God.
So I need to vent to the internet and eternally document this crazy fucking story.
Those of you who have ever "broke up" with friends will sympathize and then cringe with horror.
One of my best friends Becca, who I've known for 6 years, "broke up" with me in December.
Part One:
I became friends with Becca 6 years ago and we hung out a LOT. I worked with her boyfriend at the time and worked just a few blocks from her house.
During the first 6 months of our friendship, I broke up with my then boyfriend for a week. During that week she set me up on a date with her upstairs neighbor, a huge japanese exchange student (like 6 foot 200 lb), only I had no idea it was a date as it was a group bowling event. Long story short he stalked me for 3 months and I lost respect for her taste in potential mates.
6 months after that I finally broke up with EMO stoner ex boyfriend and actually ended up dating another of her neighbors haha. We have been together 5 years and are engaged to be married. So she redeemed herself a bit.
In this 2 years though she partied like a mad woman, cheated on her boyfriend multiple times, slept with people for drugs, stole from my new boyfriends house to buy coke, lied about me to our mutual friends telling them me and her had slept together and was doing coke in the bathroom at the hospital where she worked as a CNA.
She was so subtle in her crazyness though that I never realized the full extent. I never knew she was the one that stole from us until years later when she confessed..
Part 2:
I became an apartment manager in town and got a free 2 bedroom apartment in the deal, I needed a roommate so Becca moved in. We were both working and going to school to get into nursing school so it worked out ok most of the time.
Shortly after moving in we had a requisite underwear dance part to 80's music. At 11pm or so we were fairly tired, drunk and done dancing and I announced my BF (boyfriend) was coming over to stay the night. She burst into tears! When she finally calmed down to explain, she talked about wanting to have her cake and eat it too. Basically she wanted us to have our boyfriends and a secret lesbian love affair too. Um, no..
I am big on trust in relationships. I DO NOT CHEAT. This I explained to her. It would not be the last time.
So upset, she took the remaining jello shots in her car with her to drive around town looking for her boyfriend. Crazy!
Part 3:
Becca moved up to Portland to go to nursing school there. She continued to party like it was going out of style. At some point she got a DUI, and then was jailed AGAIN a week later for driving with suspended licence. These were her choices though and she was still working and going to school.
At one point my BF and I came up to visit, we planned on staying in her apartment. She had her nephew living with her at the time. (Her aunt that she had just recently met died and the uncle was really helpless in caring for his kid. Becca fell in love with the kid the 2 weeks she was in vegas helping with the funeral, she offered to take him for a few months while the uncle got his shit together).
Her uncle knew we were there (in the 3 bedroom apartment he was paying for) and kept calling and calling and calling and calling.... acting like a suspicous boyfriend. Wierd right? Especially because she had been hinting to us earlier that afternoon about being interested in having a 3some with us. BF and I decided it was too wierd and stayed with his parents that night.
Come to find out..... SHE IS DATING HER UNCLE! DOH!
Yea, wanting to sleep with us in the same apartment that her nephew is in while she is dating her uncle. Ok really really wierd.
Part 4:
She moves to Vegas to live with her uncle who has paid all her legal fees, bought her a new car, and has promised to pay all bills while she goes to school.
I stay friends with her because she is deep down a good person and we were really good friends.
oh and the uncle thing. Wierd but not sooo bad. It's her mother's half brother, they didn't grow up knowing eacother so they met just recently as adults, and he is only 3 years older than her. Her family pretty much disowned her and though I didn't agree, I still cared about her and thought she deserved support in trying to find happiness.
So she has been in Vegas the last 2 years and we have stayed in touch. We both happened to be in our home town at the same time about a year ago and hung out. Her uncle called a million times and threatened to fly out in the middle of the night to find my parents house because becca had lied to him about staying out there. He thought we were secret lesbian lovers!! Gah... She had told him about all the crazy partying she had done before meeting him and he hated me thinking I was a part of it (never never).
Anyway, after one million red flags regarding their relationship came up that weekend, they go to Canada to get married. Gargh.
p.s. she has also become a born again christian FREAK
Part 5 The break up:
So after seeing her only once in over 2 years, she has been begging me to come to vegas to visit. Her and uncle have bought a house and the family is doing just fine. I got extra money from my summer job so I agree to come out the last week of winter break.
Yay, all set, tickets bought. Uncle has accepted that I am not a threat to his marriage and am actuallly one of becca's better influences.
3 days before the flight...I get a text message.
For the sake of my marriage, I can never see you again. I am sorry, Becca
WTF???!!! Right???
Yea, so I cancel the tickets, and try to call. Hours later she finally picks up the phone sobbing.
Her story is this:
This xmas eve her and uncle/husband went to a party. Becca drank and smoked pott for the first time in a year. On the ride home she felt like being honest with uncle/husband and told him she still like girls. Then she told him she still wanted to be with girls sometimes.
He knew this from before so was cool with it. THen she tells him that she is in love with me, always has, always will be....
WTF??
He is not so cool with that, they argue for days. He actually was better than I thought he would be and recognized that this was her crazy bullshit and not mine, he was fine with me coming to visit but didn't trust his wife (hmmmm. I wonder why?) and would take time of work to chaparone her around me.
SHE was not ok with that so she sent me the text message.
We talked, I forgave her and she still wanted to be friends. I told her no, I still care but I can't be involved in this kind of drama ALL THE TIME. So we agreed to end it.
Golly shit! I don't know why I stayed friends for so long but sometimes people are just the ones you need. She was always there to talk with and we laughed sooo much. I did love her as a friend but she never got the idea of bounderies and monogomy.
I am bi and my BF and I would potentially be down for a GF but not one in a relationship and not with someone seriously interested in either of us as partners. She never got that we couldn't have a secret relationship secondary to our commited ones. It blows my mind that she couldn't just be friends.
Watch out, I am a heartbreaker.
Anyway.
If you ever see me on Jerry Springer yelling "Shut your fucking face, uncle Fucker!!!!!"
Now you know why.
So I need to vent to the internet and eternally document this crazy fucking story.
Those of you who have ever "broke up" with friends will sympathize and then cringe with horror.
One of my best friends Becca, who I've known for 6 years, "broke up" with me in December.
Part One:
I became friends with Becca 6 years ago and we hung out a LOT. I worked with her boyfriend at the time and worked just a few blocks from her house.
During the first 6 months of our friendship, I broke up with my then boyfriend for a week. During that week she set me up on a date with her upstairs neighbor, a huge japanese exchange student (like 6 foot 200 lb), only I had no idea it was a date as it was a group bowling event. Long story short he stalked me for 3 months and I lost respect for her taste in potential mates.
6 months after that I finally broke up with EMO stoner ex boyfriend and actually ended up dating another of her neighbors haha. We have been together 5 years and are engaged to be married. So she redeemed herself a bit.
In this 2 years though she partied like a mad woman, cheated on her boyfriend multiple times, slept with people for drugs, stole from my new boyfriends house to buy coke, lied about me to our mutual friends telling them me and her had slept together and was doing coke in the bathroom at the hospital where she worked as a CNA.
She was so subtle in her crazyness though that I never realized the full extent. I never knew she was the one that stole from us until years later when she confessed..
Part 2:
I became an apartment manager in town and got a free 2 bedroom apartment in the deal, I needed a roommate so Becca moved in. We were both working and going to school to get into nursing school so it worked out ok most of the time.
Shortly after moving in we had a requisite underwear dance part to 80's music. At 11pm or so we were fairly tired, drunk and done dancing and I announced my BF (boyfriend) was coming over to stay the night. She burst into tears! When she finally calmed down to explain, she talked about wanting to have her cake and eat it too. Basically she wanted us to have our boyfriends and a secret lesbian love affair too. Um, no..
I am big on trust in relationships. I DO NOT CHEAT. This I explained to her. It would not be the last time.
So upset, she took the remaining jello shots in her car with her to drive around town looking for her boyfriend. Crazy!
Part 3:
Becca moved up to Portland to go to nursing school there. She continued to party like it was going out of style. At some point she got a DUI, and then was jailed AGAIN a week later for driving with suspended licence. These were her choices though and she was still working and going to school.
At one point my BF and I came up to visit, we planned on staying in her apartment. She had her nephew living with her at the time. (Her aunt that she had just recently met died and the uncle was really helpless in caring for his kid. Becca fell in love with the kid the 2 weeks she was in vegas helping with the funeral, she offered to take him for a few months while the uncle got his shit together).
Her uncle knew we were there (in the 3 bedroom apartment he was paying for) and kept calling and calling and calling and calling.... acting like a suspicous boyfriend. Wierd right? Especially because she had been hinting to us earlier that afternoon about being interested in having a 3some with us. BF and I decided it was too wierd and stayed with his parents that night.
Come to find out..... SHE IS DATING HER UNCLE! DOH!
Yea, wanting to sleep with us in the same apartment that her nephew is in while she is dating her uncle. Ok really really wierd.
Part 4:
She moves to Vegas to live with her uncle who has paid all her legal fees, bought her a new car, and has promised to pay all bills while she goes to school.
I stay friends with her because she is deep down a good person and we were really good friends.
oh and the uncle thing. Wierd but not sooo bad. It's her mother's half brother, they didn't grow up knowing eacother so they met just recently as adults, and he is only 3 years older than her. Her family pretty much disowned her and though I didn't agree, I still cared about her and thought she deserved support in trying to find happiness.
So she has been in Vegas the last 2 years and we have stayed in touch. We both happened to be in our home town at the same time about a year ago and hung out. Her uncle called a million times and threatened to fly out in the middle of the night to find my parents house because becca had lied to him about staying out there. He thought we were secret lesbian lovers!! Gah... She had told him about all the crazy partying she had done before meeting him and he hated me thinking I was a part of it (never never).
Anyway, after one million red flags regarding their relationship came up that weekend, they go to Canada to get married. Gargh.
p.s. she has also become a born again christian FREAK
Part 5 The break up:
So after seeing her only once in over 2 years, she has been begging me to come to vegas to visit. Her and uncle have bought a house and the family is doing just fine. I got extra money from my summer job so I agree to come out the last week of winter break.
Yay, all set, tickets bought. Uncle has accepted that I am not a threat to his marriage and am actuallly one of becca's better influences.
3 days before the flight...I get a text message.
For the sake of my marriage, I can never see you again. I am sorry, Becca
WTF???!!! Right???
Yea, so I cancel the tickets, and try to call. Hours later she finally picks up the phone sobbing.
Her story is this:
This xmas eve her and uncle/husband went to a party. Becca drank and smoked pott for the first time in a year. On the ride home she felt like being honest with uncle/husband and told him she still like girls. Then she told him she still wanted to be with girls sometimes.
He knew this from before so was cool with it. THen she tells him that she is in love with me, always has, always will be....
WTF??
He is not so cool with that, they argue for days. He actually was better than I thought he would be and recognized that this was her crazy bullshit and not mine, he was fine with me coming to visit but didn't trust his wife (hmmmm. I wonder why?) and would take time of work to chaparone her around me.
SHE was not ok with that so she sent me the text message.
We talked, I forgave her and she still wanted to be friends. I told her no, I still care but I can't be involved in this kind of drama ALL THE TIME. So we agreed to end it.
Golly shit! I don't know why I stayed friends for so long but sometimes people are just the ones you need. She was always there to talk with and we laughed sooo much. I did love her as a friend but she never got the idea of bounderies and monogomy.
I am bi and my BF and I would potentially be down for a GF but not one in a relationship and not with someone seriously interested in either of us as partners. She never got that we couldn't have a secret relationship secondary to our commited ones. It blows my mind that she couldn't just be friends.
Watch out, I am a heartbreaker.
Anyway.
If you ever see me on Jerry Springer yelling "Shut your fucking face, uncle Fucker!!!!!"
Now you know why.
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I miss you too!
Sorry.