I am sick of the subculture arena, the turns that I see it taking are no longer what I use to describe myself nor do I wish to be affiliated with the dense, plastic, and skin deep philosophies of those who commit themselves to that way of life. The people that I increasingly find within the sub cultural world are quite fake and no longer...
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Loneliness ever haunting the recesses of my mind taunting me as the old friend it is. I find myself most often enough alone, my family the majority of the time is the most interaction I get with the outside world. The extent of my expeditions to the outside world are the cigarette breaks that frequent my daily routine less habits. Yes I do enjoy tormenting...
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zanafar:
"People like me are a dime a dozen"
Bullshit. Your a good friend and that by itself is a rare thing
I understand too well about being lonely. Do you have Yahoo or MSN? CUz I for one would love to chat with you. In fact....if you ever really want to talk (and you have free long distance cuz I unfortantly do not) I'll give you my number and you can call me
Your just in a slump is all.....its understandable how everthing that is happening to you would depress you. It would depress anyone. But you'll get through it then be stronger because of it
Bullshit. Your a good friend and that by itself is a rare thing
I understand too well about being lonely. Do you have Yahoo or MSN? CUz I for one would love to chat with you. In fact....if you ever really want to talk (and you have free long distance cuz I unfortantly do not) I'll give you my number and you can call me
Your just in a slump is all.....its understandable how everthing that is happening to you would depress you. It would depress anyone. But you'll get through it then be stronger because of it
blayde:
Hey, I hope your ok?? I know the feeling about the drugs, I've just came off combined AD's and sleeping pills (Mirtazaphine / Zispin - it wasn't too strong but it did the job) and now, i'm a creature of the night again, and I don't sleep, pretty much ever. I feel shit!
I don't know this site will help, and I haven't used it in a few years but if you wanted to rant, and possibly meet others similar you could try nshn there's nearly always some people online, and its good to get it out.
x
I don't know this site will help, and I haven't used it in a few years but if you wanted to rant, and possibly meet others similar you could try nshn there's nearly always some people online, and its good to get it out.
x
Contradictions... like a poke in the brain.
We assume to know many things, but in the end truly we really know nothing. I take part in this flaw of humanity myself, like any young adult would, yet in my lifetime I know that I will learn more, and change my assumptions on what I know frequently throughout the course of it. In the end I...
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We assume to know many things, but in the end truly we really know nothing. I take part in this flaw of humanity myself, like any young adult would, yet in my lifetime I know that I will learn more, and change my assumptions on what I know frequently throughout the course of it. In the end I...
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zanafar:
The only true wisdom in the world is knowing that you in fact know nothing.
Somethings we will never know. Not in this life anyway. But its still fun to guess on how things are My personal opinion.....I think every REAL religion (As in the ones that were NOT created just to controll people 
) has a small piece of the whole picture that they have based the entire religion on. Like...say....Buddism s piece might be reincarnation. So if somehow you can sort out what piece is the ral thing that started each religion...then you can see how things really are
Somethings we will never know. Not in this life anyway. But its still fun to guess on how things are
My personal opinion.....I think every REAL religion (As in the ones that were NOT created just to controll people ) has a small piece of the whole picture that they have based the entire religion on. Like...say....Buddism s piece might be reincarnation. So if somehow you can sort out what piece is the ral thing that started each religion...then you can see how things really are Sess pool of Observations
Mental dysfunction, what I have been coping with for the past 8 months, is finally getting somewhere. I still see things that shouldnt be there, however, they are starting not to bother me so much anymore. The moving walls, the shadows that flit back and forth through my vision field, I am beginning to make peace with. However where shall I...
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Mental dysfunction, what I have been coping with for the past 8 months, is finally getting somewhere. I still see things that shouldnt be there, however, they are starting not to bother me so much anymore. The moving walls, the shadows that flit back and forth through my vision field, I am beginning to make peace with. However where shall I...
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blayde:
Sounds like an interesting day. I agree with the whole people & society thing. Although, there are some kids thatjust stare at my hair til their parents drag them away (more so when it was bright pink), and the occasional kid who would go "mum, look at that" the parents always got hideously embarrassed! 
Its because of Poppy Z Brite hat I am in love with the French quarter, and I want to visit there one day.
Its because of Poppy Z Brite hat I am in love with the French quarter, and I want to visit there one day.
revolutionartist:
THOSE are GREAT!!!! I almost fell off my seat reading those. Thanks for that.
I hate being awake... The hours toll by until my head is pounding and everything turns into a white noise. New Orleans, the city I grew to love, is now drowning, I expected as much but I didn't think it would happen so soon. However what consciousness it does have saved the french quarter from being drowned, a consciousness one wouldn't understand until one has...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
blayde:
I never even knew there was a hurricane in New Orleans til I got back off my hols, I was surprised that the gov did nothing until it was way too late. But then, no, i don't think I am that surprised.
I would love to visit the French Quarter one day, i've read so many books about it, and now, whenever I want to get away, I think of being there.
I know a few religious people, and I have never known greater hypocrites. Love thy neighbour and all that, there nothing like that.
I would love to visit the French Quarter one day, i've read so many books about it, and now, whenever I want to get away, I think of being there.
I know a few religious people, and I have never known greater hypocrites. Love thy neighbour and all that, there nothing like that.
blayde:
Hey, and i've also just noticed Poppy Z Brite is on your fave books list. i've just worked my way through them for the second time, and I just can't put them down.
Its sad how people are so unused to modified people, and its the twenty first century. You think by now people would be used to differences in appearance. Unfortunately my family is no different than any out there, not only do they dislike my piercings I border on being disowned whenever I get a new mod. I really want to get a tattoo but I...
