xsylentonex

So I'm starting to feel the itch to do something 'creative'.

Well, that's sort of a lie. I always have that itch. It's just becoming more intense lately. I can't really decide, however, how to let that out. Photography, Art, Music, shooting my own porn...you know...normal stuff.

I dunno. Sometimes I'll come up with a great idea...and just as I'm about to start up, I'll becoming instantly discouraged. Performance anxiety? Not really. Fear of success? I wouldn't say that.

I guess I'm just confused as to where to start.

That's always been sort of an issue with me. But I'm just going to start running with things. Fuck it.

But for the love of god, someone help a brotha' out! I seriously need to make friends. I have my social anxiety issues sometimes, and can be kind of quiet and introverted every once in a while. But some people take it way too personally, and they get these 'signals' from me supposedly.

Kind of makes me wish I could've made some life-long friends back when I was in HS. But I'm so different now...I've been through so much in life (at least, relative to my own progression in life).

Sure, I'm seeing someone. She's a cool chick...no question about that, but sometimes it dawns on me that we're just so different. That's why people need more than one person in their lives. Or maybe, at least I do. I need to have a friend who I can share things with - music, movies, philisophical beliefs, my 3 bottles of tequilla, etc.

There are 3 words right now that can describe my current mood:

What
the
fuck.

=o/