme in a warm vat of something thick and gooey. Like, for instance, cake batter.

body mods: formerly stretched ears, a red jelly bean inked on my right ankle (of the three-toed foot), a hole pierced through my stomach that I keep open with daily catheter insertions (I'm not joking), and the occasional moustache.

into: drawing, painting, thinking, wanking, vaporizing

makes me sad: Revenge of the Sith