Why I am here (at SG, not here in the existentialist kind of way):
Plainly put, I have a broken heart that I have been trying to distract. I fell in love with my oldest and dearest friend. I have known him for over ten years, and he has been my best friend for the last 5. He is more than a friend he is family. He was my brother's best man at his wedding, he is invited to every family function, he has a key to my parents house (and knows the alarm), and to top it all off he works for my dad. We would talk every day, even when I was out of town he would call to see how I was doing. We always know where the other one is and are expected to show up together at social functions. I started having a crush on him when I was still his "best friend's little sister". Over the years, we have talked about the possibility of us dating and he has always said that he wanted to just be friends and was afraid that if we dated and every thing went wrong, he would loose the friendship with my family. Neither of us date a whole lot, so we just platonically hung out all of the time. Until the Friday before Valentines. We had a little too much to drink, were giving back massages and one thing lead to another. (I do have to clarify that before it went from back rubs to more, I insisted that we talk about it for a minute to make sure that we really wanted our friendship to change in this manner. We disagree how that conversation went, but that is really irrelevant in the end.) No sex, just heavy petting. Afterwards, things seemed normal. He took me back to my car, and I went home. I knew that he was going out of town that weekend so the next chance we had to talk about it was the next monday. I was twitterpated. When we did finally talk about it on Monday he said that it was a mistake and he did it in a very flippant manner. COMPLETELY out of character for him. Needless to say I was crushed and had valentines to look forward to.
I found SG and I found a group of people that were supportive and for a few days, I felt the sexiest and happiest I have in years (even during all of the drama in PSW). In my real life, I was to hurt the be around him. I was feeling like a conjoined twin who was in the middle of being separated organ by organ, artery by artery; but here I could forget. Until today. I was reminded how, during our moment of passion, my friend kissed my stomach. He is the only person in the world that I would ever trust enough to let him do that. So again, I am heart broken.
Thank you for being an audience for me to share with.
Plainly put, I have a broken heart that I have been trying to distract. I fell in love with my oldest and dearest friend. I have known him for over ten years, and he has been my best friend for the last 5. He is more than a friend he is family. He was my brother's best man at his wedding, he is invited to every family function, he has a key to my parents house (and knows the alarm), and to top it all off he works for my dad. We would talk every day, even when I was out of town he would call to see how I was doing. We always know where the other one is and are expected to show up together at social functions. I started having a crush on him when I was still his "best friend's little sister". Over the years, we have talked about the possibility of us dating and he has always said that he wanted to just be friends and was afraid that if we dated and every thing went wrong, he would loose the friendship with my family. Neither of us date a whole lot, so we just platonically hung out all of the time. Until the Friday before Valentines. We had a little too much to drink, were giving back massages and one thing lead to another. (I do have to clarify that before it went from back rubs to more, I insisted that we talk about it for a minute to make sure that we really wanted our friendship to change in this manner. We disagree how that conversation went, but that is really irrelevant in the end.) No sex, just heavy petting. Afterwards, things seemed normal. He took me back to my car, and I went home. I knew that he was going out of town that weekend so the next chance we had to talk about it was the next monday. I was twitterpated. When we did finally talk about it on Monday he said that it was a mistake and he did it in a very flippant manner. COMPLETELY out of character for him. Needless to say I was crushed and had valentines to look forward to.
I found SG and I found a group of people that were supportive and for a few days, I felt the sexiest and happiest I have in years (even during all of the drama in PSW). In my real life, I was to hurt the be around him. I was feeling like a conjoined twin who was in the middle of being separated organ by organ, artery by artery; but here I could forget. Until today. I was reminded how, during our moment of passion, my friend kissed my stomach. He is the only person in the world that I would ever trust enough to let him do that. So again, I am heart broken.
Thank you for being an audience for me to share with.
It sounds like (and I don't know him, or you, but anyway...) he was sticking to his no-intimacy rule until alcohol got involved, and now maybe he's scared and trying to disassociate himself totally from it all.
I'm sure someday you can find another stomach-kisser.