zsanda

I HATE myself..HATE HATE HATE. no I LOATHE myself.

I have just hurt one of the very few people i would never ever want to hurt. I am such a half wit fucknut.
There was me moaning on and on to a guy i consider a good friend about how i miss my ex boyfriend and blah blah blah blah and i knew this guy i was moaning to had feelings for me and i just didnt think...i just didnt think...man i am stupid and selfish i fucking hate myself.

I mean i really like this guy and i knew he had feeling for me....and i just didnt think. This guy is just the kindest, most selfless person i know he is a real star and i have gone and hurt him so bad.

Then as if i wasnt already sticking a knife in his heart my meds kicked in and i had to go to bed so i just left him to be alone in his hurt.......I couldnt sleep so i got up to try and get to talk to him and he was gone....FUCK.

I dunno what im fucking doing anymore except hurting the few friends that i have.

Fuck.