Is over thinking and/or dwelling on things selfish ... Like is it really an underlining degree of selfishness where you just assume all to well that the world revolves around your happiness and what makes you happy ... So many times using love or in love as a guise to hide behind ... Fuckin crazy sometimes cause love is anything but ... Its a gift not a receipt ... It brings a smile not frustration and uncertainty
the silliness of it all ... Sometimes .. hell no a lot ... A lot of times I question myself .. My love .. care ... thoughts ... I`m always looking at it from that judgmental mirror ... Always trying to question is what I see from this side (mine) the same as how other people see it (the mirror reflection side) ... Maybe its just a doubt ... Maybe its a honest attempt to "get things right" my openness isn`t heroic .. Its not special and should`t be applauded ... It may be different but its not purely disconnected from self ... If I honestly ask myself if my love is true ... Its as much for me as it is for you ... I don`t want to assume or live within a feeling when the reasons aren`t true and honest ... Like being "in love" with someone because its easier than being alone ... Dating someone you care about but don`t really mesh with just because you enjoy most of it ... In the scope does an I love you say anything about you ... Or is it more about me ... Do I say it because I don`t want to be alone or is it honest
I`ve dug ... Dug very deep at times in my life .. Asked those questions to myself a lot ... Trying to seek a real and honest answer ... My love ... What is it? ... What does it mean? ... What does it want .. Hope? Desire? ... I can`t always honestly say ... I can`t always look within and find the answer ... Idk ... Perhaps the fact that I look defines the love ... Maybe I adore and respect it so much I want it to be real .. Want it to be honest ...
again ... Maybe the questions are all just a ruse of an addiction to love ... Wanting it so bad ... Feeling it deeper than exists ... Hoping more than feeling
I can do no more than to look within ... Honestly look within ... Search and ask the hard questions of myself ... Then being out those honest feelings ... And present them ... Weather they are real, unsteady, spin around or flat out wrong ... The honest answers at the moment are all I can offer ... All I can bring to the table ...
I hope if in the future or if ever in the past, present I find myslef loving please know it raises from an honesty of breath ... Should it grow, prosper fade die bloom or confuse .. Please ... Please trust it and don`t look through skeptics eyes ... It already has been so once .. More than you know
gotta love my randomness ... And so many mis spellings
the silliness of it all ... Sometimes .. hell no a lot ... A lot of times I question myself .. My love .. care ... thoughts ... I`m always looking at it from that judgmental mirror ... Always trying to question is what I see from this side (mine) the same as how other people see it (the mirror reflection side) ... Maybe its just a doubt ... Maybe its a honest attempt to "get things right" my openness isn`t heroic .. Its not special and should`t be applauded ... It may be different but its not purely disconnected from self ... If I honestly ask myself if my love is true ... Its as much for me as it is for you ... I don`t want to assume or live within a feeling when the reasons aren`t true and honest ... Like being "in love" with someone because its easier than being alone ... Dating someone you care about but don`t really mesh with just because you enjoy most of it ... In the scope does an I love you say anything about you ... Or is it more about me ... Do I say it because I don`t want to be alone or is it honest
I`ve dug ... Dug very deep at times in my life .. Asked those questions to myself a lot ... Trying to seek a real and honest answer ... My love ... What is it? ... What does it mean? ... What does it want .. Hope? Desire? ... I can`t always honestly say ... I can`t always look within and find the answer ... Idk ... Perhaps the fact that I look defines the love ... Maybe I adore and respect it so much I want it to be real .. Want it to be honest ...
again ... Maybe the questions are all just a ruse of an addiction to love ... Wanting it so bad ... Feeling it deeper than exists ... Hoping more than feeling
I can do no more than to look within ... Honestly look within ... Search and ask the hard questions of myself ... Then being out those honest feelings ... And present them ... Weather they are real, unsteady, spin around or flat out wrong ... The honest answers at the moment are all I can offer ... All I can bring to the table ...
I hope if in the future or if ever in the past, present I find myslef loving please know it raises from an honesty of breath ... Should it grow, prosper fade die bloom or confuse .. Please ... Please trust it and don`t look through skeptics eyes ... It already has been so once .. More than you know
gotta love my randomness ... And so many mis spellings
lolablu:
I grew up in a small town called Bloomingdale. Heard of it?
lolablu:
I have tattoos from Shotsie's too. Shotsie himself recently moved to the Southwest, and that makes me sad.