Hello SG land! Time for a random update.

First, I completely gave up on the situation I was dealing with before, mainly because her and I don't talk anymore. But at the same time, I got annoyed with the "debbie downer" attitude she always had.

Next, I have been doing a field exercise for the past 5 weeks, and finally will be finished on 19 November, just in time to get back for Thanksgiving weekend!!! I'm so happy, because I get to go home and see friends and family again! It just really sucks to have to fork out over $600 to go home .

Now onto the real reason I'm posting... I'm itching for a new tattoo, which is great, just have to get the quote, and find the artist I want to do the work, but it's more of the idea that I have for the tattoo. If you have an opinion, please let me know, mainly because I want to know where SG land stands on the subject. The idea is a tattoo on the inside of my left forearm, of a serial number, like the holocaust tattoos that they would mark the Jews with. Now I'm doing this because the holocaust has always been a major interest of mine, and it changed my perspective on my religion completely after I read more about it and finally went to a holocaust memorial and museum.
The discussions that I have found online have been mixed, some say it's disrespectful, some say it's a symbol of remembrance, what do you think?

What's happening SG land? Long time no post, mainly because I'm pretty sure no one really reads this. If someone does, let me know x.x So I'm in El Paso, TX, stationed at Ft. Bliss, and I really can admit that this place is kind of growing on me. My time here will be interesting, which is an interesting thought.

Now for some, how could you say, like running into a wall.

So there is a girl that I met a few weeks ago, and it's been a good friendship so far. Now the reason it's been a friendship and nothing more, even though I like her, and I can tell she likes me (she also said it) is because she is, I guess bi-sexual, but more gay then straight. All of her serious relationships so far have been with women, and she has said that she wouldn't know how to be in a relationship with a guy, which is why it's been that way so far. Now, my question to anyone that reads this, or to myself, is, should I just suck it up and stay friends with her or try to push an actual relationship and see what happens?

Now here is where I go devil's advocate on myself.

Now for the friend aspect: We get along really well, she does trust me, and I do trust her, we have a lot of the same interests when it comes to beer and cigars, and we have tons of fun when we are out.

With all of that stuff, everything will change if we get into a relationship, and I don't want it to.

Now the relationship angle: I want to have something more with her, but I know that it would never work out as a marriage, and there are quite a few things about her that I don't understand and can't tolerate on a regular basis.

Those things that I could never really tolerate in a relationship don't bother me in the friendship. Now I'm pretty sure I've already come to the decision that mostly anyone that reads this might come to, but I want to get a third party un-biased opinion from someone.

Let me have it.

So I haven't posted in a while, mainly because I started my military career, and I was without a phone for a few months, and before that I didn't have the money to be a member , but now I have a phone with interwebs access and the money to be a member, yay! So what's new... um not much, in school for the next four months, then I go to my station. Then I get to find out about deployments, which I have mixed feelings about. If I get deployed, then there is pretty much nothing I can do about it, but then again, I have a 3 year contract, so I might not get deployed at all. But if I volunteer for a deployment, I can make more money overall, so fat might not be so bad. Gah I don't know what to do, hell I'm not even sure if I will re-up when I get to that point, but I guess I have a few months to figure most of it out... no worries, yet. Let's see what happens.

So my reality still has not sunk in, and I'm hoping it wont until after I sign. I'm working on joining the army, and going active duty. I want to sign papers by Friday, Monday the latest. I want to get out of here so badly! I have never felt like I fit in here, or anywhere for that matter. which is why I want to leave, so I can really find out where I fit. I know I will always fit in in this family, but, that only gets me so much. For anyone that actually reads this, tell me what it feels when you really fit in somewhere. Please leave a comment, even if it's 1 word. I just need to know someones opinion of this.

So, I'm in class and ready to go to bed. I know, the semester is almost over, just another week. But I don't want to wait for another week... I want to get this crap done with and get out of here already. I'm dying here. I'm single, broke, and I want to leave more than anything else in the world. Now I just want to figure out if I should bother trying to hook up with a girl or not. I'm ready to try for a one night stand, which I have never done. It just doesn't feel like me if I were to do that. Well, time to pay attention.

so... what to say... well, went and saw Harland Williams tonight at the Improv in Miami (coconut grove to be exact) and it was great. had a cute waitress who i wanted to flirt with, but she was so busy i couldn't. and that was the extent of my day. now yesterday was interesting... worked all day long and was ready to pass out when i got home. standing on your feet for 6 hours straight, and running around behind about 30-40 kids is well worth $25 and hour. need to lose just a little bit more weight, then i can pick an mos and sign papers and get the hell out of this family! i need to find a new family... i don't get along with my parents or my brother, unless they are getting something out of me... which really sucks... well time for bed.

hrmm... so this is my first post. the great thing is that none of my friends, or anyone that has any personal connection to me will ever know that i'm writing this. but i'm not here to say anything bad about anyone, that's not how i roll. so, lately i have just been feeling so crappy. i know why, but i can't really do too much to fix it, because there are just things that I can't do to fix it. well I will post again.