xxtmnt87xx

constant endless thinking on a subject that makes your heart die. loving while being unloved. being let down without ever wanting to let down. endless waves of emotion. pain beyond control. life without, is a life not worth living.

i'm on the verge of completely and utterly breaking down completely. every day just feels horrid. i wake up always in a bad mood, and unless something amazing changes then i end up feeling like shit all day. i can't control my anger, i hate my anger so much. i hate who i am. i hate everything about me.

i'll never find someone that will...
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How do you live with someone you hate especially when that person is yourself. people always tell me i'll find someone to love, and i always refuse that fact, because who could love someone that hates themself so much. no one could.

i've never wondered why i've lost most people as friends. i've never wondered why i'm not popular, i've never wondered why people stop...
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got my wii.

still hate myself.

still wish i could die already.

I'm so fucking sick of being invisible. i hate it, i hate it so fucking much, going unnoticed never getting any kind of attention. i really wish i could just yell "LOOK AT ME, NOTICE ME, PAY ATTENTION TO ME".

i'm so sick of looking at beautful girls, and just wishing i could find a girl like them, cause i know i never will. i'll...
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What is love? in this day and age, it means so little to most. it's taken so lightly and thrown away with little to no thought. people decide instantly that they love another with even getting to know them in the slightest. people often mistake lust for love.

to me love is sacred. it means something important, it holds deep feelings that just can't be...
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*sigh* that's a sound i've been typing a lot of lately. i have this underlying urge to type something here. but it's all been said before. it's like the only times i want to post is when i'm unhappy. i'm just entirely not interesting. so it's hard for me to understand why anyone would want to befriend me.

every day my thoughts still belong to...
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I need a girl who will sit on my face. i need a girl to cuddle with just because. i need a girl to hold my hand. i need a girl to fall in love with. i need a girl to fall in love with me. i need a girl to sit on my lap. i need a girl to give flowers to. i need...
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There's a light
A certain kind of light
That never shone on me
I want my life to lived with you
Lived with you
There's a way everybody say
To do each and every little thing
But what does it bring
If I ain't got you, ain't got ?
You don't know what it's like, baby
You don't know what it's like

To love somebody...
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every day that goes by i notice my sanity leaving me more and more. i realize how unstabble i am, and that i'm not ever gonna be good for someone else. with that said here's my next song i'm putting up. because obviously this is always how i've felt.

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess...
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I can't live If living is without you
by Harry Nilsson

No, I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way this story goes,
You always smile....
But in you eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows

No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrows
When I had you there but...
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Ok i guess now is time for an update. seeing as how i'm a day older and i have been able to say i'm 22 for a whole day.

these emotions never stop. the thoughts they never quiet down. i realize how i come off to people. and i realize no one wants to deal with someone who is always depressed.

the day of my...
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