DAMN IT'S BEEN COLD THIS WEEK! LOL

I.......................HATE...............................DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT'S A GENUINE, TRUE-AT-HEART GUY GOTTA DO?????? IF YOUR AN ASSHOLE...YOU WIN......GOOD GUYS ALWAYS FINISH LAST!!!! FUCK IT!!!

It's official........I have a new crush on an amazing lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

............ This is how I'm feeling today.............................Thought I'd share.

As I turn 39 today, I think about what 40 will look like in one year and am stoked about it!!!!!! But most importantly, I look at the past year. I find my self still single (which I hate ), a year older and wiser, I now have to wear glasses, can't run like I used to but hey, I still have my hair, lost 25 ponds and I'm the most healthy (emotionally and physically) I've ever been in my entire life!!!!! I sold my business and went back to the industry that I did for 18 years and love more than any, the clothing industry. Yeah, management sucks but I embrace it because afterall, it does drive me to be better in what I do!!! I find myself still fighting the piece of shit wanna-be-mother of my son in court trying to eliminate what little rights she has left but keep loosing beacuse the court feels I need to do a better a job fostering a relationship between my son and his mother. How is that possible when she's never around and never sees him??? She'll pay the price when he doesn't want anything to do with her when he's older, not that she cares. I'm not bitter, just frustrated with the courts and regardless of what I've been through with her over the last 4 years (I've had custody since then), it has not affected the way I feel about women, still love them and would love to be with one and maybe be married some day, who knows, maybe I'll be blessed some day.
I think of all the people I met on SG and the friends I've been so blessed to have. Thank you!!! You guys and gals have been great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's been great to be apart of a culture that I've always believed in and although I wear a suit everyday "DON'T LET THE CARDIGAN FOOL YOU". LOL Thank you to all for accepting me for who I am as I have of you!!! You all are beautiful and please never change as I will never either.

So, I'm feeling as if I'm about to ramble so I will stop at this point as my age is kreeping up on me!!! 39 can't be all that bad, right?! We'll see........................................................................................... LOL

As I sit here waiting on the tator tots (favorites), I decided that it was time for my first blog and it was only fitting that it was a question that came from my beautiful 4 year old son Korbin.

He asked me, "Daddy can I draw and color on your arm?", I looked at him with a bewildered look on my face and said to him, "what do you mean?", his response, "your pictures never wash off like mine (he likes washable tattoos) and I never want them to go away like yours, they're' bootifool' Daddy! When are the tator tots going to be done?"

You knowit's interesting how kids see things and maybe we all need to just take a step back once-in-while, take a deep breath and look at things a little more innocent and beautiful & not try to be too adult and just love the things around us that make us human.

I love my son more than life and the Raven on my back respresents my son because afterall, his name means black haird raven but a raven also means in Native Amertican (my mother is Kaina and my father is Italian) lore gives us clearification to what we don't see or don't want to see and with kids they see it as it is. Adults, a lot of times we don't.

So as the Raven speaks of clearification, so does our children because to them, afterall, what is; is, what is.

My son gives me the clearification as to what's truly beautiful in my life, he is.

"Daddy, are the tator tots done yet?"