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zanafar:
WOW
Oh....and about your last set with the tape.....next time you do one like that Id be willing to scrub the glue off of you
Everyone has thier own opinions on everything. Personaly I dont like the more hardcore stuff much. Tats I like (I have a few and want many more) Piercings I dont like quite as much....wont get one myself (Though for some reason I find a girl with alot of piercings REALLY sexy ) The more hardcore stuff......to me is just "eewwww" Especially some of the more .....ummm.....creative stuff...I have seen some guys do with thier manhood 
But my opinion dont matter at all. Its the owner of the mod whose opinion matters. If they want to do that they have that right and can do whatever they please....and no one has the right to tell them otherwise.
Your parents acting like you doing what you want to do (when it doesnt hurt anything) is so horrible is wrong....they cant tell you how to live your life.
But at the same time.....try to respect thier opinions on the subject as much as you can....dont rub it in thier faces. Maybe not having your peircings in (or maybe having retainers?) at family dinners would help. And when you get your tat......you might want to consider getting it some where that you can cover it up with a shirt or something
WOW
Oh....and about your last set with the tape.....next time you do one like that Id be willing to scrub the glue off of you
Everyone has thier own opinions on everything. Personaly I dont like the more hardcore stuff much. Tats I like (I have a few and want many more) Piercings I dont like quite as much....wont get one myself (Though for some reason I find a girl with alot of piercings REALLY sexy
) The more hardcore stuff......to me is just "eewwww" Especially some of the more .....ummm.....creative stuff...I have seen some guys do with thier manhood
But my opinion dont matter at all. Its the owner of the mod whose opinion matters. If they want to do that they have that right and can do whatever they please....and no one has the right to tell them otherwise.
Your parents acting like you doing what you want to do (when it doesnt hurt anything) is so horrible is wrong....they cant tell you how to live your life.
But at the same time.....try to respect thier opinions on the subject as much as you can....dont rub it in thier faces. Maybe not having your peircings in (or maybe having retainers?) at family dinners would help. And when you get your tat......you might want to consider getting it some where that you can cover it up with a shirt or something
blayde:
That first pic is cute. What have you used on your hair?? I had a few blonde pieces put in the red dye so i can change them as and when, I just haven't got around to it yet, and I have a purple colour but it isn't as great as that!!
Parents are just parents, i have two tat's, and they weren't happy about that, altough, they wouldn't let me get them done until I was 18. They weren't happy when I had my bellybutton pierced either.
How are things?
Parents are just parents, i have two tat's, and they weren't happy about that, altough, they wouldn't let me get them done until I was 18. They weren't happy when I had my bellybutton pierced either.
How are things?
I have a new practice set up at the hopefuls group, go and take a look at it Demonic Electronic. Anyway its been pretty boring here recently, just chilling and reading books. I ran out of Seroquil so now im into the tylenol P.M.'s I now, I have a problem with sleeping meds 
. But its all good, I love sleep. Im getting ready...
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. But its all good, I love sleep. Im getting ready... Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
quasievil01:
Usually in the summer the temperature is between 77 and 86, but this summer we've been hovering around 60. Even I'm cold and I'm a fat guy.
heinleindourden:
Saturday nights most of us like to go dancing at the one industrial night. It's not too bad a time.
When will you get here?
When will you get here?
I've been so tired lately, my mom has to go to cout today I am nervous for her. Its for her and my dads divorce, finally though something is happening. I've stopped talking to him again, he is just too much to handle. He hates the Idea that my mom and I are going to Edmonton, but I love it. The move in date is...
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zanafar:
How did it go? 
Hopefully you not talking to him will cue him in on what a dick he is being
Hopefully you not talking to him will cue him in on what a dick he is being
thorr74:
I read all the way back to Aug 4 journal entry, to see why you are moving to Edmonton...family right?
Well, it should be interesting for you, if moving in Oct. have you ever been to Edmonton in the winter???
You don't like the heat? I hope you can handle minus 20 degree celcius cold. When the snot in your nose freezes.
It may be a very good move for you IF you want to try to stay away from the alcohol......yes there is a lot up here, but a new environment may help.
I would trade you ...I love the heat.....sick and tired of the 6 month winters.
Anyways, good luck, hope you like it way up here.
oh and by the way, your "current crush" and "fav sexual position" make me wanna abuse myself
[Edited on Aug 26, 2005 9:19AM]
Well, it should be interesting for you, if moving in Oct. have you ever been to Edmonton in the winter???
You don't like the heat? I hope you can handle minus 20 degree celcius cold. When the snot in your nose freezes.
It may be a very good move for you IF you want to try to stay away from the alcohol......yes there is a lot up here, but a new environment may help.
I would trade you ...I love the heat.....sick and tired of the 6 month winters.
Anyways, good luck, hope you like it way up here.
oh and by the way, your "current crush" and "fav sexual position" make me wanna abuse myself
[Edited on Aug 26, 2005 9:19AM]
Its Saturday, Im bored!! At least i actually took the time to get dressed! I hardly ever do that, I usually spend the day Sleeping. The heat has put zagan in hybernation mode, Too Hot to do anything but sleep. Oh how I love sleeping, it makes me SOOO happy. Man, I went on My BME account today and had like a million messages, I...
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zanafar:
Ive been getting like that myself on and off lately. I'll just kinda dissconnect from everything for a few days at a time. Dont really know why though
lotus:
why do you want into the canada west group?
I for one would love to see people break out from the steriotypical social groups. Id love to see a country boy in a cowboy hat but with a face full of piercings. Anything as long as its what they want to wear or act like and not just an attempt to fit in
I never understood Mansons cult following either. His music is okay. I like some songs....but not as many as the ones of his I dont like.