"David Davies' Magic Journey"

Once upon a time, there was a guy named Dave.

Dave was an ordinary guy. He liked little gadgets...

...and using his little gadgets to take pictures of pretty girls before they had a chance to object.

Dave also had a son...

...or daughter, he wasn't really sure which.

Of course, he didn't want to come right out and ask, or do anything as creepy as sneak a peak while "it" was sleeping, especially since "it" had a vicious dog guarding "it's" bed at all times.

Dave thought and thought about a more subtle way to figure out his child's gender.

"Family vacation!" He announced as the crappy rock band in his living room brought their crappy set to an akward, crappy close.

To be continued.

beaky

Miami, FL

April 2003

AUG 21, 2003 12:10 PM

wow.. nice "pretty girl"

pensquare

Tustin, CA

April 2003

AUG 21, 2003 12:42 PM

Part Two.

Dave put together his list of supplies they'd need...

...and off they went to RandomEuropeanCountry.

They did all the normal stuff at first; they saw the sites...

...took corny photos of mystery-gendered family members trampling national landmarks...

...and Dave even had time to snap pedo pictures in his hotel elevator.

But it didn't take long for him to get to the serious stuff: "Hey, look," said Dave, "It's a cock. Whaddya think of that?"

"It" just gave a puzzled stare. "Alright," Dave said, "How about this? Remind you of anything? Hmmmm?"

Again, "it" said nothing. "Alright," said Dave, "How 'bout this? Eh? Eh? Does that screw remind you of anything you've seen before?"

"It" remained silent. Dave decided it was time to stop being vague. "Look! It's a pussy in a bush! Pussy in a bush!"

"I know what you're getting at, dad." it said in a completely androgenous monotone. "After seeing all this, I'm horny as hell. I've got both, and now I'm gonna use both! Seeya later!"

And "it" ran off to do all kinds of naughty things with the locals. Needless to say, that was the longest trainride back to his hotel Dave had ever taken.

Because he was so depressed, he bought himself a huge meal...

...that ended up being so expensive, he couldn't afford to fly back to America. So he used what money he had left to put down a security deposit on a slummy apartment.

Dave did not live happily ever after, but to this day he still follows his favorite hobby: taking pictures of women before they have a chance to object.

The End.