I've gotten to this point in my life where i don't want to keep people in my life for very long. i've never had people in my life that have lasted, and finally i've gotten to that point where i just don't want them to.
i hate more than anything to hurt people i care about. and there's no way in hell that i'm not going to, so i much much much rather them just never begin to care about me, it's so much easier that way, and i rather feel like shit about not having anyone caring about me then feeling like i hurt the people i care about.
when i was growing up, my biggest fear was that i was going to end up alone. i wanted to be married by 21. and my biggest goal in life was to get married. ever since the girl that fucked me up that's all changed. i no longer fear ending up alone, actually part of me wants it, and expects it.
my mind is a rollercoaster, it goes up and thinks about good things, it heads down and thinks about bad things, but in the end it ends up in the same place thinking about the same thing.
I'm going to be very wishy washy lately. and i'm sorry for that. i'm also sorry to anyone i've hurt lately.
i hate more than anything to hurt people i care about. and there's no way in hell that i'm not going to, so i much much much rather them just never begin to care about me, it's so much easier that way, and i rather feel like shit about not having anyone caring about me then feeling like i hurt the people i care about.
when i was growing up, my biggest fear was that i was going to end up alone. i wanted to be married by 21. and my biggest goal in life was to get married. ever since the girl that fucked me up that's all changed. i no longer fear ending up alone, actually part of me wants it, and expects it.
my mind is a rollercoaster, it goes up and thinks about good things, it heads down and thinks about bad things, but in the end it ends up in the same place thinking about the same thing.
I'm going to be very wishy washy lately. and i'm sorry for that. i'm also sorry to anyone i've hurt lately.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Whatever it is, mate, shit happens and it is sometimes as inevitable as the rise of the sun. Nothing better to do but take it in stride and try to amend whatever wrongs you've done, and apologize to those deserving of it.
keep your chin up dude. And don't hesitate to come knockin if you need to talk and get shit outta your head before it blows up.
xxtmnt87xx said:
my mind is a rollercoaster, it goes up and thinks about good things, it heads down and thinks about bad things, but in the end it ends up in the same place thinking about the same thing.
You don't say, huh? Our blogs are similar like that today, apparently.
Ms_Magdalena said:
What a wild rollercoaster this life is, eh? Too bad I hate rollercoasters.
And sweetie - you haven't hurt anyone, ok?
♥