anybody want some pretzels? anyone? *sigh* at school today we were doing our Theory class (as opposed to Practical; during which we can work on our mannequins or clients or each other if its slow). Theory is bookwork. endless bookwork. unimaginably BORING bookwork. and many of the chapters i have gone over QUITE A FEW times now... not surprising considering the fact that i am nearly done.. and i got a perfect score on the test we took on pathogens and bacteria and all that lovely disgusting bilge. for this... i get a prize. the prize... a tiny (VERY tiny) bag of pretzels.
i think i may have given the instructor a rather disparaging look, but i took them anyway. now i cant get rid of them.
maybe i will donate them. right. there are maybe MAYBE 4 mini MINI pretzels in this baggie. and what good are pretzels without mustard, anyway? exactly. they suck.
it is dawning on me now that the divorce is final that i took it hard.
yeah, i know; i can see you all looking at me right now like im nuts... i had 2 damn years to prepare myself for it... we have been living 400 miles apart for that same amount of time... so why when i think about it do i feel like my stomach is an elevator and someone just cut the cables?
its fear, i think. i honest to god am truly afraid of loving another person again. i... have to think.
i dont want another relationship like that one; so i do not necessarily miss HIM; except his voice haunts me sometimes, and his face... but the relationship was bad bad news.
i DO want to be with someone again, though.
i have been alone long enough. i would know. i havent been with anybody since him. and... i have all this excess love that i just want to smother someone in. i feel like i am a better person when i am with someone i love WHO GENUINELY LOVES ME. i FEEL like a better person.
*rubs eyes*
i dont know what i am saying. im tired. i woke up at 4 in the morning because i had another bad dream.
i am just rambling on.
forgive me.
i think i may have given the instructor a rather disparaging look, but i took them anyway. now i cant get rid of them.
maybe i will donate them. right. there are maybe MAYBE 4 mini MINI pretzels in this baggie. and what good are pretzels without mustard, anyway? exactly. they suck.
it is dawning on me now that the divorce is final that i took it hard.
yeah, i know; i can see you all looking at me right now like im nuts... i had 2 damn years to prepare myself for it... we have been living 400 miles apart for that same amount of time... so why when i think about it do i feel like my stomach is an elevator and someone just cut the cables?
its fear, i think. i honest to god am truly afraid of loving another person again. i... have to think.
i dont want another relationship like that one; so i do not necessarily miss HIM; except his voice haunts me sometimes, and his face... but the relationship was bad bad news.
i DO want to be with someone again, though.
i have been alone long enough. i would know. i havent been with anybody since him. and... i have all this excess love that i just want to smother someone in. i feel like i am a better person when i am with someone i love WHO GENUINELY LOVES ME. i FEEL like a better person.
*rubs eyes*
i dont know what i am saying. im tired. i woke up at 4 in the morning because i had another bad dream.
i am just rambling on.
forgive me.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
cheer up. someday you will be loved like you desever.
and if ya still got those pretzels ill take them im starving