BLOGS
Blessed be to all my fellow Wiccans and Pagans, I hope everyone had a Happy Solstice!
I find myself anxious and preoccupied this holiday season. There are many things weighing on my mind. First of all the house is haunted, quite literally, by Bobhead's (my boyfriend) father's ghost. In the middle of the night, the presence turns on the radio we inherited from the deceased to the AM dial to its favourite talk radio programme at maximum volume, waking my love, and causing undue emotional stress. We have all seen the apparition in the movie room, even guests, terrified by a figure who will not answer. As I tried to sleep, I looked up to see a shadowy figure watching over my love and I in our beds. I am not certain how to proceed ...
Then there's my parents. They sent my little sister a letter telling her they were proud of the fact they disowned me and that she should shun me too, because, in their estimation, I was the cause of all our family's problems. I know in my heart that's not true, but this latest jab hurt more than I realised. Its affecting my sleep, my dreams, my highs and my waking thoughts! If I spill my guts about my fucked up origin story, unbidden, to one more poor schmuck, I'll cut out my tongue! Too often the "schmuck" is my eternally tolerant boyfriend who patiently listens to me drone on about shit only a psychiatrist should hear. So I'm determined to confront my parents and say my piece, just once, so I can have my peace and kick them out of my head.
As if that weren't enough on my mind, I have some health concerns. About two months ago, my left breast began to throb. A self-mammary exam revealed a large solid lump. I went to the doctor and she seemed quite concerned. She ordered a barrage of tests, but they only showed the need for more tests. I have a breast ultrasound on New Year's Eve. I keep trying to put it out of my mind, telling myself its probably nothing, but the timing couldn't...
I find myself anxious and preoccupied this holiday season. There are many things weighing on my mind. First of all the house is haunted, quite literally, by Bobhead's (my boyfriend) father's ghost. In the middle of the night, the presence turns on the radio we inherited from the deceased to the AM dial to its favourite talk radio programme at maximum volume, waking my love, and causing undue emotional stress. We have all seen the apparition in the movie room, even guests, terrified by a figure who will not answer. As I tried to sleep, I looked up to see a shadowy figure watching over my love and I in our beds. I am not certain how to proceed ...
Then there's my parents. They sent my little sister a letter telling her they were proud of the fact they disowned me and that she should shun me too, because, in their estimation, I was the cause of all our family's problems. I know in my heart that's not true, but this latest jab hurt more than I realised. Its affecting my sleep, my dreams, my highs and my waking thoughts! If I spill my guts about my fucked up origin story, unbidden, to one more poor schmuck, I'll cut out my tongue! Too often the "schmuck" is my eternally tolerant boyfriend who patiently listens to me drone on about shit only a psychiatrist should hear. So I'm determined to confront my parents and say my piece, just once, so I can have my peace and kick them out of my head.
As if that weren't enough on my mind, I have some health concerns. About two months ago, my left breast began to throb. A self-mammary exam revealed a large solid lump. I went to the doctor and she seemed quite concerned. She ordered a barrage of tests, but they only showed the need for more tests. I have a breast ultrasound on New Year's Eve. I keep trying to put it out of my mind, telling myself its probably nothing, but the timing couldn't...
APRIL 2013
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Bela_