A man thinks: "Geez, some 'strawberry pie' would taste good right now."
He hurries over to a certain house. A redhead leads him upstairs to her room. She slips off her dressing gown and stretches unabashedly among the pillows. The man feasts his eyes on her, especially that curly hair. He kneels between her legs and reaches for her loins.
"Before I use my fork, I'm going to lick the plate clean!" he tells her, winking.
She chuckles. The man lowers his head, passionately. At a certain point, the redhead suddenly swings her legs tight around the man's head.
"'Deep dish,'" the man thinks.
In the evening, setting off for home, the man feels pleasantly faint with satisfaction. He pauses on the curb to look back at the house, at that third-story window. He smiles. He steps into the street and a truck loaded with office furniture honks and runs over him.
Sometime the next day, an autopsy is performed at the morgue. The coroner's assistant opens the corpse's belly. "Holy Jesus, look at all this!" he whispers.
When the coroner returns from vacation, he sits at his desk working late into the evening on the backlog of reports. He finishes with the last section of a report on a pedestrian fatality and sets it aside. He gazes off into space, tapping a pencil on the side of his nose. A saucy, contemplative smile drifts over his face.
"These 'mysterious curly red hairs down in the stomach'," he thinks. "Why, they give me one very delightful idea."
And he smacks his lips at the thought.
"Barry Yourgrau manages to articulate your most bugged-out daydreams" - Adam Horovitz of the Beastie Boys
"There's no other writer alive like Barry Yourgrau."- Jerry Stahl (author of Perv & Permanent Midnight)
Writer & spoken-wordster Barry Yourgrau writes strange dreamlike books of short twisted stories. He also starred in the movie of his book, The Sadness of Sex, with Peta Wilson. Barry's earliest books are little classics--Wearing Dad's Head & A Man Jumps Out of An Airplane (excerpted here). His latest, Haunted Traveller, about fantastic travels, was an Amazon.com Travel Editor Top 10 Pick.
Barry was seen on MTV Unplugged's first Spoken Word special. He's often on NPR. As a film actor he debuted as an A-bomb scientist (Fat Man and Little Boy). But he's most proud of starring in an Anthrax music video, featuring Gena Elfman as a teen runaway.
Barry can be reached via yourgrau.com.
He hurries over to a certain house. A redhead leads him upstairs to her room. She slips off her dressing gown and stretches unabashedly among the pillows. The man feasts his eyes on her, especially that curly hair. He kneels between her legs and reaches for her loins.
"Before I use my fork, I'm going to lick the plate clean!" he tells her, winking.
She chuckles. The man lowers his head, passionately. At a certain point, the redhead suddenly swings her legs tight around the man's head.
"'Deep dish,'" the man thinks.
In the evening, setting off for home, the man feels pleasantly faint with satisfaction. He pauses on the curb to look back at the house, at that third-story window. He smiles. He steps into the street and a truck loaded with office furniture honks and runs over him.
Sometime the next day, an autopsy is performed at the morgue. The coroner's assistant opens the corpse's belly. "Holy Jesus, look at all this!" he whispers.
When the coroner returns from vacation, he sits at his desk working late into the evening on the backlog of reports. He finishes with the last section of a report on a pedestrian fatality and sets it aside. He gazes off into space, tapping a pencil on the side of his nose. A saucy, contemplative smile drifts over his face.
"These 'mysterious curly red hairs down in the stomach'," he thinks. "Why, they give me one very delightful idea."
And he smacks his lips at the thought.
"Barry Yourgrau manages to articulate your most bugged-out daydreams" - Adam Horovitz of the Beastie Boys
"There's no other writer alive like Barry Yourgrau."- Jerry Stahl (author of Perv & Permanent Midnight)
Writer & spoken-wordster Barry Yourgrau writes strange dreamlike books of short twisted stories. He also starred in the movie of his book, The Sadness of Sex, with Peta Wilson. Barry's earliest books are little classics--Wearing Dad's Head & A Man Jumps Out of An Airplane (excerpted here). His latest, Haunted Traveller, about fantastic travels, was an Amazon.com Travel Editor Top 10 Pick.
Barry was seen on MTV Unplugged's first Spoken Word special. He's often on NPR. As a film actor he debuted as an A-bomb scientist (Fat Man and Little Boy). But he's most proud of starring in an Anthrax music video, featuring Gena Elfman as a teen runaway.
Barry can be reached via yourgrau.com.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
Don't read the next paragraph if you want to figure the story out for yourself.
Okay, I had assumed this was what Yourgrau was going for in the first version, but it seemed there were too many blanks for the reader to fill in. It's like a "closed loop" story... or maybe an infinite regress? This coroner is now going to go off and visit perhaps the same redhead, go down on her, get hit by a truck, and another coroner will examine his body, find more red hairs, get another "delightful idea" and so on... with a string of coroners being lead to the same fate by one woman (unwittingly on her part?). Heh, kind of like a twisted version of the poem "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" by John Keats.
Calamity said: