@rambo @missy I know this isn't a blog homework, but I wanted to say something..
"Don't call me sexy"
Back when I was in school, I was a skinny, short-haired chick with weird clothes. Other kids picked on me.
I had my own sense of fashion, did everything my own way and refused to follow a crowd.
Whenever I was bullied, I didn't fight back, didn't call my bullies names in return.
I didn't care that these girls were fat, that their clothes and haircuts were all the same, that they ganged up on me.
After school, I'd just go home and hung out with my real friends. Weirdos and punks who looked and acted differently from the rest.
They might not be exactly the same as me, but being different together made being different less agonizing.
I was a sweet girl, not very pretty, but I sure wasn't ugly either!
Even back then I loved make-up and coloring my short hair differently every week. Showing everybody I was different, even though the real difference was on the inside.
Like I said, I never considered myself pretty on the outside. But subconsciously, I made up for that by being nice and respectful to everybody.
Now, I've only recently started to think of myself as pretty. Beautiful even, in my own way.
My boyfriend gave me the confidence and helped me to believe in myself. He encouraged me to take a huge step.
I became a Hopeful Suicide Girl and started doing photoshoots with photographers.
With nude pics on the internet, an SGH title on Instagram and Facebook, thousands of followers and even a couple of paid assignments, I gained some minor status in my own tiny country in Western Europe. Minor is huge if you compare it to being bullied for being too skinny!
I'm making friends on, among and because of Suicide Girls!
While I'm enjoying myself thoroughly, people are enjoying my photo's and are commenting on them with private or public messages.
Most of these messages are flattering and sweet, some of them are kind of weird and every now and then I receive an unfriendly message.
I try to always reply to the nice messages, even if it's just with a 'thank you' and a digital kiss. Now and again my reply is more extensive and lengthy. It all depends, of course, on my mood, the level of respect and the content of the message.
Even the weird messages get a reply, most of the time! I'm still the nice girl I once was and I intend to stay that way...
The unfriendly ones get erased right away. Negative attention is attention too, and that's what these fools want. To be noticed. I don't think it's wise to reward this kind of behavior. However, I don't see what's to gain with replying in an unfriendly manner. It sure won't make me feel better about myself. (To be clear, there are never any weird or nasty messages on SG. Only gentleman here!)
I'm not a superstar, I sit around in my pajamas watching The Walking Dead, eating peanutbuttercups and drinking wine on a Sunday.
Sure, I'm confident now. I appreciate my body and I love the compliments I'm getting.
But you'll never catch me at being arrogant...
Which brings me to something I read the other day. Some guy commented on a Facebook post from a Hopeful Suicide Girl.
"You're so sexy!", the guy said.
"I don't like to be called sexy", the SGH replied.
I started scrolling through the thread and noticed she had replied to other guys in the same manner.
Men who commented in any other language than Dutch or English got scolded, humiliated even (something about their moms).
She was being called 'Linda' by some Spanish guy, which means 'cute' if I'm not mistaken. She didn't even bother to look up what it meant and just scolded the gentleman for not speaking the right language, according to her.
Another comment I read was: "My sexy hun".
That sounds sweet! But she replied with: "I'm not yours, nor do I like to get called sexy"
Wait, what? Why not!?
What's wrong with that!?
20 years ago, I would've cut off my left ear to be called 'sexy'. I still love it when somebody does!
Sure, it's okay to be feminist, to stick up for yourself, to have feelings.
But we're models, why the arrogance? What makes us better than the boys who enjoy our photos? Nothing! We're all the same and we all deserve to be treated with respect.
When you post nude pictures of yourself on the internet and you want the whole world to see them, you should accept that there will be comments, reactions, compliments, people hitting on you! If you don't want that to happen, you shouldn't aspire to be a Suicide Girl.
We want people to think we're beautiful, sexy, hot, right? What else are we doing this for?
Suicide Girls is a brand, something I'm proud to be a part of. Whenever I go out there, I represent SG, even if I'm 'just a Hopeful'.
That takes with it a bunch of responsibility (With great tits, comes great responsibility).
If I misbehave, people are gonna say: "That Suicide Girl just misbehaved"
We should take pride in our status and honor it by being the best representatives we can be.
Stop being a bitch to the very guys who spend their hard-earned dollars to see your body. Your art!
Me, I hope to carry the title of Suicide Girl. If I do... When I do, I'll thank my sweet followers and the ones who supported me. It's MAINLY because of them I ever had the strength to get this far. Call me 'sexy', 'hot', 'baby', 'honey', 'linda', 'hermosa' or whatever. I will be happy with the compliment and you won't find me scolding anyone. What's the use?
Beauty is temporary.
We'll be old soon and everybody will be judging us for the way we've always treated them.
I'd rather be a sweet old lady than a bitter old hag.
It's up to us...