"Human bonds always lead to messy complications"

- Dexter


Five things;

(1) Compromise

Thanks to youtube, Mini E and I can live in harmony. It's just on the right side of cheesy to keep me amused.

(Expand blog to see video)


(2) Firemen

A while back I signed up for a free fire safety check by the local fire brigade because I'm all responsible and motherly and shit, and we live on the first floor. I had it on good authority that the firemen were going to be stunning specimens of manhood, and in preparation for their arrival and the inevitable question of "do you have an escape route planned in case of a fire?", I started really thinking about how we'd escape from our first floor burning inferno.
I had visions of pulling the sheets from the bed, fashioning some of them into a sling to strap Mini E to me, and using the rest to make a length with which to abseil down the side of the building. The fact that I'm wearing a white wifebeater whilst doing this (in my head) may prove that I watch too many movies.

So, the day comes, they arrive, and they're two less than averagely attractive middle aged men who probably get dragged around the supermarket by their wives on Saturdays because they're whipped, in crap uniforms. Anticlimax. Then, they take a look around, advise me that my smoke alarm is sufficient and ask me if I've thought about my escape route in the event of a fire. My only reply is 'yes' as I'm still reeling at the irritation that at least one of them doesn't resemble a Vin Diesel type, and so they proceed to give me their advice on what to do if I wake up and find my house on fire.
I should dial 999, give them the address and then wait to be rescued. I'm thinking that this is terrible advice until they point out that I live less than a mile from the fire station. Honestly. Even in the event that all my wordly possessions are burning to the ground, and the lives of myself and my daughter are put at risk I still don't get to have any fun.

"Human bonds always lead to messy complications"

- Dexter


Five things;

(1) Compromise

Thanks to youtube, Mini E and I can live in harmony. It's just on the right side of cheesy to keep me amused.




(2) Firemen

A while back I signed up for a free fire safety check by the local fire brigade because I'm all responsible and motherly and shit, and we live on the first floor. I had it on good authority that the firemen were going to be stunning specimens of manhood, and in preparation for their arrival and the inevitable question of "do you have an escape route planned in case of a fire?", I started really thinking about how we'd escape from our first floor burning inferno.
I had visions of pulling the sheets from the bed, fashioning some of them into a sling to strap Mini E to me, and using the rest to make a length with which to abseil down the side of the building. The fact that I'm wearing a white wifebeater whilst doing this (in my head) may prove that I watch too many movies.

So, the day comes, they arrive, and they're two less than averagely attractive middle aged men who probably get dragged around the supermarket by their wives on Saturdays because they're whipped, in crap uniforms. Anticlimax. Then, they take a look around, advise me that my smoke alarm is sufficient and ask me if I've thought about my escape route in the event of a fire. My only reply is 'yes' as I'm still reeling at the irritation that at least one of them doesn't resemble a Vin Diesel type, and so they proceed to give me their advice on what to do if I wake up and find my house on fire.
I should dial 999, give them the address and then wait to be rescued. I'm thinking that this is terrible advice until they point out that I live less than a mile from the fire station. Honestly. Even in the event that all my wordly possessions are burning to the ground, and the lives of myself and my daughter are put at risk I still don't get to have any fun. Jizz juggler.


(3) Arguing

I have very little time for people in general, and even less time for arguments. Exchanging words with people that I care about destroys a little of my soul.


(4) New addition

I contacted several breeders for some info on the whole cat front, and one lady sent me an email back with a photo attached of the cutest kitten that she was looking to rehome. I'd been hoping to wait until the end of the year before going ahead with anything, but after speaking to her about his personality and temperament he sounded perfect.



We went to meet him, and he and Mini E got on exceptionally well. He's incredibly laid back, and this certainly works in our favour with a toddler on the prowl. He's also bloody huge. The breeder commented that he's the biggest she's ever seen (at that age), and she knows her stuff. He even has a super cool pedigree name - Aces High. Basically, he rules.


(5) Stress next week

Course results, and my interview with the Official Receiver (person who has control of all my assets/life). It hasn't escaped unnoticed that a 'fail' for my course would mean the end to a career that I haven't yet started. Worry much?


"I dream I'm floating on the surface of my own life watching it unfold"