Motovation level is at 50% today, up from about 20% lately. I should be using that valuable energy to be doing laundry and doing valuable crap, but no, my motovation is up, but so is my selective procrastination. I do hope to meet some new people tonight, though. Hopefully that will happen. I think this place would be a kinda cool place to live if only i had FRIENDS. Doing better in that department lately, however. Jonny met a girl at work that we've been chillin with lately. Sarah's pertty cool but i think Jonny's got big ideas about me and her since she likes girls. Had a talk with him last night about that. I know we've had the talk before. He's such a jealous ogre when i become interested in knowing a guy, but he's all for the lesbian hardcore action, starring me. I think i finally got through to him. The thing is, a woman could very well take me from him as easily as a man. Girls, guys, whatever... doesn't make a lick of difference (no pun intended). By the end of the talk i had him begging me not to leave him for a girl. "I just don't know how i'd react," says he.
On another note, this morning i was called into work at 5:30 after i'd been out all night helping Jonny slap out dough at his work. We'd just gotten home at 4:30, got in our jammies, got nice and toasted and whatnot when i got the call. I cried for a little bit just because it happens ALL THE TIME, and i might not mind going in all the time if i liked the place where i worked, but i don't. And i'm too nice to say "no way," when she says there is definately no one else. So, high, sleepy, jammie-clad and crying, Jonny pulled me down onto the bed in his lap, and for the first time since i was probably 10 years old, someone rocked me better. He just held me like a baby in his lap and rocked slowly, back and forth. If you haven't been rocked lately, you really should. If it's been a while, you forget how potent of a remedy a good rocking is. ANYway, i get to work and as i'm getting set to start the shift, i do the most amazing thing... i told the truth. I was high. It wasthe greatest thing, the truth. My manager called our supervisor, told her i was high and sent me home. I'd planned on putting in my notice by the end of the shift... maybe i'll just get fired. I would fucking love that. Not have to finish out the schedule and stuff. I've never hated working somewhere so much. It's the manager who's never managed anything ever... it's the schedule, constantly changing, sometimes without me knowing... it's the neighborhood, not so safe... It's the fact that i'm being paid $6.70 to be an assistant and she doesn't take to heart anything i say and in even a near-perfect world i'd be paid at least $8 an hour to put up with the crap i put up with. I don't need this abuse and i don't need their position. I've got a year of assistant management under my belt, so screw them.
Bitchbitchbitchbitch.... pleh.
I'm going to be just fine.
"You can stand all night at a red light anywhere in town, hailing Marys left and right, but none of them slow down. I seen the best of men go past, i don't wanna be the last. Gimme something fast."
Cold weather makes me so upset. I really makes me want to cry when it gets so cold. Jonny doesn't get cold easily. He says he actually loves it when it gets cold, but of course i suspect he likes a lot of things people hate just to be contrary. Like the back seat. He never ever calls shotgun. And anchovies... but i like anchovies too... anchovies do rule.
I have a theory about anchovies... I believe that 80% of people who "hate" anchovies have never ever had them in their lives. The only reason they hate them is because everyone else does. Even EYE thought i hated them before i had them.
ANCHOVIES RULE!
Indeed.

On another note, this morning i was called into work at 5:30 after i'd been out all night helping Jonny slap out dough at his work. We'd just gotten home at 4:30, got in our jammies, got nice and toasted and whatnot when i got the call. I cried for a little bit just because it happens ALL THE TIME, and i might not mind going in all the time if i liked the place where i worked, but i don't. And i'm too nice to say "no way," when she says there is definately no one else. So, high, sleepy, jammie-clad and crying, Jonny pulled me down onto the bed in his lap, and for the first time since i was probably 10 years old, someone rocked me better. He just held me like a baby in his lap and rocked slowly, back and forth. If you haven't been rocked lately, you really should. If it's been a while, you forget how potent of a remedy a good rocking is. ANYway, i get to work and as i'm getting set to start the shift, i do the most amazing thing... i told the truth. I was high. It wasthe greatest thing, the truth. My manager called our supervisor, told her i was high and sent me home. I'd planned on putting in my notice by the end of the shift... maybe i'll just get fired. I would fucking love that. Not have to finish out the schedule and stuff. I've never hated working somewhere so much. It's the manager who's never managed anything ever... it's the schedule, constantly changing, sometimes without me knowing... it's the neighborhood, not so safe... It's the fact that i'm being paid $6.70 to be an assistant and she doesn't take to heart anything i say and in even a near-perfect world i'd be paid at least $8 an hour to put up with the crap i put up with. I don't need this abuse and i don't need their position. I've got a year of assistant management under my belt, so screw them.
Bitchbitchbitchbitch.... pleh.
I'm going to be just fine.
"You can stand all night at a red light anywhere in town, hailing Marys left and right, but none of them slow down. I seen the best of men go past, i don't wanna be the last. Gimme something fast."
Cold weather makes me so upset. I really makes me want to cry when it gets so cold. Jonny doesn't get cold easily. He says he actually loves it when it gets cold, but of course i suspect he likes a lot of things people hate just to be contrary. Like the back seat. He never ever calls shotgun. And anchovies... but i like anchovies too... anchovies do rule.
I have a theory about anchovies... I believe that 80% of people who "hate" anchovies have never ever had them in their lives. The only reason they hate them is because everyone else does. Even EYE thought i hated them before i had them.
ANCHOVIES RULE!
Indeed.

would being high really affect your work performance?
too-dah-loo
But either way i find it ridicoulous that you thought for a second that i was trying to get you and sarah together...... fook...... thats about as bad as using the word WACKY!!!!
So, since this response was in sheer spite of what you wrote in your journal......... i apologize if it doesnt make sense.....