i fucking did it again >.< i went to her myspace knowing i'd feel like shit, but i did it. i hate every fucking day i live without her. i hate it. i fucking loathe my entire being. i can't for the love of me stop loving her. and yet i know there is nothing i could ever do to get her back. i hate that i've gone completely crazy over her. all i ever fucking needed from the world was her. and now all i want is to die. i wish i could fucking kill myself tonight more than anyone could ever imagine but i'm too much of a pussy.
i'm so fucking worthless. there's nothing redeeming about me. no one in this world gves me a second glance. i'm not a good friend. i can't trust a single person anymore. i expect to be let down. i expect to be alone. i hate all people. i can't be around others in a normal environment without feeling weird or out of place. i can't fucking stop thinking about her. i want it all to end. i don't want it.
this is why i know there is no god... the idea heaven being a place where you're reunited with all your loved ones, is impossible. because you will always love others that don't love you, so therefore it wouldn't be the real them you're reunited with. also people loves others who might go to hell, again meaning that if you were reunited with them it wouldn't be the real them. there are good people that die from illness and evil people who live long happy lves.
no one will ever love me. i'm not worth loving. i'm not anything special, and the only thing i have and will bring to others is misery. i can't live past one girl. so how am i supposed to live past a second or a third. if i meet someone i'll just be settling cause in the end they aren't her.
i'm entirely crazy. but then there's a thin line between love and insanity and apparently i crossed it long ago.
i need to fucking die. i wish i could do it. i wish i was more of a man. i wsih i had it in me to take my life. i wasn't meant for this world. i wasn't meant to live this long. i didn't even deserve a chance at life because i'm a waste of space.
nothing can ever make me feel completely better. nothing will ever make my pain go away. nothing will ever make me feel the way i used to.
i'm so fucking worthless. there's nothing redeeming about me. no one in this world gves me a second glance. i'm not a good friend. i can't trust a single person anymore. i expect to be let down. i expect to be alone. i hate all people. i can't be around others in a normal environment without feeling weird or out of place. i can't fucking stop thinking about her. i want it all to end. i don't want it.
this is why i know there is no god... the idea heaven being a place where you're reunited with all your loved ones, is impossible. because you will always love others that don't love you, so therefore it wouldn't be the real them you're reunited with. also people loves others who might go to hell, again meaning that if you were reunited with them it wouldn't be the real them. there are good people that die from illness and evil people who live long happy lves.
no one will ever love me. i'm not worth loving. i'm not anything special, and the only thing i have and will bring to others is misery. i can't live past one girl. so how am i supposed to live past a second or a third. if i meet someone i'll just be settling cause in the end they aren't her.
i'm entirely crazy. but then there's a thin line between love and insanity and apparently i crossed it long ago.
i need to fucking die. i wish i could do it. i wish i was more of a man. i wsih i had it in me to take my life. i wasn't meant for this world. i wasn't meant to live this long. i didn't even deserve a chance at life because i'm a waste of space.
nothing can ever make me feel completely better. nothing will ever make my pain go away. nothing will ever make me feel the way i used to.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
user038538:
also, i looked at your myspace for the first time and you seem like a way more interesting person than you make yourself out to be on here.
user038538:
i'm sure you aren't being ignored intentionally, but i'm going to assume you keep to yourself...i'm telling you, all you have to do is get out (i think you need alot of things actually, but start here)...even by yourself...i wish i lived in *massachusets?? (*forgive my spelling errors, if there are any, i've never had to spell that before and i was too lazy to go look)