I feel like I have something I need to get out of my system, something on my mind that's weighing me down. I don't know what it is though. I don't why that is. Maybe I don't have enough time to think anymore. Maybe I've lost the ability to think clearly? Do I just dream around about what I want to accomplish without doing anything? Nothing is real. Everything that's come and gone, even the things that remain in my head might as well all be make-believe. Maybe nothing ever took place the way I thought it did, maybe nothing ever will take place the way I intend. Even currently, I might be seeing a reality that doesn't even exist. Everything I have been, everything I am now, is nothing like what I've tried to be. I'm not even sure I know what that is anymore, or whether it matters. I think I used to have an understanding for my beliefs, my principles, my thoughts, or maybe that's just my imagination as well. Now I have a hard time even thinking. It hurts to think about almost anything. My life, the lives of others, the world as a whole, the small scale, the big picture.....it all just hurts. And that's just thinking....feeling is even worse. I'm concerned that if this development continues, I won't be able to understand my thoughts or my feelings anymore. One line after another begins to blur. I don't think they used to, I'm not sure. I don't think they should, but that might not be up to me. It doesn't seem to be. I think I'm supposed to be looking for something. I might actually be doing so, but I don't know what I'm looking for. Whatever it may be, it seems very difficult to find. Writing this hurts my head. None of this even makes any sense. I take a look around, and I think none of this is supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to be here, maybe? I wonder where I'm supposed to be then.
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worldablaze:
I've managed to say nothing again, maybe less than nothing. Empty statements are everywhere, adding more of my own seems excessive. Can you add emptiness to empty space? If the emptiness keeps adding up, it might gain mass and consume substance around it like a black hole. Or maybe as the emptiness expands, and the substance remains the same, the substance becomes increasingly insignificant and concealed within the vast surrounding emptiness.
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user0207231052:
It's not empty.....I promise